10 Tips for Transitioning That Will Save Your Relationships (EP 25: The Vegan Life Coach Podcast)

 If going vegan has put a strain on your current relationships or you want to avoid ruining your relationships as you transition to a vegan lifestyle these ten power tips are sure to help. 

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


Going vegan and obtaining the support of friends and family is a common struggle for many who make the choice to live a vegan lifestyle. On last week’s episode Stephanie shared her story of going vegan and broke down the 5 stages that family and friends go through. 

Today Stephanie is giving 10 tips for transitioning that will save your relationships. If going vegan has put a strain on your current relationships or you want to avoid ruining your relationships as you transition to a vegan lifestyle  these ten power tips are sure to help. 

Stephanie discuss these tips in depth in this episode: 

  1. Define your boundaries.  Once Stephanie committed to veganism, she decided she was no longer going to or cook meat. 
  2. Talk about going vegan and answer questions.  Stephanie decided to use a lot of I-statements to demonstrate that she was taking responsibility for her own choices. Often times talking about veganism can challenge the way people see themselves as ethical, whole, compassionate human beings. So she plans ahead for these moments when she will be asked questions.
  3. Have a sense of humor. Because Stephanie is able to laugh at herself she believes that really rebunks that stereotype of the angry, raging vegan. And thus laughing about these things becomes easier for my family and for my relationships. Most vegans will be the victims of malicious jokes, Stepahnie says, but generally the people in our lives are really just poking fun.
  4. Get educated about nutrition for yourself and your kids. And this is the right spot for you. This program was the foundation for Stepahnie’s nutritional metamorphosis for my family. There are tons of great cookbooks and resources out there. Getting educated about nutrition is not only good for you. It’s good for your kids. And it’s good for that mom guilt too. When Stephanie knows that what she’s putting in front of her kids is nutritionally sound, then she knows that without a shadow of a doubt that mom guilt can not creep in. And if it does, she can challenge it at every level.
  5. Keep it simple. Especially if you’re cooking for a family. When Stephanie’s family got curious, she  started with breakfast smoothies. Now everyone gets a smoothie for breakfast. 
  6. Stop preparing two completely different meals. You are not a restaurant.  When Stephanie went vegan she started preparing one dish and it was always a vegan main dish. She was okay with them adding animal protein to the side themselves. but she stopped saying she was going to prepare what everybody’s dish was. She wasn’t a short order cook. 
  7. Veganize your favorite dishes. Stephanie suggests exploring new dishes with familiar flavors. One of her families favorites? Stir-frys, and mexican food. 
  8. Honor other people’s gestures and be flexible without compromising your values. Stephanie says to be appreciative of the steps that people take that might help you feel included and comfortable. Make a really big deal out of it. The one gesture Stephanie does that has never failed her? Telling her friends and family how much she loves to cook and offering to bring whatever they’d like her too. 
  9. Connect with other vegan families. Stephanie has a a great Facebook community in her local area that has meetups and suggest finding on in your local area to connect with others who are like-minded and whose beliefs are similar. 
  10. Promote vegan role models, especially if you have kids. Stephanie sees the importance to introduce her children to people that they can look up to in all aspects of their lives. 

We hope these 10 tips are useful for you and your family. We encourage you to take an honest account of where you are in your own journey and where your loved ones might be in theirs. Accept where you’re powerless and challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening because that’s really where your power is in your own response to what’s going on around you. Use these tips as you transition to navigate the tough terrain of relationships with family and friends. 

 


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach Academy


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Going Vegan: When Your Family or Friends Aren’t on Board (EP 24: The Vegan Life Coach Podcast)

Based on a recent survey we did with our listeners, going vegan without the support of your family or friends is a struggle that a lot of people share.

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


Based on a recent survey we did with our listeners, going vegan without the support of your family or friends is a struggle that a lot of people share.

My story is exceptional in that I knew when I was just 7 years old that eating animals was a hard “No.” It didn’t matter to me one bit that nobody I knew was vegetarian. At 15 I fully understood the suffering of all farm animals and went fully vegan and knew my purpose in life was to save animals. My compassion for animals ran so deep that ridicule was not a deterrence. (My family followed in my footsteps and went vegetarian and then vegan as well!)

Stephanie however, represents our listeners to a much higher level. In this episode, Stephanie shares her personal story, discussing what went down each of the 4 times she attempted to make the transition to a vegan lifestyle. It took 4 attempts before it stuck, and she has dissected the reasons why, all of which are likely to resonate with others in similar positions.

