11 Mar 2019
Empowerment, Guest Blog Posts, Holistic Health, Vegan Lifestyle
Tags: , , , , ,
Leave a comment

10 Foolproof Ways to Be an Awesome Parent

During my 4.5 years of being a mother, I have noticed myself go from, “I am rocking this mom thing” to “I am screwing my child up for life” in a matter of 60 seconds.

I strive (daily) to be a good mother but this is the most challenging job I have ever had and it will be the job I am assigned to for the rest of my life… There is no retirement from parenting.  It is very stressful at times and I lose my cool more often than I like to admit.

I grew up with a screaming parent.  I had decided at a very young age that I would NEVER be that mom.  I wanted my children to feel loved and supported and for their feelings to be validated instead of shunning them for not obeying or losing my temper over their simple curiosity and comedic impulses. I wanted to be that parent who understands that children just want acceptance and hugs.  I read many books about child development and how to be calm, cool and collected at all times in this ever-changing job position.

But this morning, as I was having a screaming war with my son over brushing his teeth before school, I saw his small body trembling with anger and exhausted from the battle and I realized that I have allowed myself to lose sight of who he is… I have allowed myself to fall into patterns of behavior instead of using the tools I have learned about child-parent dynamics… I have allowed myself to be that screaming parent… and I crumbled. My beautiful boy deserves better.

So, I went back to some insights I have accumulated throughout the years to center my thoughts.  I am amazed at the calm I feel just by reading them out loud to myself. I am even more amazed that I have lost sight of so many of these thoughts for one reason or another over time.  My reality of parenting has not been jiving with my intentions and it is time for a check-in:

1)   Good parenting means taking care of yourself first.

Think of it the same as you are taught on an airplane… you must put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can help anyone else.  If you neglect your own body and mind, you are really neglecting your child’s, as well. We cannot give a warm drink to someone with an empty carafe. Eat well, sleep well, exercise your body and take time to breathe and you can go into situations with enough understanding and awareness to make sure everyone wins. (This is something Ella certainly drives home in the Plant-Empowered Coaching Program.)

2)   Being imperfect is absolutely perfect.  

No one is perfect!  How beautiful and freeing that statement feels.  So many children are being taught that being wrong about something holds a bad connotation.  I remember being in school and being terrified to raise my hand because I was afraid of answering incorrectly and (possibly) being ridiculed by my teachers and peers over it.  

As an adult I realize that being wrong is important to learn anything. Do we ever truly learn from being right all the time? Our own focus on perfection trickles down to our children… whether it be about grades, appearance, weight or the like. Just as it is important for adults to know and practice this idea, it is even more vital for children to be comfortable with making mistakes and with being imperfect for their own mental health.  As adults, we can reason on a different level than children, whose brains are developing well into teen-hood. They are more susceptible to allowing negative thoughts about themselves and others to take over their lives.  Teach them that there is nothing wrong with a challenge and to welcome imperfection with a smile.

3)  Being mindful is more important than being in control.

The times when I am fighting for control are the times when I have lost control completely.  When I stop to take a breath to snap out of that space, my body is shaking from anger and my son is either screaming at me or crying because I hurt his feelings.  At that point, it feels like it is too late for this fight to come to a calm conclusion. If I had just opened my eyes to look at him and asked what he needed or wanted, it would have changed the course of the entire situation. Instead, I scoop him up and hold him in my arms and apologize over and over again, allowing the guilt to run so deeply that I ache in my fingertips.

Children’s feelings are often bigger than them and it is our job as the adult to help them to understand their emotions and focus their reactions appropriately.  Next time you feel that pit of anger welling up because your child is doing the exact opposite of what you think he should do… take a breath and walk away so that you can focus on his needs and to help him to work through his feelings.

4)   Take time to play and get in touch with your inner child.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “It is a happy talent to know how to play.”  Embracing the nostalgia of what made childhood so great is all about freedom to just have fun, to be outside, to run wildly, to explore, to play a game, to sing, to dance and to, simply, take time to laugh heartily.

While our idea of fun has changed quite a bit as we have aged, I have never seen a person, at any age, with a frown on her face while doing something she loves.  Play with your kiddo as often as possible… remind yourself what it was like to be that young… embrace it and do it often. Show your mini that you are never too old to have fun.

5)   It’s okay to be late.  

Let’s face it, when you have children, being on-time for anything goes out the window.  IT’S OK! It is not the end of the world and people usually understand (and if they don’t, that’s OK, too).  I am not saying be an hour late and expect that others will let it go… but being ten minutes late is not a make-or-break situation.  Don’t stress yourself and your child out by pushing perfection here.

6)   My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy.

My mother had this sign hanging on the kitchen wall for my entire childhood.  While we always had a clean home, my mother never worried if our toys were in the living room because that meant we were having fun and that was more important to her than having everything in its place at all times.

Before I had my son, I had a rigid cleaning schedule for my home. I even had a calendar to remind me what to clean and when.  I realized very quickly into parenthood that that way of being caused me more anxiety than anything else. I had to let go a bit and know that the “Cleaning Police” were not going to barge into my house and take me away if there was a little dust on the mantle. If there is a choice between spending time with your family or cleaning… choose family and enjoy every minute.

7)   My child loves me unconditionally.  

I am always amazed that, no matter how many times I “mess up” this parenting thing, my son always gives me a kiss and hug before bed. He never holds onto the anger or resents me for my reactions.  He only wants to know that I will always love him, back. He wants my approval, my guidance, my arms to hug him and for me to play with him as often as possible. Children tend to be more forgiving than adults… we should take a lesson from them.  

8)   It’s okay to give in.  

There are times when I ask myself, “Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?”  Not everything has to be something. If it doesn’t matter that much, then don’t make it a bigger deal than it needs to be just to prove a point.  It’s ok to let something go and give in to your child sometimes… you will not ruin him or make him a menace to society if an argument ends with you saying, “You know what? I don’t want to fight anymore… just eat the cookie for dinner and enjoy it.”  Pick your battles.

9)   Children are always testing their wings, not you!  

