28 Dec 2018
Empowerment, Guest Blog Posts, Holistic Health, Uncategorized
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How to Instantly Become a Sexy Fit Vegan

There it was… A comment on my Facebook post.  An unsolicited, petty cut on my generally upbeat, self-deprecating Facebook page.

“You aren’t my perception of a Sexy Fit Vegan…”

My first thought?

F*CK OFF.

And this is where I earned my crown as a Sexy Fit Vegan.  Now, I know that vulgarities generally don’t inspire regal images.  But, here I am, nonetheless, A Sexy Fit Vegan Bad Ass Queen.

The struggle to earn this has not been easy.  I have lived much of my adult life avoiding all criticism, insult, and slights.  Just a short time ago, my inner response wouldn’t have been nearly so bold. I would have found myself locked in self-doubt and punishment for days upon days because that comment would have only served to validate my own beliefs about myself.  I believed I wasn’t good enough to be sexy, fit, or vegan. Frankly, my daily life was an exercise in how invisible I could be.

And then, it all changed.

I was watching my daughter look at herself in the mirror, pulling at her clothes, tears in her eyes because she hated her new body and the curves that were springing in places that had been flat just months before.  She had previously been filled with self-confidence…more than self-confidence…a fearlessness that is uncommon in most humans I have known. At her core , that is just who she is: Brave and bold is the way she was born.

Now I watched her and realized I was watching myself.  She had learned this from me. She was putting aside her natural courage and confidence to play small, just like me.

No, I had never verbally criticized my body in front of her, but I didn’t have to. My years of striving to be invisible had spoken for me. And here it was…my legacy landed on my beautiful, fearless, bold daughter.  And the younger one was watching too.

And so, that day, I decided to love my body.

And, here’s how I did it:

  1. I acted.  I didn’t think.  I didn’t feel. I acted.  I invested in myself. I connected with Ella and the Plant Empowered Coaching Program.  I threw away all that I thought I knew about meal plans and exercise and micros and calories.  I trusted the process. I let it take me where I needed to go.
  2. I became relentless with the thoughts that weren’t serving me.  I chipped away at that belief that I wasn’t enough with evidence that I am MORE than enough and never too much.  I dug into the powerful self-coaching that Ella has so masterfully honed. I stepped back with curiosity and compassion to view these beliefs from a new perspective, and then I went to work becoming the master of my thoughts.
  3. I fully engaged in a vegan life.  These are my values. I could no longer put junk and suffering in my body.  I could no longer live in a way that didn’t fit with what I knew to be true for the sake of others’ comfort.  I had to live my values in the ultimate act of self-love.
  4. I began treating my body as I would treat anyone I love.  I made decisions about nutrition and movement out of a place of love.  I wouldn’t feed my children Mountain Dew and Doritos for supper, so why would I do this to myself?  I wouldn’t let my children miss a sports practice for a game that they love, so why would I miss a workout?  I wouldn’t allow anyone to speak unkindly to my children, so why would I allow me to do that to myself?

Somewhere along the way, I began to realize that I wasn’t just acting or deciding. I was believing. I no longer wanted to hide. My butt is still big. I have a mommy tummy.  My arms still jiggle. And I am fierce and loved. Not beautiful for a big girl. Not just a pretty face.  I am fully alive and engaged and independent and strong with all my curves and every imperfection. I am a Sexy Fit Vegan who makes decisions based in love of the body I have TODAY, not the one I might have tomorrow.

When I decided to love my body, my girls decided to love theirs.  Not long ago, the three of us decided to go shopping for new jeans.  We were in the checkout line, and a woman approached me. She said something every mother longs to hear, “You’re doing it right.” She went on, “ You and your girls are laughing and admiring your butts in the mirror.  Mine is still in the dressing room crying. You’re doing it right.”

And, you know what? I am. Now, I talk about how a banana and spinach make me feel alive in the morning. Now, I discuss what a badass I am after my kickboxing workout. Now, I look in the mirror and say out loud, “Damn, Girl!”  I am the example for my girls, not just the voice that tells them they’re beautiful. I’m the example that their own voices are the most important, truly, the only ones that matter

I watched this play out in another way just after that Facebook comment.  You see, I’ve taught my daughter something else through my actions. I’ve taught her to love herself enough to not engage in self-doubt because of someone else.  She had her first, young love break up this week. And when this little boy decided to dump her through text without explanation, her response was to say, “Grow some balls.”  Not, “What is wrong with me?” Not, “Why am i not good enough?” It was, “Grow some balls.” That’s my fearless, beautiful, bold girl!

So, forgive my sailor’s mouth when I say that one of my proudest accomplishments of this decade has been to respond to outside critics with “Fuck off”.  I am a Sexy Fit Vegan. I say that without apology or caveats.

My body continues to respond to my love, and if I never lose another pound I am still a Sexy Fit Vegan. I am fit and sexy and plus size and vegan. And another’s perception of what a Sexy Fit Vegan is simply makes no difference.  The fact is, no one gets to decide if I am a Sexy Fit Vegan but me.

31 Jul 2018
Animal Rights, Environmentalism, Going Vegan Tips, Holistic Health, Wellness Business
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Why I Chose “Sexy Fit Vegan®”

I’ve been getting some push-back on the name of my brand recently. With comments on my Facebook posts like, “Why sexy?” and “Your a fraud, just trying to use sex to make money!”

I’d like to take a moment to address this criticism…

Many of you already aware that I knew from the age of 7 that my purpose in life is to save animals by spreading awareness about the cruelty that takes place behind the closed doors of factory farms. As a child, I thought, “If only people knew, they would surely quit eating animals!” I soon realized that it was, unfortunately, a bit more complicated than that.