In short, here are the reasons:

Attempt #1: Stephanie’s family was quick to remind her that she was raised by farmers, and that her family’s background in farming was how she was afforded a comfortable upbringing. Family guilt!

Attempt #2: Stephanie’s Insecurity as a new mom, being told by others that her children would not thrive on a plant-based diet, led her to succumb to “mom-guilt!”

Attempt #3: Stephanie’s overall lack of self-confidence caused her to give into what was comfortable and safe. She wasn’t confident in her choices, and wasn’t able to counter the criticism and ridicule from others from a place of compassion and education. 

Attempt #4 (Success!): Here are the self-realizations as to WHY Stephanie was successful…

  1. Stephanie realized that her relationships are equally important as her life choices. She concluded that other’s thoughts and feelings about her choices are not important, BUT her relationships ARE important. This is a distinction that takes a lot of self-awareness and self-confidence!
  2. Stephanie realized that she was the one changing the rules, so she was required to fuel her own progress with empathy toward the people in her life, giving up the idea of perfection in relationships. There were going to be tough conversations, and she was able to be assertive instead of aggressive.
  3. She was able to embrace a vegan lifestyle with the consideration of being the caretaker of her three kiddos. She was able to set boundaries and not succumb to handle her “mom guilt.” She had to step back and explore her conflicting feelings with, as we say in VLCA, approach her thoughts with curiosity and compassion. From that place she has been able to navigate the changing dynamics within her family.
  4. Stephanie made the transition solely about herself. She went vegan in “stealth mode,” didn’t make a big announcement until she had established her vegan lifestyle with confidence.

Once she felt good about her own journey, Stephanie started sharing her new lifestyle with her family and friends.

In doing so, she noticed that most of the time, people she told went through 5 stages. The stages, which she describes in depth in the episode are:

  1. Defiance 
  2. Resistance 
  3. Curiosity 
  4. Acceptance
  5. Embracing

On our next episode, we’ll be sharing 10 powerful tips for going vegan without ruining your relationships in the process.


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach Academy


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Scale Obsession: How to Let Go Without Letting Yourself Go (EP 23: The Vegan Life Coach Podcast)

According to Harvard Health, for most dieters, preventing the pounds from coming back, after working so hard to lose them, is the biggest challenge. On average, people regain two-thirds of the weight that they’ve lost within two years.

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


One way people try to prevent gaining (or regaining) weight is through daily weigh-ins.

On one hand, this idea makes logical sense. When the number on the scale starts to increase, you know it’s time to tighten up the diet and/or hit the gym more. We hear clients say, “I’ve got to catch myself before my weight gets out of control.”

For some people, keeping a high level of awareness on small  changes in their weight can be motivating… But at what mental and emotional cost? True health isn’t just about the number on the scale… It includes mental and emotional health too.

First off, one problem is that daily fluctuations in weight is normal and to be expected due to differences in water retention from one day to the next. People often interpret a one-pound weight gain as FAT gain, and freak out. The scale doesn’t differentiate the weight of bone, fluid, muscle and fat.

The number on the scale all too often dictates a person’s mood. So what is a normal variation in weight, can literally ruin someone’s day for no logical reason.

At Vegan Life Coach Academy we talk about “finding your why.”

Next time you get on the scale we challenge you to ask yourself, “Why?”

Your answer is going to come from one of two places:

  1. FEAR. Fear of not being _____ enough. (Fill in the blank (e.g. skinny, pretty, etc.)
  2. LOVE. Loving and respecting yourself and your body so much that you make conscious and mindful choices about what you put in your body and how you move your body. (Hint: If you self-sabotage you’re not embodying true self-love.)

In this episode we explore why your obsession with the scale is causing more harm than good. Why daily weigh-ins are setting you up to stay stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage. Why constantly worrying about your weight is likely a reflection of low self-worth and shame.

What if you could focus on eating and training out of love and respect for yourself and your body? I’ll tell you! You will eat healthy, whole foods and workout the right amount so that the pounds will take care of themselves. 

No scale necessary!

We finish up with a challenge… Ditch your scale for an entire month and binge listen to the Vegan Life Coach Podcast!