More often than not, children are trying to see the extent of their own abilities.  They are not purposefully trying to piss you off… it’s not personal. They want to be strong, independent and reach their dreams whether that means wearing the same Superman shirt everyday or climbing to the highest point on the playground.  They don’t know how you feel about the situation and they usually don’t care (children are naturally egocentric… their world is the only world). It’s more about living moment to moment for them rather than whatever consequences will follow.

Take time to explain to them what can happen, or why you are angry, or how they can make better choices rather than yelling at them for not doing something the way you want them to.  They might not always agree or understand, but they will likely feel more loved and respected if you talk with them rather than at them.

10)    I am enough!

There will be plenty of times when you will doubt your abilities and feel like you can do better.  I am a firm believer that the Universe gives us what we need when we need it. Our children challenge us to be better than we’ve ever been before and the Universe would never have done that if it didn’t know that we are ready for it.  You are enough.. in fact, you are more than enough. You are an AWESOME parent!

 

25 Feb 2019
Empowerment, Guest Blog Posts, Holistic Health
Tags: , , , , , ,
Leave a comment

The Journey Back to Me, Embracing My PTSD

I was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in 2014 shortly after the birth of my son. His existence is nothing short of a miracle in the truest sense.   I still feel the sting in my heart and the tears welling up every time I remember the events of that day. It was the best and scariest day of my life.

It’s Time!

It was Memorial Day 2014 at 6:30 am when my fiancé (at the time) informed me that the mild discomfort I was feeling was indeed labor pains.  My mom was sleeping in the guest room in preparation for my due date, so I woke her up and told her it was time. We were all insanely excited that we were finally going to meet this mini-person growing inside of me.  

I was worried that, it being Memorial Day, traffic would be awful during the forty-minute commute to the hospital, but we managed to get there with no delays.  I was checked-in and getting transported to the birthing room by 7:30 am. I was already getting close to full dilation so there was no time for an epidural, which was fine by me since I seemed to be handling the pain easier than I had expected (though that threshold was quickly surpassed and soon I was yelling like every woman does when giving birth- I am not Wonder Woman).  

It was 8 am and the nurse had just told me that we were about ready to push when the alarms started going off on, what seemed like, every machine I was connected to. After that, everything went so fast and seemed like slow motion at the same time.  The doctor came into the room followed by three more nurses and they all worked together to detach machines and whatever else.

The bed began moving out the door and I asked (in a very loud voice), “What is happening? Where are you taking me? What’s going on?”. A nurse was walking next to my bed on the way to the OR attempting to put an IV in my arm while the other nurses spoke medical jargon back and forth.  I just kept repeating, “What is happening? Is my son ok?”. No one answered me for what seemed like an eternity.

We entered the operating room and the doctor looked straight into my eyes and said, “We are knocking you out now. The cord is wrapped around your baby’s neck and he needs to come out.”  After that, they must have knocked me out because my memory is blank.

Lucky to Be Alive?

When I woke up, my fiancé and mother were sitting to my left and the doctor was standing on my right. I felt so confused and everything looked so blurry. The doctor asked me how I felt, and I had no answer… my mouth just wouldn’t open, for some reason.  The doctor said, “Your son is alive in the NICU. As soon as he is stable, a nurse will bring him in. You are both very lucky to be alive.” Those words both relieved me and sunk into my chest like a stone.

He continued to explain that my son was born blue and it took a while to resuscitate him.  He said that, when I am ready, we can talk about the probable issues that my son will face due to the lack of oxygen to his brain for such a long period of time.  

He told me that there were two parts to my own near-morbidity: 1) I had grown a 3lb fibroid along with my son resulting in a twin-like birth and 2) I had suffered a placental adhesion (my placenta attached to my uterine wall and, when it birthed, it ripped the connective tissues).  The combination caused me to lose too much blood resulting in several blood transfusions. I stopped listening after that…the rest is a blur.

When my son was two and a half days old, I saw him for the first time.  He was still on machines, but I was not so the nurse walked me to the nursery to breastfeed him (I was very insistent). I remember the nurse brought me to his crib and he had tubes everywhere. I was afraid to hold him even though the nurse told me I could.

“I’m Not Enough” Sets In

I had heard that a mother feels an instant connection to her child when she breastfeeds for the first time… I did not feel it.  I couldn’t even breastfeed successfully… the nurse had to match my nipple with a tube to give him formula so that he would eat. I wasn’t enough to nourish my baby… I wasn’t enough to give him what he needed. I attributed my disconnection to the two and a half days that had passed before meeting him outside of my womb.

Two hours later, I went back to the nursery to try to feed him again.  I had read that a mother will recognize her baby in a room full of babies and I wished that would be me this time… that the connection would be stronger this time.  When I went to the wrong crib and picked up someone else’s child (the nurse stopped me the moment I picked the wrong baby up), I broke down and felt like a failure immediately… just two and a half days into motherhood.  

The guilt of not having given him a gentle birth and not knowing my only child even after housing him within my body for nine months was overwhelming. All I could think was that not only had my body almost failed me, but it attempted to kill my unborn child and now it feels no connection to him and it won’t let me breastfeed successfully. I hated my body in a fierce way. I hated myself.

The Diagnosis

We finally left the hospital on day five. The next three months were a mixture of intense fears, overwhelming emotions, dramatic reactions, severe nightmares, panic attacks and random, physical pain at extremely inconvenient times. I struggled to breastfeed, and I worried that my son was not gaining weight, so I was at the doctor often.  I was so sure that my child would die from SIDS or some other, unforeseen ailment that I needed to hold him every second to be able to build as many memories of him as possible.

I literally either had him attached to me using the baby pouch or I carried him. I was terrified to let him out of my sight. The one time I let his father stay with him while I went to the grocery store, I broke down crying while getting a grocery cart and I had to return home immediately to pick my son up and bring him with me.  I knew something was off the night I was suffering from the stomach flu and was holding him while vomiting. I was diagnosed three days later.