I started to understand that people have been conditioned from birth to believe dogs are worthy of our love, while pigs are meant to be tortured, killed and consumed. Cats are worthy of sleeping in bed with us, while cows deserve to have their throats slit so we can eat their flesh. Dolphins are beautiful, to be ooh-ed and ah-ed at, while tuna are meant to be captured, canned, and consumed.

I also came to understand that many people do not WANT to know. Why? “Ignorance is bliss” right? Once you know you can’t not know. You no longer have the “excuse” of ignorance and must take responsibility for your choices. 

I created my brand, Sexy Fit Vegan®, in 2013, when the truth about animal agriculture (both the ethical and health aspects) started being covered in the mainstream media. The information I had been sharing with people for years, was finally being exposed in ways that could not be ignored.

The mission of my brand was clear. Bring veganism into the mainstream. So yes, my thought was, “What can I name my brand that will get people’s attention?”

The word “sexy” catches people’s eye. It does draw people’s attention, probably more than any other word in the English language. Given that catching people’s attention was my goal… Sexy Fit Vegan® it was! I was beyond excited to start building my life and work around what I’m most passionate about… veganism.

I did think about what the word “sexy” meant to me before choosing it. I’ve always considered myself a feminist. I had a mom who taught me that I could do anything I put my mind to. I’m grateful that my parents gave me the space and support I needed to figure out what was important to me.

When choosing my brand name, I thought, “What happens when I’m older? Will I no longer be a sexy fit vegan?” I quickly answered myself, “Hell yeah, I’ll be a sexy fit vegan until the day I die!” Here’s why…

True sexiness is a matter of how you feel in your own skin. It has nothing to do with other people’s opinions about your appearance. Feeling sexy starts from within.

I thought about how amazing it feels to align your actions with your true values. I considered how powerful it feels to move through the world fight for what you believe in. For me, that was a fight for the end of animal exploitation. Now THAT feels sexy to me!

Not to mention the fact that we’re human beings, and sex is a part of life. It’s part of our identity. Sex is not something to feel shameful about. So why is the word “sexy” sexist? It’s not! There is nothing wrong with striving to feel sexy!

I love what my friend and Plant-Empowered Coach, Stephanie said as we were discussing this topic. “I think it’s time that women embrace that their sexual energy is a part of their wholeness. It’s time to own the fact that being an empowered female is inherently sexual.” Males are certainly proud of their sexual energy… Why should females not be proud of theirs?

Feeling sexy is not only okay, it’s liberating!

That being said (full disclosure here), my immediate reaction to those who criticized me for using the word “sexy” in my brand, without bothering to get to know me and what I’m all about, was “F**k you!  I’ve been vegan for 24 years and have worked my whole life to make a positive impact in this world.

I use a tool I teach in the Plant-Empowered Coaching Program we call “the power of the pause” to take a step back, observe that F-You thought, and recognize that it will not contribute to my cause in any positive or productive way. Hence why I’m writing and sharing this instead!

I’ve learned that part of being a leader is having critics (a.k.a haters), and part of being a good leader is accepting that some people simply aren’t going to “get it,” and that’s okay!

My entire life is focused on empowering women with the tools they need to love themselves, overcome shame, live according to their values, and build a meaningful life, through my 6-Month Plant-Empowered Coaching Program.

A meaningful life involves using your strengths and skills to make a positive impact in this world, and there is nothing sexier than that!

16 Jul 2018
Guest Blog Posts, Holistic Health, Vegan Nutrition, Vegan Recipes
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The Power of Plants: Superfoods You Should Not Miss


All fruits, veggies, herbs, seeds, and nuts deserve a place in our diet, but the truth is: some are simply better than others. You probably already have many of them in your kitchen – from the famous blueberries, kale, and chia seeds to the all-powerful turmeric. There’s even an entire vegan cookbook (probably my favorite) to inspire you to use these extraordinary ingredients aka superfoods. 

However,  there are some lesser known ones which have been around for ages and hold tremendous power when it comes to nutrition and medicine. So I’ve put together a list of the best superfoods that haven’t risen to fame, but definitely should. And don’t worry – although exotic, they can be found online or in some specialty stores in various forms.

Indian gooseberry

You’ve probably heard all about the antioxidant-rich acai. Well, here is something that has over twice the antioxidants! The fruit of the Indian gooseberry tree has been used for thousands of years in Ayurvedic medicine and is, in fact, still used today. Aside from its amazing antioxidant potency and other beneficial properties, it’s also known to help treat high cholesterol, diabetes, upset stomach, joint pain, osteoarthritis, to reduce pain and swelling caused by inflammation, etc.

The plant is not commercially cultivated in most parts of the world, but thankfully, it’s available online and in Indian grocery stores in powder form – just look for Amla powder. You can sprinkle the powder onto your meals and smoothies. 

Sorghum 

Sorghum is an ancient grain originating from Africa, and like most grains, it can be prepared in numerous ways – cooked, ground into flour, malted, or even to make sorghum popcorn. But what makes it better is that it is gluten-free, allergies to it are rare, and its nutritional benefits are pretty impressive. For one, it’s an excellent source of protein – it has similar protein content per calorie as quinoa, but it’s cheaper. 

It’s rich in nutrients like most grains, but its ORAC value – which is the measure of antioxidant content per 100g – is quite impressive, especially in comparison to other grains. White sorghum has an ORAC value of 2200, the red variety has 14000 and black is the highest, with a value of 21000. For measure, kale has an ORAC value of 1770 and blueberries have 4669. 

Tulsi

This herb, also known as Holy Basil (but not your regular basil, mind you) is another marvel and mystery of Ayurvedic medicine. It’s considered a sacred plant in the Hindu religion and the word Tulsi means “the incomparable one”. That’s because it has numerous benefits and medicinal powers, from protecting against diabetes and cancer to being used to treat pink eye due to its anti-inflammatory properties. But what’s making holy basil incredibly valuable in the modern day and getting it more attention from the scientific community are its adaptogenic properties.