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Episode 17: Busyness   |   5-Day Quick and Simple Whole Foods & Fitness Challenge  |   Vegan Life Coach Academy


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Finding Your “Why” with Vegan Bodybuilder Roger Smith (Vegan Life Coach Podcast Episode 20)

Pro-bodybuilder, entrepreneur, and motivational speaker Roger Smith has 19 years as a vegan under his belt. Roger’s mission is to uplift, embrace and promote Veganism, particularly within the Latin American community.

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


In this special episode, Roger and I had a blast discussing a wide range of powerful topics related to veganism and fitness. 

Roger’s positive outlook on life, his passion for being a voice for the voiceless, and dedication to making a positive impact on the lives of people is inspiring.

One of the ways he helps people make the transition to a healthy vegan lifestyle is by encouraging them to connect with their “why.” 

Getting clear on his “why” is how Roger was able to go vegan overnight himself, and how he has been able to achieve his pro bodybuilding card after winning the third bodybuilding show he had ever competed in.

Get ready for a jam-packed episode with information and motivation to help you step into your power, align your actions with your values, and achieve not only a healthy, fit body, but also a happy and meaningful life.


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Roger Smith’s Website and Links


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Problems Are Not The Problem! (Vegan Life Coach Podcast Episode 19)

On this episode of the Vegan Life Coach Podcast our goal is to help you see problems from a very different angle than you’re used to.

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


In the book, The Power of Now” Eckart Tolle says, “NOW is all we have.”

That does not mean we shouldn’t have goals for the future. It means that on our path to our goals, we can be present, live in gratitude, operate from a place of abundance, and put the positive energy out that we want to get back.

When it comes to problems, all too often we think, “Once I __________, I’ll be happy, at peace, and/or free from stress… Once I lose weight, land the right job, or find my soulmate everything will be butterflies and rainbows.

We tend to think that one day we could be free from problems… Like there’s a magical place that we would get to and we would then be happy and free.

What if we changed that thinking and began to explore our problems from a different angle? What if we acknowledged that there is an underlying issue. For many of our Vegan Life Coach Academy members, the root cause of unhappiness is the core belief, “I’m not enough.”

So many people are longing for the day that they can feel whole. 

When you don’t feel whole, you feel incomplete, when the reality is that you are already whole.

If you really think about it, there is no “arrival.” You’re never going to arrive at this magical place where you’re free from all problems.

When you’re single for example, you have one set of problems. You may dislike dating and think that if you found the right guy to marry everything would be fantastic in your life. But then, when you find that guy, and you do get married, have you “arrived” and have no more problems?

Of course not! You’ve simply arrived at a whole new set of problems!

Why are we running around so stressed and anxious all the time, trying to solve our problems as quickly as possible? What if we accepted the fact that once one problem is solved, there is going to be a new problem that arises. It’s just going to be a different problem. This is called life! 

We call it the human experience… Having a problem, facing it, learning, evolving, and then having new tools to use for the next problem.

So let’s take a deep breath here.

Problems are simply our own perception of a situation. Problems are created in the mind. In fact, the mind is the only place problems exist.

What’s a problem for one person could be an ideal circumstance for another.

If you’re somebody who doesn’t want children and you get pregnant that’s a problem, right ?

If you’re dying for kids however, and you get pregnant, it could be the happiest day of your life.

What happens is that our perceived problems cause negative emotions, and we are afraid of negative emotion. So what do we do? We fight.  We fight to make those problems go away.  We fight because we think freedom is on the other side of that problem, but that’s not the case. 

Instead, what if we learned to perceive situations in a way that will allow us to grow. What if we acknowledged, accepted, and even embraced the problems we have, because without them we wouldn’t be human. Without problems we wouldn’t exist… We’d be dead!

 So,  how do we change our perspective on a situation? 

We use the tool that we teach at Vegan Life Coach Academy… the Self-Empowerment Coaching System (episode 7).

The Self-Empowerment Coaching System is based on the idea that we have the power to write a different story for ourselves, and our lives, including our problems. SECS helps us learn how we can perceive our “problems”  in a productive way and take action to solve them.

So, remind yourself… Problems are forever. Take a deep breath. Feel yourself relax a bit. There’s no big rush!

 We don’t have to walk around in a hurry all day every day flying by the seat of our pants trying to solve the current problem because there’s just gonna be another one waiting for you once you solve the current one.

It’s called life! I wake up every morning feeling grateful to be alive. Do you?