The Journey Out of Darkness

It has taken years for me to move through my symptoms of PTSD.  It has not been an easy journey and there have been times when my terror has incapacitated me.  It wasn’t until I learned simple tools like “the power of the pause” and “if that, then this” that Ella so insightfully spells out in her Plant-Empowered Coaching Program that I really got hold of my anxiety and irrational fears. I realized that, for my son to live a happy and care-free childhood, I get to channel that energy into positive experiences for both of us.  I am finally able to feel the freedom that comes with being able to rationalize my fears.

I remind myself (often) that I am grateful for my body.  Instead of resenting it for the challenges I faced, I embrace that it held onto my son and prepared him to be the strong boy that he is today.  My body is my ally in every way, always pushing me to overcome adversity. My body allows me to hug and kiss my son and to protect him and that is a gift. Every moment is a precious gift that could have been lost on that beautiful and awful day in May 2014.

Ready to Soar!

My son is now a happy and healthy 4-year-old.  He is within normal range for height and weight and he consistently scores above-average in every physical, emotional and logical test he enters. We try things together that I would never have thought possible… like standing at the seashore enjoying the water on our feet and taking a walk in the woods together.

I have learned that I am enough because I believe in my ability to care for him in every way and to teach him to live boldly. I am a proud mamma and my mini-me is thriving.  We will have adventures together, travel together, laugh together and remind each other how very amazing we truly are, together and apart. I will let him soar when his wings are ready because I know we will both be just fine.

*If you haven’t read Jamie’s first powerful blog post, Mindfully Ever After, check it out HERE!

25 Jan 2019
Empowerment, Guest Blog Posts, Holistic Health
Tags: , , , , , ,
Leave a comment

Mindfully Ever After

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a fair maiden who longed for her prince to whisk her away from her circumstance and help her to live happily ever after.

OK, so “once upon a time” is really about four years ago, “a faraway land” is New jersey, “a fair maiden” is (yep, you guessed it, ME) and I never really longed for a prince to whisk me away, per se… but I did wish to live happily ever after.

I was in the depression of my life.

“Quarter-Life Crisis” hit me in the middle of getting used to being a single mom of a baby, moving across the country, having no job and living on government money, and being extremely overweight and unhealthy.  There is probably a few more details I am skipping, but you get the gist.  I was desolate, confused, hopeless and I felt like it would never change.

I tried my hardest to pick myself up.  I moved in with family, walked outside with my son as often as possible, I cleansed a lot, I did a bunch of yoga and running, I even found a fun job. Things were okay for a couple of months and then… I stopped. I don’t know why… I just stopped.  I felt the burden of the job that I was in, which took me away from my son for twelve and fourteen hours a day, I stopped making time to exercise because I was too tired, and I only found time to eat on the run so my body felt cruddy.

I wanted the change to stick but, like all the years of trying before during each of the, what I call “mini-depressions”, (all of the dieting and cleansing… all of the exercise routines…all of the feeling good) I just stopped every time I started getting the hang of the routine. I knew I had the brains to do it- I reminded myself that I am a college graduate and I worked hard to obtain that.  Yet, I could not get off the cycle.  I hated that piece of myself.  I hated the quitter in me that reared her ugly head every time I started to gain some ground and get my emotions under control.

I was 36 years old and had been doing the same things I had done all of my adult life ~ When life got in the way, I left ME behind.  I always did well at the job I was doing because that mattered more than anything else.  All the other stuff (like taking care of myself) just fell to the wayside.

It took me three more years of listing my grievances with myself until I sat in the emotion.

I stood still and listened instead of spewing out the venomous words of who I imagined myself to be.  I still hated myself for my patterns, but I was finally in a place to begin to accept my faults and move forward.  Instead of trying to control my emotions, I let them do their thing and I just… listened.

After a couple of months of this, I realized that I was ready to try again.  I didn’t know what to do, but I knew something needed to change now. I figured I would begin with food, since that would help me to feel good now. I had been eyeing an add that I kept seeing on my FB page called, “Sexy Fit Vegan” and I decided that it would teach me how to become a vegan, which was a life-goal of mine (living in an Italian family made it tough as resisting cheese was not my strong suit). So, I reached out to Ella Magers and we talked.

Oddly, the discussion about becoming a vegan lasted about eight minutes but the conversation lasted over thirty minutes.  Instead of talking about food, Ella asked me questions about me and who I believe myself to be.

She literally said, “If you want an eating plan, I can send you a book.  If you want a life change, that’s where I can really help.”  I wanted a life change.

After a day of deliberation, I called her back and (hesitantly) told her I wanted in.  Something felt different this time, but I was still so apprehensive considering I was a quitter and I knew that about myself.  I questioned spending more money just to be back in the same place I always wound up in.

I didn’t know what could come of the program, but I figured I would trust the process. After all, the Universe has my back, right?

From day one, I decided to go in it full-force and be “perfect” about it (same habit as always).  I exercised that day… woke up at before dawn and meditated, did yoga and ran.  Then I played with my son and went to work.  During lunch break, I was tired, but I listed to all the module one videos and printed out the materials to begin when I got home.  Can you guess what happened when I got home?  Yep- I had to make dinner, give my son a bath, get myself ready for bed, prepare lunches for the next day and then… I crashed.

The exact same cycle happened for five straight days.  Day six, I skipped the morning meditation, yoga and run to sleep in.  I had already felt like a failure just six days in.  However, I believe myself to be the Queen of Reinvention, so I put my big-girl panties on and tried again.

I decided to take a breath and do it differently this time; start small to get big results.  I began focusing on what mattered instead of trying to be perfect.  This change needed to happen for me this time… not because I wanted to look a certain way or focus on my future self. The change needed to happen to focus on my current self… to be a better me now.

In the next few months, I meticulously worked my way through the modules.  I drank in every bit of wisdom like it was the last water on earth.  I listened intently to the videos, I participated in the check-ins, I did my homework and I began to let go little by little.  Along the way, so much came up that I didn’t even realize was on my heart- and I still did the work.

Along the way, anger boiled within me and sadness took over- and I still did the work.  Along the way, regret and shame came up quite a bit- and I still did the work.  Along the way, I wanted to quit and I even wavered on my ability to handle more- and I still did the work.  Moving away from perfection has allowed me to become my true, authentic self.