Adaptogens are metabolic regulators which increase the body’s ability to (as the moniker suggests) adapt to physical and emotional stressors from the environment. Unsurprisingly, adaptogens are getting a lot of buzz lately, as we search for natural ways to cope with stress. Thus, natural adaptogens are used in supplements to balance hormones by reducing cortisol levels and promote a healthy stress response. Tulsi is an important ingredient in most of these supplements, and it can also be used in tea. 

Bacopa monnieri

Also going by the name of Brahmi, this creeping herb is another traditional adaptogen. The herb is rich in bacosides, which are chemical compounds that can repair damaged neurons and improve nerve impulse transmission, as some studies show. Thus, it is considered one of the top foods for boosting mental health and its long-term consumption is linked to improving memory, cognitive function, and mood.

But wait, there’s more: it’s also been shown to boost respiratory and digestive health, which might come as no surprise when you consider the connection between the gut flora and mental health. 

Natto

This fermented soybean food is prominent in the Japanese diet, but it has yet to gain popularity in Western households. So far, you might have encountered it in vegan sushi when dining out. Natto is very valuable for its high content of pyrazine, a compound which can prevent blood clots since it acts as a natural blood thinner. Thus, it’s an important dietary addition for anyone at risk of developing heart disease. It’s also rich in vitamin K (for maintaining bone density) and selenium, a powerful antioxidant that helps prevent cancer. However, be prepared: natto has a very pungent smell and a strange, cheese-like taste that takes getting used to. That’s why a wide number of people prefer to consume it in capsule form, but it is important to consult a physician first, especially if you are taking anticoagulants or other herbs that help thin the blood. 

So, there you have it – under-the-radar plants and herbs holding impressive power. Now, as it goes with nutrition, nobody can guarantee you that you’ll reap all the benefits because there are numerous other lifestyle factors to consider. There are, however, various studies that point to the benefits of these plants, some of which I have included in this article, and the fact that some have been used in traditional Eastern medicine definitely does hold value. At the end of the day, when you’re choosing which to incorporate into your diet – and how – it’s good to do your own research to get all the details and suggestions. Nutrition can help us reach deeper levels of wellbeing, and you might just be surprised to what extent it goes. 

 

 

28 Mar 2018
Guest Blog Posts, Holistic Health, Vegan Nutrition
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Why You Need Probiotics in Your Diet

Keeping your belly happy is an essential part of keeping your body healthy.

We all try our best to eat a healthy diet — getting enough of the three macronutrients (fats, carbohydrates and protein) and a sufficient amount of the necessary vitamins and minerals for a healthy life. One thing many of us neglect is our gut health — the bacteria that call our digestive system home to help us break down and absorb our food.

What can you do to improve your gut health and why do you really need probiotics in your diet?

What Affects Your Gut Health?

First, let’s take a look at your gut bacteria. No one likes to think about their gut being filled with bacteria, but these little microscopic organisms play a vital role in digestion. A number of things can negatively affect your gut health, including:

  • Eating too much of the same thing — If you eat the same thing all the time, you’ll create an environment that only supports a specific type of bacteria. Eat more diverse foods to start healing your gut health.
  • Lack of healthy fiber in your diet — Healthy fibers, known as prebiotics, help to promote the growth of healthy gut bacteria.
  • Drinking Too Much Alcohol — Alcohol in moderation can be good for your health, but drinking too much can unbalance your gut bacteria.
  • Taking Antibiotics — Antibiotics are necessary, but while they kill the bacteria making you sick, they’ll also kill your healthy gut bacteria.

This is a small sample of the things that can play a role in your gut health.  What can you do to ensure a healthy crop of gut bacteria?

What Are Probiotics?

We are constantly bombarded by food advertisements for things like saurkraut and kimchi claiming that these foods are filled to the brim with healthy probiotics, but what actually are probiotics?

Probiotics are defined as good bacteria that are similar or identical to the healthy bacterium that already exists in your body. Introducing these bacteria into your digestive system can help to repair the balance of bacteria in your gut. They can be found in foods or in supplements available for purchase at your local health food store.

Where Can I Find Probiotics?

Without taking supplements, what can you do to add more probiotics to your diet?

  • Enjoy some German food — Specifically, eat some sauerkraut. The fermented cabbage that is a staple of German cuisine is also a great source of natural probiotics. Make sure you’re not getting pasteurized sauerkraut though — that kills the healthy bacteria. It’s still tasty, but it’s not as good for your gut.
  • Eat some coconut yogurt — You can’t have coconut yogurt without bacteria. For the best results, look for coconut yogurt labeled as containing active cultures.
  • Head to Japan — Miso, a staple in Japanese cuisine, is another great source for probiotics. Miso is made from fermented soybeans and makes a great appetizer or soup.
  • Indulge in Kombucha — This fermented tea might sound gross, but it’s packed full of bacteria good for your gut. Some people even swear it helps to give them more energy or lose weight, but in general it’s a great source of healthy gut bacteria.

Most fermented foods have a high amount of good bacteria. Tempeh, an Indonesian soy food is another great option if you can find it. It can be hard to get authentic tempeh in the United States due to FDA regulations regarding pasteurization.

Why Do I Need Probiotics?

Why do you need to focus on keeping up with your gut health and adding probiotics to your diet? There are more than a few reasons why you should consider adding some healthy probiotics to your diet.  Our favorites include:

  1. You should trust your gut. You’ve actually got neurotransmitters in your gut, like in your brain. If your gut is out of whack, it can negatively affect your brain’s neurotransmitters. There are some studies right now looking at an unbalanced gut as a possible cause for Parkinson’s disease.
  2. It strengthens your immune system. Studies have found that having a healthy cross-section of gut bacteria contributes to a stronger immune system. It can even help with cancer treatments by improving chemotherapy effectiveness and stopping malignant tissue growth.
  3. They help to speed up your metabolism. While probiotics might not be the secret weapon for easy weight loss, having a healthy gut can help speed up your metabolism making it easier to lose weight.
  4. It might help fix your bad breath. If you keep up with your brushing and flossing regimen and your oral health is otherwise good, but you still suffer from bad breath, it might be coming from your gut. Healthy gut bacteria can help to reduce your chances of suffering halitosis.