In closing, let’s take some notes from Albert Einstein who said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

Becoming the master of our minds, including our perception of our problems, will completely transform our lives!

We hope this episode and tips we shared save you time as you stock your pantry, fridge, and freezer with staples so that you can eat healthy, delicious, and nutritious meals conveniently.

 


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach AcademyEpisode 17: The Busyness Trap


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Pantry Vegan Staples: Our Tips & Tricks

On today’s show Stephanie and I are talking about pantry vegan staples and our tips and tricks.

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.

 


On today’s show Stephanie and I are talking about pantry staples and our tips and tricks. Our goal for this episode is that you’ll put to use the tips and tricks that we provide to help you eat your healthiest, most delicious meals. We all live full lives, and this episode is going to help you implement easy practices so that you are set up for success with the food already in your kitchen, particularly staples in your pantry and fridge. 

If you have ever wondered what you would find in Stephanie’s or my pantry, what vegan staples we can’t live without, or what tips we have surrounding how to stock your pantry, fridge, or freezer with staples then this episode is for you. 

Some episodes here on The Vegan Life Coach Academy are heavier topics but some weeks, like today’s episode, are lighter episodes. We kick off this episode with a lightning round where we ask each other five questions that the other must respond to quickly, without thinking. Then we share our biggest, most helpful pantry and staples tips and tricks. 

I love how Stephanie organizes the grocery list for our Vegan Life Coach Academy members. On one side, she puts the pantry list and then on the other side, the produce. Both can be staples, but one can be stocked ahead of time and the other, we have to get fresh every week. Organizing the list in this way allows us to think about what we need to keep in the kitchen and pantry, or the refrigerator every week. 

Stephanie always picks a few meals that she is going to have throughout the week, and she chooses them in a way that she can re-purpose them, but there are certain vegan foods that she always have on hand… Staples. So when she organizes her grocery list, she organizes it just that way. She puts them in terms of produce and the things she knows she’s going to have to restock because they don’t keep. And then on the other side, she puts her pantry list and those are usually the staples that she knows that she is going to need. 

Then she goes into her pantry area and looks for them. She buys lots of items like chickpeas, and quinoa in bulk. And then she checks each week to make sure that she doesn’t need to replenish them. She notes, not to forget spices. And that’s the way she does it. Genius, right? 

There are certain non-perishables that I eat every week and it’s so much easier when I buy in bulk too, even though it’s just Christian and I. I know I’m going to eat chickpeas and black beans, all the different legumes. When I purchase those items in bulk my weekly grocery list is so much smaller. It just makes things so much easier. I definitely recommend stocking up on the non-perishables that you know you’ll be consuming each week. 

The way I organize my list, and the way we have our staples list for Vegan Life Coach Academy is by category. We have our nuts, seeds and berries as one category now, frozen foods is another one. However, you can only go as big as your freezer allows.  That’s the only problem there. We usually have more cabinet space or a storage space, but the freezer is a fantastic place to keep berries. I think sometimes frozen food gets a bad rap, but frozen veggies, frozen fruits are really great staples to keep on hand.

That is how we organize our staples, now let’s move on to some tips surrounding them. 

Ella Tip #1:

Organize your fridge so that when you open the door, you see the things that you want to choose first that are the healthiest food.

Refrigerators are set up to put unhealthy foods in front of us because we have the drawers, the crisper, where you want to put the produce and then they are hidden away in the drawer. Well, forget all of that. I want all my whole foods at eye level, I want to see the celery and the lettuce and the avocados and the tomatoes, I want to see all the whole foods right when I open the door. Then I want to slip in those drawers things like:  vegan cheeses, vegan Mayo, vegan meats beyond meat, those sort of things. Anything that I would consider a treat. I want to put those away, where I have to work a little harder to get to them. 

Stephanie Tip #1:

My tip for people who are transitioning to vegan with families that are not transitioning with them is to do a similar thing. Put those foods away into places where you don’t necessarily see them. My kids are vegan at home, but I don’t restrict them out and I do not ban people from bringing food in. So those items always go into the bottom drawer and those things that I don’t necessarily want to eat all the time that they do. For example: we have almonds, and chocolate pudding right now that goes into a drawer because if I see that first thing, I am definitely going to want that before the broccoli. 