Fast forward through six months of letting go, understanding, accepting, getting angry, celebrating, disappointment, and just breathing and I have come to the realization that I am pretty freaking awesome!

I like me… I never really liked me before. And that woman who was always a quitter… I understand her now.

I understand that the obsessive exercising and cleansing and crash diets were simply a band aid.  I understand that waking up at 4:30am to do what “should” be done was not sustainable because she didn’t know why it mattered to take care of herself.  I understand that she was so broken inside that a quick fix was never going to be the answer.  She and I are best friends now and we work together to pick up every little piece one-by-one to weave together our beautiful life quilt.

Sure, along the way, I also became a vegan… but that was not until six months into the program, when I was at a place where I truly let go of the emotions I was holding onto so tightly.

It is only now that I realize that counting calories and weighing food and constant dieting is NOT the way I want to live… it is simply too stressful.  I like eating in alignment with my beliefs and I like feeling good about what I am putting into my body and THAT is why I am a vegan. But I had to clear out a lot of who I thought I was to know who I really am.

And so, she lives… mindfully ever after.

07 Jan 2019
Holistic Health
Tags: , , , ,
Leave a comment

You Do NOT Have to Go to Work Today!

I’m psyched to be delivering some fantastic news…

You do NOT have to go to work today!

Nor do you have to pick your kids up from school, prepare a healthy dinner, or get the oil changed in your car. In fact, you don’t have to do anything!

Okay okay, you’re probably thinking, “What the hell are you talking about Ella?”

Well in case you don’t already know, I am all about helping people get out of victim mode and step into their power.

The Power of Words

We’re big on vocabulary at Vegan Life Coach Academy, and how the language we use can dictate who we think we are, how we move through the world, and what we believe we’re capable of.

So one thing we work on with our members is empowering vocabulary changes… And WOW, let me just tell you that it never ceases to amaze me the difference replacing ONE word or phrase can make in our lives.

Think about how many times a week, heck, a day, that you say, “I have to…”

I have to get out of bed now. I have to go to work. I have to go to the gym. I have to make dinner. I have to go to my kid’s soccer game…

BUT, do you really HAVE TO? Are you being forced? Do you not have a choice? Are you really that powerLESS?

No!

Consider this…

You DO have a choice! You DO have the power to choose what you do and don’t do with your precious time and energy.

Now you may be saying, “Ok yeah, but if I don’t go to work, I’ll lose my job,” or “If I don’t go to the gym I’ll never reach my goals.”

And that all may be true!

But here’s the deal… Are there consequences to your decisions? Of course! You choose not to go to work and you’ll probably get fired. You choose to grab fast food instead of making a healthy dinner, you’ll probably feel like crap. You get the idea?

So where are you right now… Are you a victim to your schedule, or are you empowered by what you choose to do with your time?

And you know, it’s not only about understanding these types of powerful mindset shifts, but also putting them into use every single day until they become second nature. And having a structured process with consistent individual and group coaching, accountability, and peer support is part of the formula that makes Vegan Life Coach Academy such a huge success for our Visionaries members.

So, I’m challenge you to own your schedule by replacing the phrase, “I have to,” with one of the following:

  • “I choose to”
  • “I get to”
  • “I’m grateful to be able to…”
  • “I’m fortunate I have the opportunity to….”

And why stop there?

The concept that we have control over our what we do with our time and energy can be applied to every aspect of our lives.

We all have the same number of hours in our day (I believe that number is “not enough”), so we have to constantly prioritize, which is often done without a second thought.

But by saying, “I choose to…” we are forcing ourselves to prioritize our time with intention. Pretty cool if you really think about it, huh?!

Most of the clients I work with are used to taking care of everyone else’s needs before their own. I call it “People-Pleasing Syndrome” and I am definitely a recovering people-pleaser myself! Are you?

But here’s the deal…

Putting our own needs last may seem unselfish, but it’s actually the opposite. You simply cannot serve others to the best of your ability if you’re not taking care of yourself… Not to mention the underlying resentment that undoubtedly forms when you’re exhausted and overwhelmed.

So it’s time to not only replace “I have to” with “I choose to,” but also start to prioritize self-care.

I know, I know, so much easier said than done (which just means that the time to start working on changing this pattern is NOW)!

What will you do, starting TODAY to consistently take better care of yourself? Start with just one activity to add to your routine, whether it be a dance class or just 30 minutes quiet time to read. Put it in your calendar and follow through with your commitment to yourself. (If you’re like our clients, your great at keeping your commitments to everyone but yourself.)

Want support?

Our Empowered Vegan Life Facebook group is a fantastic, free, space for connecting with other like-minded people, and getting and giving valuable support. So if you haven’t joined yet, get into action and join HERE now.

Looking forward to connecting with you there!

28 Dec 2018
Empowerment, Guest Blog Posts, Holistic Health, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,
Leave a comment

How to Instantly Become a Sexy Fit Vegan

There it was… A comment on my Facebook post.  An unsolicited, petty cut on my generally upbeat, self-deprecating Facebook page.

“You aren’t my perception of a Sexy Fit Vegan…”

My first thought?

F*CK OFF.

And this is where I earned my crown as a Sexy Fit Vegan.  Now, I know that vulgarities generally don’t inspire regal images.  But, here I am, nonetheless, A Sexy Fit Vegan Bad Ass Queen.

The struggle to earn this has not been easy.  I have lived much of my adult life avoiding all criticism, insult, and slights.  Just a short time ago, my inner response wouldn’t have been nearly so bold. I would have found myself locked in self-doubt and punishment for days upon days because that comment would have only served to validate my own beliefs about myself.  I believed I wasn’t good enough to be sexy, fit, or vegan. Frankly, my daily life was an exercise in how invisible I could be.

And then, it all changed.

I was watching my daughter look at herself in the mirror, pulling at her clothes, tears in her eyes because she hated her new body and the curves that were springing in places that had been flat just months before.  She had previously been filled with self-confidence…more than self-confidence…a fearlessness that is uncommon in most humans I have known. At her core , that is just who she is: Brave and bold is the way she was born.