 

With all these benefits that are either directly or indirectly related to your gut health, what are you waiting for? Head to the store, change up your diet and add some healthy fermented foods to your shopping cart. Good probiotics can help get your gut back in balance, improving your overall health and wellness with just a few cups of Kombucha.

25 Oct 2017
Going Vegan Tips, Holistic Health, Vegan Fitness
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Top 2 Reasons Yogis are Going Vegan in 2017

yogis going vegan

It’s easy to leave our yoga practice behind on the mat, but for a truly integrative approach to health and spirituality, more and more yogis are going vegan.

Because of the belief in ahimsa, non-violence, and karma, the idea that all of our thoughts and actions have a reaction in the universe, many people of the Hindu faith have been choosing a vegetarian lifestyle for thousands of years. Today yogis are taking up this ancient practice to benefit their health and enact compassion.

The health benefits of a plant based diet can’t be denied anymore. A diet low in cholesterol, which a vegan diet naturally is, and high in fiber can do wonders for your heart health, especially when combined with yoga. If you have a family history of heart disease, a vegan diet is something you should seriously consider. Yoga teaches us to honor our bodies and be mindful of how our choices affect us. Once you become deeply in tune with your body, you’ll realize how certain foods affect you. Do you feel sluggish after eating meat for lunch? Do you break out after eating cheese? These are some questions you should ask yourself to get in touch with how meat and dairy are affecting your body.

The other main reason so many yogis choose to become vegan is because of their ethics. Yoga instills in us a sense of stewardship of the world around us. In 2017, we need to make a serious commitment to the health of our planet. Of all of the ways that we damage the environment, livestock production is one of, if not the worst way. When 1 in 10 people don’t have access to clean drinking water, it’s a hard fact to swallow that livestock productions uses 1/3rd of Earth’s fresh water, while contributing to much of its pollution. And if you’re worried about deforestation, livestock production is one of the biggest contributing factors.

Yoga encourages us to recognize our connection to all living creatures. Once we take this message into our hearts, it’s hard to accept that you are inflicting pain on another creature for your own momentary satisfaction. And it isn’t just the animals that suffer in torturous conditions. In the US, workers in the meat industry face some of the most unsafe working conditions in the country.

One of the fundamental beliefs of yoga is that our mental, physical, and spiritual health are all connected. Through yoga, we try to care for all of these aspects at once. Don’t undo the progress you made on your mat once you open your refrigerator; take your practice of mindfulness into the kitchen instead. If being a vegan isn’t for you, that’s okay! You can still spend some time thinking about what you’re eating, whether it was sustainably sourced, and what it will do to your body. Regardless of what you decide, the best way to be a good yogi at the dinner table is to feel gratitude for whatever it is you have the privilege of eating.

11 Oct 2017
Guest Blog Posts, Holistic Health, Vegan Nutrition
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Top 5 Plants for Hormone Balance

Plants-for-Hormone-Balance

Many plants have hormone-balancing properties, and consuming them can be helpful if you’re experiencing symptoms related to imbalances.

Hormones are our bodies’ chemical agents for regulating the various biological functions. However, sometimes the endocrine glands that produce these hormones don’t perform at optimum levels, causing hormonal imbalance. This can happen due to disease, environmental factors, diet and lifestyle factors. Hormonal imbalances often go undetected, but over time, they produce undesirable symptoms.

There are various medical treatments to correct hormonal imbalance, but a natural approach is usually safer, less costly and more sustainable. Certain plants and herbs are renowned for their positive influence on the endocrine system by providing vital nutrients for the optimal function of endocrine glands. In this article, we share five plants that are good for hormonal balance.

Avocados

avocado for hormone balance

Healthy fats are essential for hormone function. While most people get enough Omega-6 fatty acids from cooking oils and animal proteins, they are often deficient in Omega-3 fatty acids. These fats are the building blocks of hormones, and a healthy ratio of the two types is required.

Avocados provide an inexpensive and versatile source of Omega-3 fatty acids and celebrities such as Gwyneth Paltrow swear by their benefits. They also contain potassium, folic acid, magnesium, vitamin E and some B-vitamins. These micro-nutrients all aid in hormone regulation.

In particular, avocados promote the production of progesterone, which regulates the menstrual cycle and pregnancy. They also inhibit estrogen absorption which can increase the risk of certain cancers and osteoporosis when produced in excess.

Maca Root

Maca or Lepidium meyenii is a turnip-like plant that grows in high altitude areas such as the Andes Mountains in Peru. The root of this plant is consumed as a vegetable and is said to have many health benefits that even celebrities such as Miranda Kerr can’t resist. Besides its energy boosting ability that is said to have made it a diet staple for Incan warriors, maca root is famous for its hormone balancing qualities.

Maca contains several nutrients including vitamins A. B2. B6, and C plus minerals including zinc, copper, iron, magnesium, potassium, iodine and calcium. It also contains plant sterols that stabilize estrogen, progesterone and testosterone production.

Maca is categorized as an adaptogen which means it regulates the action of different hormone glands including adrenal glands, pituitary gland, and the hypothalamus. Maca root is a celebrity favorite is available in powder form, which may be raw or gelatinized. Adding maca powder to your diet can help relieve PMS and menopause symptoms, stabilize blood glucose levels, regulate thyroid function, increase sperm production, among other benefits.