Ella Tip #2:

My second tip is to cut vegetables right away. I love to bring home different dips and hummus but if I bring a big thing of celery and I put the celery whole into the refrigerator, the chance of that getting eaten when I’m in a hurry and I just need a quick snack is going to be slim.  I’m not going to take the celery out, wash it, cut it. I’m going to probably choose something else. So my trick is, when I get home from the grocery store with celery, and I’m just using that as one example, I immediately just go ahead and cut it, wash it. I put it in a big Tupperware with water. It seems to stay really well there. 

Stephanie Tip #2:

My biggest time-saver is to decide how much time you want to spend meal- prepping and really give yourself that permission to say, “I really only want to spend 30 minutes meal- prepping. Or I really only want to spend an hour meal-prepping.” When you box yourself into meal-prepping, it becomes a drudgery, and eventually you’re going to give it up. My biggest time-savers are those vegan foods that take a lot of time to cook. I cook beans, quinoa, and do some veggie prep on the weekends and that’s it. I don’t do anything else. 

We hope this episode and tips we shared save you time as you stock your pantry, fridge, and freezer with staples so that you can eat healthy, delicious, and nutritious meals conveniently.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach AcademyEpisode 17: The Busyness Trap


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Episode 17: The Busyness Trap

Busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to.  -Rob Bell

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Busyness is not a reality, it’s only your perceived reality. It’s a state of mind, meaning it’s all in your head, coming from your thoughts. 

Think about it, for someone who’s used to doing very little, having a few errands to run one day can have him/her saying, “It’s a busy day.” It’s simply about WHAT you’re busy doing!

Busyness is a perception of your reality. Life is made up of present moments, and life therefore cannot be busy. Only your mind can be busy. We’ve programmed our brains to believe being busy is how we operate, and that it’s outside of our control. We’ve created a personality of being busy, and our personality creates our personal reality!

We are the energy we create and put out into the Universe, so as long as we keep saying we’re busy, we will always let busyness run our lives and keep us in a state of overwhelm.

Saying you’re busy is also a great cop-out. It’s an easy excuse. We can justify anything by blaming it on being busy.

The word “busy” tends to have a negative connotation in a lot of cases because of the feelings of overwhelm, worry, and anxiety that come along with it. Busy can also have a positive connotation though. If you’re an entrepreneur and you’re busy with an influx of business, chances are you are pumped and excited about being busy!

So, what are you really telling yourself when you say you’re busy? What are you making it mean?

The thought, “I’m busy,” could mean, “I don’t think I have enough time to check everything off my to-do list” which can trigger negative emotions/anxiety. Consider this though… There will ALWAYS be something on your to-do list! Once you check one thing off, you add another. There is no “arrival.” So what are you in such a hurry for? This is a journey!

When you think, “I’m busy,” ask, “So what? What does that really mean?” Maybe it’s that you have booked your schedule solid and did not plan for any rest, time to simply “be”, or for self-care including meal prepping and being physically active in an enjoyable way.

Being busy has nothing to do with being productive. In fact, thinking you’re busy is counter-productive. If your mental space is consumed with thoughts of how busy you are, that space and mental energy is not being used to actually get anything accomplished. It’s more of a distraction than anything. 

By the way, you simply can’t be busy (or think you’re busy) when you’re truly living in the present moment. So when you decide on what you’re doing during a certain time frame, be there and put your full attention and focus on that thing you’re doing. Like magic, the busyness disappears. Why? Because it actually doesn’t exist! That’s why being present is one major antidote to busyness.

Great things happen when we give up the myth of busyness. In the mindset of busyness, the  thought is often, “my plate is full.” But watch what happens when you give up the notion that you’re busy. All of a sudden, your plate actually expands. It’s quite amazing!

We encourage you to commit to going the next month without saying, “I’m busy.” And when you think it, acknowledge the thought, and come up with a new thought to clarify what’s really going on.

———————-

We’d love to hear about your experience listening to this episode, and how helpful you found it to be (or not to be)! Email [email protected]. I read and reply to every email myself because your feedback is so incredibly valuable… This podcast is for YOU!


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach AcademyEpisode 4


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Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby with Tammy Greene

let's talk about sex, baby

Today’s episode is sure to be a favorite because we are talking about sex! And because we have a very special co-host with us, Tammy Greene.

Stephanie couldn’t be here today so Tammy is filling in. Tammy is one of our coaches at Vegan Life Coach Academy, and she’s also a relationship expert. Tammy has her degree in child development. She’s a certified vegan life coach. She’s the founder of the blog and podcast, Married and Naked. 