Now I watched her and realized I was watching myself.  She had learned this from me. She was putting aside her natural courage and confidence to play small, just like me.

No, I had never verbally criticized my body in front of her, but I didn’t have to. My years of striving to be invisible had spoken for me. And here it was…my legacy landed on my beautiful, fearless, bold daughter.  And the younger one was watching too.

And so, that day, I decided to love my body.

And, here’s how I did it:

  1. I acted.  I didn’t think.  I didn’t feel. I acted.  I invested in myself. I connected with Ella and the Plant Empowered Coaching Program.  I threw away all that I thought I knew about meal plans and exercise and micros and calories.  I trusted the process. I let it take me where I needed to go.
  2. I became relentless with the thoughts that weren’t serving me.  I chipped away at that belief that I wasn’t enough with evidence that I am MORE than enough and never too much.  I dug into the powerful self-coaching that Ella has so masterfully honed. I stepped back with curiosity and compassion to view these beliefs from a new perspective, and then I went to work becoming the master of my thoughts.
  3. I fully engaged in a vegan life.  These are my values. I could no longer put junk and suffering in my body.  I could no longer live in a way that didn’t fit with what I knew to be true for the sake of others’ comfort.  I had to live my values in the ultimate act of self-love.
  4. I began treating my body as I would treat anyone I love.  I made decisions about nutrition and movement out of a place of love.  I wouldn’t feed my children Mountain Dew and Doritos for supper, so why would I do this to myself?  I wouldn’t let my children miss a sports practice for a game that they love, so why would I miss a workout?  I wouldn’t allow anyone to speak unkindly to my children, so why would I allow me to do that to myself?

Somewhere along the way, I began to realize that I wasn’t just acting or deciding. I was believing. I no longer wanted to hide. My butt is still big. I have a mommy tummy.  My arms still jiggle. And I am fierce and loved. Not beautiful for a big girl. Not just a pretty face.  I am fully alive and engaged and independent and strong with all my curves and every imperfection. I am a Sexy Fit Vegan who makes decisions based in love of the body I have TODAY, not the one I might have tomorrow.

When I decided to love my body, my girls decided to love theirs.  Not long ago, the three of us decided to go shopping for new jeans.  We were in the checkout line, and a woman approached me. She said something every mother longs to hear, “You’re doing it right.” She went on, “ You and your girls are laughing and admiring your butts in the mirror.  Mine is still in the dressing room crying. You’re doing it right.”

And, you know what? I am. Now, I talk about how a banana and spinach make me feel alive in the morning. Now, I discuss what a badass I am after my kickboxing workout. Now, I look in the mirror and say out loud, “Damn, Girl!”  I am the example for my girls, not just the voice that tells them they’re beautiful. I’m the example that their own voices are the most important, truly, the only ones that matter

I watched this play out in another way just after that Facebook comment.  You see, I’ve taught my daughter something else through my actions. I’ve taught her to love herself enough to not engage in self-doubt because of someone else.  She had her first, young love break up this week. And when this little boy decided to dump her through text without explanation, her response was to say, “Grow some balls.”  Not, “What is wrong with me?” Not, “Why am i not good enough?” It was, “Grow some balls.” That’s my fearless, beautiful, bold girl!

So, forgive my sailor’s mouth when I say that one of my proudest accomplishments of this decade has been to respond to outside critics with “Fuck off”.  I am a Sexy Fit Vegan. I say that without apology or caveats.

My body continues to respond to my love, and if I never lose another pound I am still a Sexy Fit Vegan. I am fit and sexy and plus size and vegan. And another’s perception of what a Sexy Fit Vegan is simply makes no difference.  The fact is, no one gets to decide if I am a Sexy Fit Vegan but me.

31 Jul 2018
Animal Rights, Environmentalism, Going Vegan Tips, Holistic Health, Wellness Business
Tags: , , , , ,
Leave a comment

Why I Chose “Sexy Fit Vegan®”

I’ve been getting some push-back on the name of my brand recently. With comments on my Facebook posts like, “Why sexy?” and “Your a fraud, just trying to use sex to make money!”

I’d like to take a moment to address this criticism…

Many of you already aware that I knew from the age of 7 that my purpose in life is to save animals by spreading awareness about the cruelty that takes place behind the closed doors of factory farms. As a child, I thought, “If only people knew, they would surely quit eating animals!” I soon realized that it was, unfortunately, a bit more complicated than that.

I started to understand that people have been conditioned from birth to believe dogs are worthy of our love, while pigs are meant to be tortured, killed and consumed. Cats are worthy of sleeping in bed with us, while cows deserve to have their throats slit so we can eat their flesh. Dolphins are beautiful, to be ooh-ed and ah-ed at, while tuna are meant to be captured, canned, and consumed.

I also came to understand that many people do not WANT to know. Why? “Ignorance is bliss” right? Once you know you can’t not know. You no longer have the “excuse” of ignorance and must take responsibility for your choices. 

I created my brand, Sexy Fit Vegan®, in 2013, when the truth about animal agriculture (both the ethical and health aspects) started being covered in the mainstream media. The information I had been sharing with people for years, was finally being exposed in ways that could not be ignored.

The mission of my brand was clear. Bring veganism into the mainstream. So yes, my thought was, “What can I name my brand that will get people’s attention?”

The word “sexy” catches people’s eye. It does draw people’s attention, probably more than any other word in the English language. Given that catching people’s attention was my goal… Sexy Fit Vegan® it was! I was beyond excited to start building my life and work around what I’m most passionate about… veganism.

I did think about what the word “sexy” meant to me before choosing it. I’ve always considered myself a feminist. I had a mom who taught me that I could do anything I put my mind to. I’m grateful that my parents gave me the space and support I needed to figure out what was important to me.