Beans

black-beans

Beans are another common and affordable plant food that can help balance your hormones. They are a natural solution for low testosterone because they contain vitamin D and zinc. They also contain folate, proteins, potassium, iron, and magnesium. Studies have shown that adequate consumption of Vitamin D increases testosterone levels. Zinc is also known to boost the testosterone levels. Beans also hormone production in the body. Beans also help female hormone imbalance by regulating estrogen production and reducing symptoms of the polycystic ovarian disorder (PCOS). There are many different types of beans including black, garbanzo, mung, black, kidney, pinto, red, Roman and navy beans.

Chasteberry

The fruit of this herb is also known as vitex or agnus castus. This dried herb is useful in the treatment of various female hormone imbalance related diseases. These include amenorrhea, PMS, dysmenorrhea, fibrocystic disease, endometriosis, uterine fibroids, and infertility.

Vitex works on the hypothalamus and pituitary gland to regulate the production of Luteinizing Hormone, Follicle-Stimulating Hormone, prolactin, and progesterone. For men, vitex can help treat enlarged prostates and inhibit prostate cancer cells proliferation.

Flaxseed

These small, black seeds contain an omega-3 fatty known as ALA, fiber, protein and important phytoestrogens called lignans. Lignans act on hormone receptor cells to either increase or reduce production of the hormone. A study showed that lignans also reduce androgens in men with prostate cancer.

Flax seeds also balance hormones by stimulating the production of Sex Hormone Binding Globulin (SHBG), a protein found in the blood. SHBG binds to excess estrogen and testosterone molecules to render them inactive. This reduces the hormonal imbalances that cause PCOS and PMS. The fiber in flax seeds also helps in bowel regulation which helps in excreting excess hormones.

Final words

From the above, it is clear that adding more plants and herbs to your diet can help provide the nutrients required for a healthy endocrine system. However, care must be taken when consuming herbs as there are recommended dosages for different people. Herbs can also interact with medication you are taking, so it is a good idea to inform your physician of any herbal supplements you intend to use.

Image source: Pixabay

04 Oct 2017
Going Vegan Tips, Holistic Health, Vegan Fitness
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From Disordered Eating to Plant-Empowered Living Part 5

Young-animal-rights-activist

We ended part 4 with the question, “If you were so passionate about animal rights Ella, why weren’t you out there taking action and protesting?”

To answer, we have to take it back to my middle and high school years. As I kept uncovering the reality of abuse taking place behind the closed doors of not only factory farms, but also science labs, zoos, and circuses, I found more and more ways to speak out for the rights of animals. As I learned the horrific practices of the fur industry, and the merciless methods for testing the safety of laundry detergent, shampoo, and mascara, I set out on a mission to expose the systemic savagery to the masses. [If you haven’t read parts 1–4 of my journey, start from the beginning of my journey from disordered eating to plant-empowered living.]

Ella and Max

You see, in my young mind, I thought that surely if people only knew what was taking place, they would “see the light” and stop supporting the brutality in the name of a meal, a coat, lipstick, or an evening of entertainment. With that logic in mind, I became heavily involved in the animal rights scene. In fact, I was a leader for our local animal rights group. Before I had a license to drive I was organizing protests and leafletting all over town. I was tireless in my quest to be a voice for the voiceless.

What blows my mind today is thinking about the actions I took despite being a painfully shy person. To give you an idea, when I was five years old, my parents would role play with me so that I could practice saying hello to people they introduced me to (my natural reaction was to run and hide). Yet when it came to standing up for my belief in the rights of animals I was fearless.

I didn’t hesitate to organize demonstrations on the streets of Chapel Hill where I would sit inside tiny cages, displaying the cramped conditions of chickens. Chickens who had so little room to move that their feet would grow around the wires of the cage, and whose beaks were chopped off without anesthesia so that they wouldn’t peck each other to death from the stress of their conditions. I never had a second thought about standing on the side of the road, holding signs and chanting in protest of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus. I led campaigns urging L’Oreal and Revlon to stop testing on animals (I would wear anti-L’Oreal buttons to middle school every day and passed out pamphlets to all my classmates and teachers). I traveled to Pennsylvania for an annual pigeon shoot event, where we ran out into the line of fire in the fields in protest of the mass killing.

Bill Rosenberg Award

Bill Rosenberg Award for Animal Liberation

So my answer to the question, “Why weren’t you out there taking action and protesting?”… I was! In fact I even won the Bill Rosenberg Award when I was 16. This award is given each year by the Farm Animal Reform Movement (FARM) to “people under the age of 18 who have made outstanding contributions to farm animal liberation.”

Now I don’t want you to get the idea that I was this young animal rights activist who missed out on her childhood. As a kid I was a competitive swimmer and gymnast and had a great group of athletic friends

Ella Magersas a Teen

I was also your typical teenager in many ways. I went through the awkward adolescent phase like most everyone.  I dyed my hair, dark, gave my parents one-word answers, broke curfew, drank Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill, and went to math class high (what can I say… math was right after lunch!) I met this drug dealer who gave me his brand new, decked out red Jeep Wrangler to drive around for over a year on the condition that I would pick him up and “drive him around” on occasion. (I was sure I could fool the authorities by playing dumb if we ever got stopped.)

Ella Prom

When I quit the volleyball team in 10th grade my relationship with my mom disintegrated with my new pothead status. Before I tell you more about that though, it will help if I give you a little background about my family…I was born in Pittsboro, NC and spent the first four years of my life living in a little log cabin in the woods. I was even potty trained in an outhouse, can you believe it?

My mom was the director of a preschool and my dad was a self-employed stone mason. My older sister, ten years my elder, suffered from mental illness and began self-medicating with drugs when she was just 10 years old. I have few memories of her during my youth, as she spent quite a bit of time in hospitals when she was not running away from home.

When my mom got pregnant with my younger sister, my parents decided it was time to move to Chapel Hill for the quality school system. My dad got a stable job at UNC and I got a real working toilet! I couldn’t be more thankful to have been blessed with two of the most loving, supportive parents imaginable. I mean seriously, when I said, “I’m never eating animals again” at the age of seven for example, they didn’t try to talk me out of it even once they realized it was not a “phase”, that I really wasn’t going to ever eat meat again. Big time parenting brownie points!