Today, Tammy and I are talking about, drum roll please, sex. That’s right! And in particular how to increase your libido. We cover everything from the shame that many of us feel for the different levels of drive and desire, to effective ways to communicate with your partner, as well as some fun games to play with your partner. 

Before we jump into our episode today, I have to tell you that  we are in the middle of open enrollment for Vegan Life Coach Academy! We launch on Saturday with a huge celebration, so make sure to get in now. Doors close this Friday, July 31st at 11:59 PM. Click here to find out more information and join today

So let’s jump into today’s episode. It all started with a supplement called Horny Goat Weed, which is a supplement that is supposed to increase your libido. During the Burpees and Greens Challenge I was live on camera and I showed participants what I was putting in my drink and they went crazy. So many people were asking where they could find it, and commented that they needed it. It opened my eyes to how big of an issue this is, how silenced it is, how much we hide it, and how shameful it can feel. 

One of the top questions Tammy gets from her clients is: how do I increase my libido? And she wasn’t surprised by the response I got from sharing my Horny Goat Weed. She said,  “We are sexual beings, sex is a big part of our life and our existence and we all want good sex lives.” 

Which leads us to ask the question how do we go about getting good sex and how do we go about understanding the differences that we can have from our partner?

Tammy points out that so much of it has to do with desire. There are definite distinct differences between men and women, as well as between same sex partners. And having a different level of desire than your partner is completely normal. The most important thing to understand is just because your desire level is lower than your partner’s, doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you. And so often we can feel like because we can’t keep up with our partner and don’t have the same desire, that something has got to be wrong with us. But for most of us, there’s absolutely nothing wrong and we are completely normal. We have to learn to love ourselves through that, accept that part about ourselves, and realize there is nothing wrong with us. We’re just different from our partner. And that’s okay. 

Tammy has been married for almost 22 years and that issue has been at the forefront of her relationship for the majority of their marriage.  

“I think one of the issues that a lot of couples have is that the person with the higher drive can really dominate that sex conversation. And it can often lead to women specifically feeling a lot of shame for their seemingly low desire levels. And they carry that feeling with them that something’s wrong with them. It’s really hard to get past those feelings of shame in order to find your way to feeling sexy.”

Shame is an issue we deal with a lot at Vegan Life Coach Academy, and oftentimes we don’t actually call it that to ourselves. We don’t realize that, shame is what is going on. And I’m so glad that we are talking about it today because I believe shame surrounding a decreased libido and sex drive doesn’t get talked about often enough. 

“It is so vital that we come together and share our experiences. One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is to come from a place of understanding and accepting ourselves and our differences rather than judging them. Judgment can be incredibly harmful to our psyches. And of course, it’s going to hurt our sex drives,” Tammy says. 

The importance of communicating about sex is vital.

According to Tammy talking about sex can feel very awkward and very embarrassing. “We each carry our own sexual history forward into relationships. So it’s really difficult to do, but being able to talk about it is so important and the more, and more, and more, and more you can talk about it, the less awkward it becomes, the deeper you can go and the more you can learn about each other.”

And creating opportunities to talk about it is also vital. Tammy doesn’t recommend doing so in the heat of the moment but her and her spouse use date nights to open up the conversation.  They take sexy questions and use them as conversation starters to ask one another fun questions.  “It really opens the doors for us to learn more about each other and have fun with it.” 

When I asked Tammy to give us a tip or two as we closed out the episode, she had this advice to give:

“One of the best ways and one of the fun ways to increase desire is to be more playful in the bedroom to not take it all so seriously. I know it is a serious topic, but to kind of loosen up and have some fun. And that’s one of the things that. My husband I really like to do is we just do a variety of games on date night.”

I couldn’t agree more. One of the mantras that I carry into the Vegan Life coach Academy with me is: play life like a game. And I say that, not because I am great at it, but because I’m not as great at it, as I want to be. I say it all the time and it really does help me. It helps me pause, take a deep breath, and realize that what is the point of stressing about everything?  The anxiety, none of that does us any good. So play life like a game, then bring it into the bedroom! 

Tammy and I hope that this episode encourages you to begin opening up a conversation with your partner about the things we discussed today. Don’t put so much pressure on it, and begin to get curious and playful. 

 


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Episode 15: Vegan Fitness – Why You Can’t Outrun Your Fork

vegan fitness

I was recently asked to give a talk about vegan fitness. I had to think about what valuable information and insights I bring to an audience… I mean, who doesn’t already know that it’s important to make consistent exercise a part of your lifestyle?