When choosing my brand name, I thought, “What happens when I’m older? Will I no longer be a sexy fit vegan?” I quickly answered myself, “Hell yeah, I’ll be a sexy fit vegan until the day I die!” Here’s why…

True sexiness is a matter of how you feel in your own skin. It has nothing to do with other people’s opinions about your appearance. Feeling sexy starts from within.

I thought about how amazing it feels to align your actions with your true values. I considered how powerful it feels to move through the world fight for what you believe in. For me, that was a fight for the end of animal exploitation. Now THAT feels sexy to me!

Not to mention the fact that we’re human beings, and sex is a part of life. It’s part of our identity. Sex is not something to feel shameful about. So why is the word “sexy” sexist? It’s not! There is nothing wrong with striving to feel sexy!

I love what my friend and Plant-Empowered Coach, Stephanie said as we were discussing this topic. “I think it’s time that women embrace that their sexual energy is a part of their wholeness. It’s time to own the fact that being an empowered female is inherently sexual.” Males are certainly proud of their sexual energy… Why should females not be proud of theirs?

Feeling sexy is not only okay, it’s liberating!

That being said (full disclosure here), my immediate reaction to those who criticized me for using the word “sexy” in my brand, without bothering to get to know me and what I’m all about, was “F**k you!  I’ve been vegan for 24 years and have worked my whole life to make a positive impact in this world.

I use a tool I teach in the Plant-Empowered Coaching Program we call “the power of the pause” to take a step back, observe that F-You thought, and recognize that it will not contribute to my cause in any positive or productive way. Hence why I’m writing and sharing this instead!

I’ve learned that part of being a leader is having critics (a.k.a haters), and part of being a good leader is accepting that some people simply aren’t going to “get it,” and that’s okay!

My entire life is focused on empowering women with the tools they need to love themselves, overcome shame, live according to their values, and build a meaningful life, through my 6-Month Plant-Empowered Coaching Program.

A meaningful life involves using your strengths and skills to make a positive impact in this world, and there is nothing sexier than that!

16 Jul 2018
Guest Blog Posts, Holistic Health, Vegan Nutrition, Vegan Recipes
Tags: , , ,
Leave a comment

The Power of Plants: Superfoods You Should Not Miss


All fruits, veggies, herbs, seeds, and nuts deserve a place in our diet, but the truth is: some are simply better than others. You probably already have many of them in your kitchen – from the famous blueberries, kale, and chia seeds to the all-powerful turmeric. There’s even an entire vegan cookbook (probably my favorite) to inspire you to use these extraordinary ingredients aka superfoods. 

However,  there are some lesser known ones which have been around for ages and hold tremendous power when it comes to nutrition and medicine. So I’ve put together a list of the best superfoods that haven’t risen to fame, but definitely should. And don’t worry – although exotic, they can be found online or in some specialty stores in various forms.

Indian gooseberry

You’ve probably heard all about the antioxidant-rich acai. Well, here is something that has over twice the antioxidants! The fruit of the Indian gooseberry tree has been used for thousands of years in Ayurvedic medicine and is, in fact, still used today. Aside from its amazing antioxidant potency and other beneficial properties, it’s also known to help treat high cholesterol, diabetes, upset stomach, joint pain, osteoarthritis, to reduce pain and swelling caused by inflammation, etc.

The plant is not commercially cultivated in most parts of the world, but thankfully, it’s available online and in Indian grocery stores in powder form – just look for Amla powder. You can sprinkle the powder onto your meals and smoothies. 

Sorghum 

Sorghum is an ancient grain originating from Africa, and like most grains, it can be prepared in numerous ways – cooked, ground into flour, malted, or even to make sorghum popcorn. But what makes it better is that it is gluten-free, allergies to it are rare, and its nutritional benefits are pretty impressive. For one, it’s an excellent source of protein – it has similar protein content per calorie as quinoa, but it’s cheaper. 

It’s rich in nutrients like most grains, but its ORAC value – which is the measure of antioxidant content per 100g – is quite impressive, especially in comparison to other grains. White sorghum has an ORAC value of 2200, the red variety has 14000 and black is the highest, with a value of 21000. For measure, kale has an ORAC value of 1770 and blueberries have 4669. 

Tulsi

This herb, also known as Holy Basil (but not your regular basil, mind you) is another marvel and mystery of Ayurvedic medicine. It’s considered a sacred plant in the Hindu religion and the word Tulsi means “the incomparable one”. That’s because it has numerous benefits and medicinal powers, from protecting against diabetes and cancer to being used to treat pink eye due to its anti-inflammatory properties. But what’s making holy basil incredibly valuable in the modern day and getting it more attention from the scientific community are its adaptogenic properties.

Adaptogens are metabolic regulators which increase the body’s ability to (as the moniker suggests) adapt to physical and emotional stressors from the environment. Unsurprisingly, adaptogens are getting a lot of buzz lately, as we search for natural ways to cope with stress. Thus, natural adaptogens are used in supplements to balance hormones by reducing cortisol levels and promote a healthy stress response. Tulsi is an important ingredient in most of these supplements, and it can also be used in tea. 

Bacopa monnieri

Also going by the name of Brahmi, this creeping herb is another traditional adaptogen. The herb is rich in bacosides, which are chemical compounds that can repair damaged neurons and improve nerve impulse transmission, as some studies show. Thus, it is considered one of the top foods for boosting mental health and its long-term consumption is linked to improving memory, cognitive function, and mood.

But wait, there’s more: it’s also been shown to boost respiratory and digestive health, which might come as no surprise when you consider the connection between the gut flora and mental health. 

Natto

This fermented soybean food is prominent in the Japanese diet, but it has yet to gain popularity in Western households. So far, you might have encountered it in vegan sushi when dining out. Natto is very valuable for its high content of pyrazine, a compound which can prevent blood clots since it acts as a natural blood thinner. Thus, it’s an important dietary addition for anyone at risk of developing heart disease. It’s also rich in vitamin K (for maintaining bone density) and selenium, a powerful antioxidant that helps prevent cancer. However, be prepared: natto has a very pungent smell and a strange, cheese-like taste that takes getting used to. That’s why a wide number of people prefer to consume it in capsule form, but it is important to consult a physician first, especially if you are taking anticoagulants or other herbs that help thin the blood. 