Young Ella Magers

My parents divorced when I was fourteen. They held their marriage together as long as they could. I was SO ready for them to separate at that point. For a period of time they tried to figure out how to turn our attic into a separate room with a separate entrance for my dad. Needless to say, it was a relief when we all sat down for “the talk”. Not to say it wasn’t tough. Divorce is never easy, but it was clearly the right move.

Family of Ella Magers

Getting back to the collapse of my relationship with my mom… She was understandably intolerant to drug use in her home due to the struggles of my sister. Being a teenager, I was sure I was immune to addiction and was convinced I could party without negative consequences. Being the strong-willed, determined individual I’ve always been, when my mom gave me the ultimatum of stopping using or leaving her house, I bet you can guess what I chose.Rebel Ella

Moving in with my dad gave me more freedom. He was apt to give me the benefit of the doubt in most situations which worked out for a while. I did not appreciate my dad back then as I do today. Eventually though, I grew up a bit, missed my mom, put my big girl panties on to work things out and move back in. A new beginning that eventually led to the place we’re in today, where I can honestly say my mom is my best friend. And as for my dad, I not only appreciate him today, but I’m also inspired by him and his journey down the path of embodying zen principles to the extent that he now volunteers teaching meditation to death row inmates!

I strongly believe that the strong foundation of unconditional love from my parents and my extreme devotion to animal liberation has saved me from spiraling out of control countless times over the years…

How so? Find out in Part 6!

23 Sep 2017
Holistic Health, Vegan Fitness
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From Disordered Eating to Plant-Empowered Living: Part 4

South-Beach-Culture

Part 3 of my journey left off when I was somewhere around 26 or 27 years old, managing the Flamingo Athletic Club, living it up in South Beach with my Muay Thai crew, while struggling behind closed doors with disordered eating cycles, depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, and insomnia…

Boating Fun

When I put my situation out there like that you’d think I was miserable! But again, when I think back to those days a huge smile takes over my face. In the midst of inner turmoil, I just had SO MUCH FUN! As they say, I am happy I went all out and “got it out of my system” at an “appropriate” age. This could not be said for everyone.

Fast forward to today, when I was chatting with my mom about how I was able to stay grounded in the midst of the craziness. She said to me, “It’s because being vegan is who you are. No matter what you’ve been through, or how easy it can be to get caught up in “the scene”, your foundation as a vegan overpowers all else, and it’s what you have and always will go back to as your rock.” Moms know best!

Somewhere in the mix I had formed a second set of friends from the other gym I trained at. For the longest time I scoffed at most fitness classes where they used light weights and did tons of reps. I believed strongly in the effectiveness of heavy weight training… It went well with my “tough persona”. I actually felt embarrassed at the thought of trying out a class. I kept hearing about this one teacher, Lani, who had a huge following made up of such a diverse fan base that I finally had to check it out.

I hid in the back of the class and we started by doing overhead presses, to the beat of the music, for an entire song without dropping your arms. I was horrified… Everyone else seemed to be getting through it relatively easily. They were having a blast, and I couldn’t make it all the way through the song with THREE pound weights!

This experience hit my “I can do anything” nerve, and that was it. I was addicted to the class and Lani became my fitness idol. I was tough, but Lani was an alpha, ten years older, skilled trainer, super strong, and ironman finisher with self-confidence like no other.

Thanks to Lani my exercise regiment morphed into more of a functional training-based routine. Becoming functionally strong was both humbling and exhilarating. In case you aren’t familiar, functional exercises are ones that translate to movements of daily living. A squat is the perfect example of a functional exercise. How many times a day do we sit down and stand up? That’s a squat! Whereas a leg press, leg extension, or hamstring curl machine have no place in “real life”.

I also found myself oddly attracted to Lani on multiple levels. I looked up to her and admired her skill and confidence, and it morphed into what one might call a “girl crush”. It’s funny because with my Muay Thai crew, we would go out, and I would be, what my one guy friend called, “chick bait.” This meant that I would go over and start talking to hot girls. Then, my guy friends would come by and I would introduce them. On occasion the girls would end up hitting on me though, which, as you can imagine, would really piss my friends off (I thought it was hilarious)!

Ella Night Out

I was a wild, happy drunk. On crazier nights I would make out with girl-friends for fun, which would usually result in free drinks. I wasn’t sexually attracted to women on an intimate level. Kissing and playing around with other girls as part of a night out was simply part of the erotic South Beach culture. It was just fun!

With Lani it felt different though. I think it was in large part because she had such intense male energy. I started working my way up to the front of her classes. You see, she had such an intense group of followers in her class that everyone had “their spot,” and fights would literally break out when someone tried to take someone else’s spot (I’m not exaggerating!)

It took some time and a calculated strategy, but I eventually made it to the front row of class and established my own spot. Lani took notice of me. When she invited me to her birthday, I got butterflies in my stomach, something I hadn’t felt since I met my fiance years back. Lani’s birthday party marked the start of what would become a tight and complicated friendship. Attending the party also opened me up to a whole new world of people and experiences in South Beach. I could write a whole book on this chapter of my story, and maybe I will, but I will save that story for another day.

I haven’t mentioned it, but the whole time I was managing the Flamingo, I was also fitness modeling, doing personal training, and offering my services as a wellness coach who also helped people with diet. Keep in mind that many people were unsure of what vegan even meant at that time.

fitness-modelingI continued to spread the good word by maintaining a strong, lean body. Why did this work? Because women would just see me and say, “I want to look like you… How do you do it?” To which I would reply, “I’m vegan!” This would get some people veg-curious and open to learning more, while others would immediately feel threatened and write me off. Men would ask too, either because they were genuinely curious, or as a way to hit on me. It didn’t matter to me. If I got an opening to talk about being vegan, I took it.