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


Exercise has been a part of my life since I was 5 years old, starting on the swim team, gymnastic team, dance classes, and later, after my growth spurt, volleyball in high school. 

From there I became a gym rat and personal trainer. I even won first place in the bikini division of the Fame World Championships, which I did to prove that it was possible as a vegan in fitness, at a time when many people didn’t even know what the word vegan meant, and those who did, thought of vegans not as fitness buffs, but rather as scrawny hippies who grew armpit hair and didn’t wear deodorant. 

What I found, working in fitness, was that the industry had very little concern for true health. Instead, it was all about what you looked like on the outside. And for me, having become a walking billboard for the strong, lean physique that was possible to build as a vegan, I put a ton of pressure on myself to stay in fighting shape in order to inspire others to go vegan. 

I became programmed to believe that my worth was based on the shape of my body and it sent me down the road of disordered eating and a distorted body image. 

To the world I looked like the shining example of a healthy, fit vegan, but I felt like a fraud, because I was not healthy mentally or emotionally. 

Maybe you have that voice inside your head that says, “I’ll be happy when… (fill in the blank). I’ll be happy when I lose this weight, or when I’ve got the body I’ve always wanted.”

Well we’re here to tell you that happiness is not on the other side of weight loss. It’s actually the other way around! Weight loss is on the other side of happiness.

It’s important to change your mindset around exercise and (vegan) fitness from what most people use as motivation… a means to lose weight, to a means of being strong, healthy and active into old age with weight loss often being a welcomed side effect.

In this episode we give you three shifts that you can make starting today to create a vegan lifestyle that will result in a strong, healthy, fit, body for life. These are shifts we help people make permanently through the Vegan Life Coach Academy membership.

Shift #1 is based on the philosophy that you can’t outrun your fork. What I mean is that no matter how insanely hard you workout, if you’re not fueling your body with nutrient packed whole plant foods, you won’t achieve a healthy, fit body, at least not for long. 

First off, you can only over-train for so long before your body starts to break down, from overuse injuries, to acute injuries, to adrenal fatigue. (I have experienced all three thanks to all my years of over-training).

Second, let me ask you a question: You know what burpees are right? 

Well most people, myself included have a love hate relationship with burpees because they are one of the toughest, yet most effective total body exercises that exist. 

How many burpees do you think it takes to burn off the calories in just 3 Oreo cookies (which are accidentally vegan by the way)?

Over 100! Yes, that’s right, so if you’ve ever eaten something, thinking, “It’s okay, I’ll burn off these calories at the gym tomorrow,” good luck! Constantly working out for the purpose of burning off calories you feel guilty about consuming will keep you spinning your wheels, frustrated, and exhausted.

So I encourage you to use food and exercise as complements to each other. Use food to fuel your body so that it can perform at it’s best, so you can be energized and feel strong day in and day out.

This leads me to Shift #2: Loving yourself unconditionally is a prerequisite for changing your body. In other words, transformation occurs from the inside out. 

This can be a tough concept to wrap your head around right? 

We spend so much time and energy doing research and trying to find the right meal and workout plans to finally get us in good shape. But ultimately what happens? How often do you eat something, knowing very well it’s not going to help your cause? 

How many times do you find yourself in a cycle of self-sabotage, where you are super motivated, stick to a strict diet, and exercise like a crazy person, only to eventually find your willpower has run out, your life is completely out of balance, and you end up “falling off” the wagon, overeating, under-exercising, and ending up back where you started or worse off?

Well what if we spent that time and energy first learning to respect and accept ourselves exactly as we are? 

What if we truly loved ourselves, and started listening to our bodies, and making the choices that will serve us and our bodies best? 

What if we started eating and exercising because we LOVE our bodies, not because we hate them?

I’ll tell you, because we have helped hundreds of clients do just that.

I’ll tell you about Mary, who enrolled in my program because she was pre-diabetic, had hypertension, and a decent amount of weight to lose. 

She, like so many, said to me, “I’ve tried EVERYTHING” to which I asked, have you tried NOT dieting, and NOT trying to lose weight by burning calories at the gym? Have you tried overcoming the mental and emotional hurdles you may not even know are standing in your way? 