So, there you have it – under-the-radar plants and herbs holding impressive power. Now, as it goes with nutrition, nobody can guarantee you that you’ll reap all the benefits because there are numerous other lifestyle factors to consider. There are, however, various studies that point to the benefits of these plants, some of which I have included in this article, and the fact that some have been used in traditional Eastern medicine definitely does hold value. At the end of the day, when you’re choosing which to incorporate into your diet – and how – it’s good to do your own research to get all the details and suggestions. Nutrition can help us reach deeper levels of wellbeing, and you might just be surprised to what extent it goes. 

 

 

28 Mar 2018
Guest Blog Posts, Holistic Health, Vegan Nutrition
Tags: , ,
Leave a comment

Why You Need Probiotics in Your Diet

Keeping your belly happy is an essential part of keeping your body healthy.

We all try our best to eat a healthy diet — getting enough of the three macronutrients (fats, carbohydrates and protein) and a sufficient amount of the necessary vitamins and minerals for a healthy life. One thing many of us neglect is our gut health — the bacteria that call our digestive system home to help us break down and absorb our food.

What can you do to improve your gut health and why do you really need probiotics in your diet?

What Affects Your Gut Health?

First, let’s take a look at your gut bacteria. No one likes to think about their gut being filled with bacteria, but these little microscopic organisms play a vital role in digestion. A number of things can negatively affect your gut health, including:

  • Eating too much of the same thing — If you eat the same thing all the time, you’ll create an environment that only supports a specific type of bacteria. Eat more diverse foods to start healing your gut health.
  • Lack of healthy fiber in your diet — Healthy fibers, known as prebiotics, help to promote the growth of healthy gut bacteria.
  • Drinking Too Much Alcohol — Alcohol in moderation can be good for your health, but drinking too much can unbalance your gut bacteria.
  • Taking Antibiotics — Antibiotics are necessary, but while they kill the bacteria making you sick, they’ll also kill your healthy gut bacteria.

This is a small sample of the things that can play a role in your gut health.  What can you do to ensure a healthy crop of gut bacteria?

What Are Probiotics?

We are constantly bombarded by food advertisements for things like saurkraut and kimchi claiming that these foods are filled to the brim with healthy probiotics, but what actually are probiotics?

Probiotics are defined as good bacteria that are similar or identical to the healthy bacterium that already exists in your body. Introducing these bacteria into your digestive system can help to repair the balance of bacteria in your gut. They can be found in foods or in supplements available for purchase at your local health food store.

Where Can I Find Probiotics?

Without taking supplements, what can you do to add more probiotics to your diet?

  • Enjoy some German food — Specifically, eat some sauerkraut. The fermented cabbage that is a staple of German cuisine is also a great source of natural probiotics. Make sure you’re not getting pasteurized sauerkraut though — that kills the healthy bacteria. It’s still tasty, but it’s not as good for your gut.
  • Eat some coconut yogurt — You can’t have coconut yogurt without bacteria. For the best results, look for coconut yogurt labeled as containing active cultures.
  • Head to Japan — Miso, a staple in Japanese cuisine, is another great source for probiotics. Miso is made from fermented soybeans and makes a great appetizer or soup.
  • Indulge in Kombucha — This fermented tea might sound gross, but it’s packed full of bacteria good for your gut. Some people even swear it helps to give them more energy or lose weight, but in general it’s a great source of healthy gut bacteria.

Most fermented foods have a high amount of good bacteria. Tempeh, an Indonesian soy food is another great option if you can find it. It can be hard to get authentic tempeh in the United States due to FDA regulations regarding pasteurization.

Why Do I Need Probiotics?

Why do you need to focus on keeping up with your gut health and adding probiotics to your diet? There are more than a few reasons why you should consider adding some healthy probiotics to your diet.  Our favorites include:

  1. You should trust your gut. You’ve actually got neurotransmitters in your gut, like in your brain. If your gut is out of whack, it can negatively affect your brain’s neurotransmitters. There are some studies right now looking at an unbalanced gut as a possible cause for Parkinson’s disease.
  2. It strengthens your immune system. Studies have found that having a healthy cross-section of gut bacteria contributes to a stronger immune system. It can even help with cancer treatments by improving chemotherapy effectiveness and stopping malignant tissue growth.
  3. They help to speed up your metabolism. While probiotics might not be the secret weapon for easy weight loss, having a healthy gut can help speed up your metabolism making it easier to lose weight.
  4. It might help fix your bad breath. If you keep up with your brushing and flossing regimen and your oral health is otherwise good, but you still suffer from bad breath, it might be coming from your gut. Healthy gut bacteria can help to reduce your chances of suffering halitosis.

 

With all these benefits that are either directly or indirectly related to your gut health, what are you waiting for? Head to the store, change up your diet and add some healthy fermented foods to your shopping cart. Good probiotics can help get your gut back in balance, improving your overall health and wellness with just a few cups of Kombucha.

25 Oct 2017
Going Vegan Tips, Holistic Health, Vegan Fitness
Tags: , , , , ,
Leave a comment

Top 2 Reasons Yogis are Going Vegan in 2017

yogis going vegan

It’s easy to leave our yoga practice behind on the mat, but for a truly integrative approach to health and spirituality, more and more yogis are going vegan.

Because of the belief in ahimsa, non-violence, and karma, the idea that all of our thoughts and actions have a reaction in the universe, many people of the Hindu faith have been choosing a vegetarian lifestyle for thousands of years. Today yogis are taking up this ancient practice to benefit their health and enact compassion.

The health benefits of a plant based diet can’t be denied anymore. A diet low in cholesterol, which a vegan diet naturally is, and high in fiber can do wonders for your heart health, especially when combined with yoga. If you have a family history of heart disease, a vegan diet is something you should seriously consider. Yoga teaches us to honor our bodies and be mindful of how our choices affect us. Once you become deeply in tune with your body, you’ll realize how certain foods affect you. Do you feel sluggish after eating meat for lunch? Do you break out after eating cheese? These are some questions you should ask yourself to get in touch with how meat and dairy are affecting your body.