It’s funny, because I barely remember actually training people. Why? I think it’s because people hired me because I had a body they admired. They wanted to build a strong, toned body, and they were willing to workout hard for an hour a day for it.

While they were quick to take my exercise advice, they generally had no interest in changing the way they were eating or even consider moving in the direction of a plant-based diet. My work with them therefore felt superficial. It was a temporary fix. “You can’t outrun your fork” I would relay to deaf ears. I therefore felt resentful that my work started and ended with telling people what exercises to do, counting reps, and throwing out motivating words. This job did not feel satisfying in the least.

You may be asking, “If you were so passionate about animal rights why weren’t you out there taking action and protesting?” Great question. And there is an intriguing answer coming up in Part 5!

14 Sep 2017
Holistic Health, Vegan Fitness
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From Disordered Eating to Plant-Empowered Living: Part 3

Vegan Body-Dysmorphia

I’ll start by setting the scene (where we left off from Disordered Eating to Plant-Empowered Living: Part 2)…

I was in my mid twenties, and if you had asked me back then, “Who are you, Ella?” I probably would have replied, “I’m an ethical vegan number one, and secondly I’m into vegan fitness. I run the show at the Flamingo Athletic Club, managing employees, payroll, class scheduling, and the personal training program. I’m a vegan trainer myself, and spend a lot of my time practicing Muay Thai with my MMA crew and working out. I’m single and have an awesome group of bad ass friends who I go out with and party hard. I’m “living the life” in South Beach!”vegan party girl

What I wouldn’t have told you though, was that I had an underlying yearning to be doing more for animals then just living by example as a vegan (I was the only vegan that I knew at the time). This feeling that I was not living and working my true passion triggered subconscious angst as well as a constant feeling of being unfulfilled.

At the same time, there was a part of me that knew my time to make a significant difference as a passionate vegan was coming. Although the vast majority of people had no interest in going vegan (in fact, many didn’t even know what it meant to be vegan), and very little interest in keeping an open mind to understand the benefits. I continued being vocal about my choice to be a vegan, and put tons of pressure on myself to do everything I could to prove you could be fit, healthy, and strong on plants alone. That was, at the time, the best way I could help bring veganism into the mainstream.

I also would have neglected to mention I had been struggling with chronic depression and anxiety since my teenage years. I wouldn’t have told you that I walked around all day, every day, feeling fat jiggle all over my body, and seeing love handles when I looked in the mirror (keep in mind my body fat stayed well below 10%). I knew logically that I was lean. My BMI was super low and tons of people were asking me daily how I stayed so lean. The logic, unfortunately, did not translate to how I experienced my body.

vegan fun with friendsIn addition, because of the pressure I was putting on myself to be perfect, and the body dysmorphia, I was carefully measuring and monitoring my food intake 90% of the time. Surrounded by protein-obsessed “meat-heads” and personal trainer know-it-alls, I wanted to prove you could get plenty of protein from plants. I had developed what I now call “carb-phobia” and focused on packing in the vegan protein. The other 10% of the time, as a result of the food restricting, I would give in to temptation and binge on vegan food. I remember eating an entire jar of peanut butter one night! And of course binging triggers intense feelings of guilt, shame, and so the cycle continued and I’d be back to restricting to make up for the binging.

Another issue I was facing was that I had developed insomnia over the previous few years. The condition had been getting worse and worse until it got to the point I could never fall asleep without the use of either self-prescribed drugs and alcohol, or hard core sleeping meds the doctor prescribed.vegan mma fighter

The insomnia was, I now believe, caused in part by hormone imbalances that I was creating by my eating and exercise habits, and in part by the stress caused by the pressure i was putting on myself. Stress increases cortisol levels… It’s supposed to. But extra cortisol production is meant to occur in short bursts during times of extreme stress. I had created a system in which I was basically stressed and anxious all the time which created chronically high cortisol levels.

My insomnia was aggrevated by the chronic hightened cortisol. Cortisol levels are supposed to drop in the evening to allow you to fall asleep. When cortisol drops, production of melatonin increases to also help you maintain a regluar sleep cycle. I had destroyed this intricate system. I knew I was in trouble when I decided to experiment and see how long it would take me to get some sleep without the help of meds… 8 days later I was such a zombie I gave up, and I do NOT give up on anything easily!

Looking back, it seems like somewhat of a miracle that I was functioning at all, much less enjoying life. But the truth is, that despite the inner turmoil, I still see those years in my 20s as incredible and unregretable. I was free to explore ME, on my own. As many “issues” as I had, I felt fortunate to be where I was, having started off my life in South Beach with a bad break-up that left me homeless and jobless with only a suitcase to my name!

Muay Thai Vegan Practitioner

The positives: Since moving to Miami I had found another passion (Muay Thai), worked my way up the ladder to a decent job that afforded me a decent apartment, formed several different groups of kick ass friends, taken full advantage of the SoBe party scene, and explored different layers of me as a human being. 

The not-so-positives: I had developed disordered eating habits and body dysmorphia that felt all-consuming at times. I had horrible insomia and couldn’t sleep without drugs and/or alcohol. I was dealing with depression, anxiety, and an overall feeling of unfulfillment. I used Muay Thai as my sole form of “therapy” which meant I felt I was “tough” enough to handle what was going on inside me without sharing.

Can you believe it took me over 12 years to “come out” and talk about my struggles? Being the seriously determined individual I am though, I did not sit by idyl, allowing my life to spin out of control. I’m a problem-solver, and I had quite a number of problems I wanted to solve.

Behind my persistence was a primal drive to be the best person I could be. I had a mission that was far from being fulfilled. I just needed to take care of ME first, so that I could put all my energy into saving animals…

To be continued!