The other main reason so many yogis choose to become vegan is because of their ethics. Yoga instills in us a sense of stewardship of the world around us. In 2017, we need to make a serious commitment to the health of our planet. Of all of the ways that we damage the environment, livestock production is one of, if not the worst way. When 1 in 10 people don’t have access to clean drinking water, it’s a hard fact to swallow that livestock productions uses 1/3rd of Earth’s fresh water, while contributing to much of its pollution. And if you’re worried about deforestation, livestock production is one of the biggest contributing factors.

Yoga encourages us to recognize our connection to all living creatures. Once we take this message into our hearts, it’s hard to accept that you are inflicting pain on another creature for your own momentary satisfaction. And it isn’t just the animals that suffer in torturous conditions. In the US, workers in the meat industry face some of the most unsafe working conditions in the country.

One of the fundamental beliefs of yoga is that our mental, physical, and spiritual health are all connected. Through yoga, we try to care for all of these aspects at once. Don’t undo the progress you made on your mat once you open your refrigerator; take your practice of mindfulness into the kitchen instead. If being a vegan isn’t for you, that’s okay! You can still spend some time thinking about what you’re eating, whether it was sustainably sourced, and what it will do to your body. Regardless of what you decide, the best way to be a good yogi at the dinner table is to feel gratitude for whatever it is you have the privilege of eating.

11 Oct 2017
Guest Blog Posts, Holistic Health, Vegan Nutrition
Tags: , , , ,
Leave a comment

Top 5 Plants for Hormone Balance

Plants-for-Hormone-Balance

Many plants have hormone-balancing properties, and consuming them can be helpful if you’re experiencing symptoms related to imbalances.

Hormones are our bodies’ chemical agents for regulating the various biological functions. However, sometimes the endocrine glands that produce these hormones don’t perform at optimum levels, causing hormonal imbalance. This can happen due to disease, environmental factors, diet and lifestyle factors. Hormonal imbalances often go undetected, but over time, they produce undesirable symptoms.

There are various medical treatments to correct hormonal imbalance, but a natural approach is usually safer, less costly and more sustainable. Certain plants and herbs are renowned for their positive influence on the endocrine system by providing vital nutrients for the optimal function of endocrine glands. In this article, we share five plants that are good for hormonal balance.

Avocados

avocado for hormone balance

Healthy fats are essential for hormone function. While most people get enough Omega-6 fatty acids from cooking oils and animal proteins, they are often deficient in Omega-3 fatty acids. These fats are the building blocks of hormones, and a healthy ratio of the two types is required.

Avocados provide an inexpensive and versatile source of Omega-3 fatty acids and celebrities such as Gwyneth Paltrow swear by their benefits. They also contain potassium, folic acid, magnesium, vitamin E and some B-vitamins. These micro-nutrients all aid in hormone regulation.

In particular, avocados promote the production of progesterone, which regulates the menstrual cycle and pregnancy. They also inhibit estrogen absorption which can increase the risk of certain cancers and osteoporosis when produced in excess.

Maca Root

Maca or Lepidium meyenii is a turnip-like plant that grows in high altitude areas such as the Andes Mountains in Peru. The root of this plant is consumed as a vegetable and is said to have many health benefits that even celebrities such as Miranda Kerr can’t resist. Besides its energy boosting ability that is said to have made it a diet staple for Incan warriors, maca root is famous for its hormone balancing qualities.

Maca contains several nutrients including vitamins A. B2. B6, and C plus minerals including zinc, copper, iron, magnesium, potassium, iodine and calcium. It also contains plant sterols that stabilize estrogen, progesterone and testosterone production.

Maca is categorized as an adaptogen which means it regulates the action of different hormone glands including adrenal glands, pituitary gland, and the hypothalamus. Maca root is a celebrity favorite is available in powder form, which may be raw or gelatinized. Adding maca powder to your diet can help relieve PMS and menopause symptoms, stabilize blood glucose levels, regulate thyroid function, increase sperm production, among other benefits.

Beans

black-beans

Beans are another common and affordable plant food that can help balance your hormones. They are a natural solution for low testosterone because they contain vitamin D and zinc. They also contain folate, proteins, potassium, iron, and magnesium. Studies have shown that adequate consumption of Vitamin D increases testosterone levels. Zinc is also known to boost the testosterone levels. Beans also hormone production in the body. Beans also help female hormone imbalance by regulating estrogen production and reducing symptoms of the polycystic ovarian disorder (PCOS). There are many different types of beans including black, garbanzo, mung, black, kidney, pinto, red, Roman and navy beans.

Chasteberry

The fruit of this herb is also known as vitex or agnus castus. This dried herb is useful in the treatment of various female hormone imbalance related diseases. These include amenorrhea, PMS, dysmenorrhea, fibrocystic disease, endometriosis, uterine fibroids, and infertility.

Vitex works on the hypothalamus and pituitary gland to regulate the production of Luteinizing Hormone, Follicle-Stimulating Hormone, prolactin, and progesterone. For men, vitex can help treat enlarged prostates and inhibit prostate cancer cells proliferation.

Flaxseed

These small, black seeds contain an omega-3 fatty known as ALA, fiber, protein and important phytoestrogens called lignans. Lignans act on hormone receptor cells to either increase or reduce production of the hormone. A study showed that lignans also reduce androgens in men with prostate cancer.

Flax seeds also balance hormones by stimulating the production of Sex Hormone Binding Globulin (SHBG), a protein found in the blood. SHBG binds to excess estrogen and testosterone molecules to render them inactive. This reduces the hormonal imbalances that cause PCOS and PMS. The fiber in flax seeds also helps in bowel regulation which helps in excreting excess hormones.

Final words

From the above, it is clear that adding more plants and herbs to your diet can help provide the nutrients required for a healthy endocrine system. However, care must be taken when consuming herbs as there are recommended dosages for different people. Herbs can also interact with medication you are taking, so it is a good idea to inform your physician of any herbal supplements you intend to use.

Image source: Pixabay