09 Sep 2017
Holistic Health, Vegan Fitness
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From Disordered Eating to Plant-Empowered Living: Part 2

Ella-Body-Dysmorpia

Part 2 of my journey starts in my college years, where the diet mentality kicks in and disordered eating starts to snowball out of control…

Part 2: Journey into Diet La-La Land

[If you haven’t read PART 1 of my multi-part “From Disordered Eating to Empowered Living” series, I invite you to start there.] During my senior year in college at UNC-Wilmington, I became addicted to exercise and ephedra… What a combo! I would take “Diet Fuel” pills and get all my studying done while doing cardio at the local Gold’s Gym.Me at Gold's Gym college years

It was at that gym that I met my later-to-be fiance. Unlike the other boyfriends I had during college, Brent had his shit together. He was several years older than me and owned a gym consulting company. When I graduated, I started working with Brent. Life and gym became synonymous. We would travel to different gyms for 3 months at a time doing consulting work and membership drives.

Ella and Brent

Having an awesome body is the best advertising for anyone working in the fitness industry. Knowing that, I started taking my workouts to the next level. As my workouts became more intense, I started experimenting with my food intake.

Being an ethical vegan, there was never a thought of eating anything but plants, but there were plenty of ways to create dietary “rules” even as a vegan. Vegan protein shakes, consuming tons of soy and legumes, and cutting out grains was do-able. In the tradition of the fitness buff persona, I experimented with being super strict 6 days, and allowing myself one “cheat day” per week. This is a totally “normal” dietary routine for bodybuilders, figure, and fitness competitors, Even though I wasn’t competing at the time, my desire for the “perfect body” was becoming stronger.

My lifestyle supported my obsession with diet and exercise, so I did not look at my habits as problematic. Everyone else was doing it (in their omnivore way) and I felt I fit in. It’s funny because I had spent the previous 8 years emphatic about NOT getting married. All of a sudden though, my life had become so enmeshed with my boyfriend’s and with our work, I started to think marriage wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

Ella Disordered Eating Image

So Brent and I ended up getting engaged, and moving to Miami to open up a new line of women’s health clubs. It didn’t take long for shit to hit the fan… but that’s a juicy story for a different day. Let’s just say we split on bad terms and I all of a sudden found myself in the heart of South Beach without a job and with literally a suitcase to my name.

What came next seems like a whirlwind looking back. Setting the scene, let’s take it back 20 years… I was a 2-year old who was so determined I fought to put on my own diapers. When I was 6, I gave a strong case as to why I should be allowed to drive a car. Needless to say, no matter how upset I was about the break-up, there was no way I was bailing on Miami to take refuse back home in North Carolina.

Long story short, I crashed on my friend’s couch in the huge condo “commune” called the Flamingo in South Beach. Thousands of people lived in this community, ranging from professionals to drug dealers and porn stars. If you ask anyone who has been in Miami Beach for a long time, chances are they started out at the Flamingo. It was in a perfect location right on the bay, with pools, docks, markets, and a super nice gym. So I finagled my way into a job at the gym, starting as a front desk attendant and quickly moving up the chain until I landed the Fitness Director position, pretty much running the show!Muay Thai Vegan Practitioner

During that time I also caught the attention of an MMA world champ, Pat, who was teaching classes at the gym. It was like he could see right through me. No matter what tough front I put on, he saw my emotional weakness and took me under his wing as my Muay Thai coach.

vegan muay thai shins

Pat’s teaching methods were unconventional, though I wasn’t really aware at the time. You see, he didn’t believe in sparring gear. He believed in learning to block punches  and kicks by being punched and kicked enough that blocking became a reflex pretty damn quickly! If you know Muay Thai though, you know that shin on shin blocking is no fun for either party. I took to the training quickly. No amount of physical pain could compete with the emotional pain I was in. Muay Thai became my form of moving meditation. When sparring, I had no choice but to be present in the moment. If my mind wandered, I paid for it! Needless to say it did not wander much after the first few weeks.

Muay Thai Crew

For the first time since high school, I had discovered a sport I could practice with a group of passionate people who became a family to me. In many ways, the next several years of my life were the most exhilarating years of my life. Hangin’ with a group of fighters who ruled South Beach… how could it not? We partied it up and trained hard core. I practically lived at the gym (I had rented a studio at the Flamingo as soon as I had the money).

Vegan party girl

As incredible as those years were, there was a dark side to my life I was not apt to share with anyone. I had taken the feeling of being powerless over my break-up, and found a sense of control through food and exercise. I was working out like crazy between the Muay Thai, classes at Crunch gym, weight lifting, and cardio.

The purpose of the cardio at that time was to burn calories. I wanted to be leaner, but couldn’t see how l  lean I already was. I looked in the mirror and saw fat that simply wasn’t there. I was happiest when my stomach was empty and flat. I measured my oatmeal, set timers to let me know when I was “allowed” to eat, and picked at salads when going out to eat.

Looking back, I qualify myself as experiencing body dysmorphia and disordered eating at that time because my thoughts and anxiety around my body and food felt all-consuming. Whether or not I would have been officially diagnosed as having an eating disorder or body dysmorphic disorder I don’t know because I was not sharing what was going on in my head… And really, who cares. I have no desire to be labeled. It was what it was and, spoiler alert, there’s ultimately a happy end to this story!

Young Fitness Model

At one point I decided to play a game with myself to see if I could drop below 100 pounds. Now that you know more about me, you can probably guess… I won! I remember getting on the scale, seeing 99 pounds, and feeling proud of my achievement. How I was able to maintain a body fat percentage that couldn’t even be measured with calipers, and workout as hard as i did, I really have no idea. But again, leave it to me to prove I could defy the odds!

On that note, I am going to press pause on my story. Part 3 is coming soon, so stay tuned! (If you want to be notified when I publish my posts make sure to sign up to receive my newsletter.)