Well, she had been through some individual therapy for some serious trauma she experienced as a child and teen. Despite the therapy, she was still carrying around the weight of shame, and the beliefs that she was unlovable and unworthy. 

We gave her a safe space to be vulnerable, and the tools and coaching she needed to build a foundation of self-love, and when she did, everything else began to fall into place. When she began eating and exercising out of true love for herself, 25 pounds melted off, and she regained her health. 

And finally, Shift #3: Get curious and find the fun in vegan fitness!

Let me tell you about my boyfriend Christian.

Christian grew up a band geek (his words not mine), so music was his thing, whereas vegan fitness and sports were mine. 

Before I met him, he had the goal of getting up to 185 pounds by building muscle (don’t us women love it when men complain about not being able to gain weight?!). 

He had hired a trainer and was meal prepping as his trainer recommended. Side note… When I first looked in his kitchen I was horrified, I mean absolutely horrified… from turkey burgers and canned tuna, to terrible protein and other supplement powders, to diet coke and seltzer water sweetened with aspartame and sucralose). 

He was working his ass off at the gym and was seeing very little results. 

He was beyond frustrated, and not long after we started dating, he got on board the vegan train, but fell off the wagon when it came to exercise. “What’s the point?” he asked me. 

Well, I threw a lot of points at him! I told him that getting big muscles was one aesthetic reason to workout, but what about all the benefits that would set him up for a lifetime of activity? The strength, mobility, flexibility and agility you can get from different types of exercise. The heart health he could experience as he prevented heart disease. Fending off back problems and osteoporosis as well. 

What if he could find motivation in wanting to feel his best and enjoy a high level quality of life into old age? If you really think about it, our looks are going to change regardless. We get older, we get wrinkles, we get age spots, things sag, but if you’re able to continue to move with ease and access the joy and freedom from within, the golden years really will feel golden!

That being said, I like to get creative and have fun, which often means mixing things up. 

I go through phases where I’m really into one type of physical activity, let’s say training and sparring Muay Thai, and then I’ll go through a phase where I’m into calisthenics, and then heavier lifting, or cycling, the possibilities are endless. 

So recently, Christian and I came up with a competition between the two of us. I’d call it a friendly competition, but we’re both competitive so there’s a lot of friendly shit-talking taking place let me tell you! 

And what will happen after our competition? I’m not sure! Maybe Christian will be in the flow, feeling so good from the inside out he will keep it up on a more moderate level. Maybe he’ll be achy and ready to join me for some yoga. Maybe we’ll take couples yoga classes, or I’ll join him for some workouts at the park or track since. We’ll see! I’m not worried because there’s always a solution when you think outside the box.

So ask yourself, “What could I do to make working out something I WANT to do?” Give it some thought!

Here are some ideas: 

  • Take on fun challenges.
  • I’m a huge proponent of classes, though right now with the Pandemic they may have to be virtual. I really like the Social/community aspect of classes, the energy, and accountability. Have you tried (Kick)boxing classes, indoor cycling, or bootcamps? 
  • What about yoga, which has become a moving meditation I can’t live without. (And if you “hate yoga” I get it. I resisted it for years until I found the style and instructors that worked for me at which point it was life-changing!)
  • There are also programs that last a certain number of weeks/months which make it possible to really test your progress if that motivates you.
  • And what about recreational sports like tennis, volleyball, cycling, swimming, that you could make part of your weekly routine?

Don’t think, just do! You talk yourself into going to work, and doing things for the people you love, not necessarily because you feel motivated, but because it’s a responsibility you’ve chosen. Time to choose exercise as one of those responsibilities!

I’ll finish up here with this thought… 

You are not a body. You have a body. You are a soul. Take care of your body, so you have a healthy vessel for your soul to reside while you navigate this game we call life.

We encourage you to join our uniquely powerful and compassionate Empowered Vegan Life group on Facebook for more coaching and support around this topic.

We’d love to hear about your experience listening to this episode, and how helpful you found it to be (or not to be)! Email [email protected]. I read and reply to every email myself because your feedback is so incredibly valuable… This podcast is for YOU!


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Black Health Matters with Gigi The Vegan

We are so excited for our listeners to hear this episode!

We have a really fantastic guest today who has a fascinating story about how she healed her body with food as her medicine. She didn’t stop with her own health though… She started a health movement in Kansas City, focusing on the Black community in particular. Her name is Annette Jones, but she’s better known as Gigi The Vegan.

Gigi is leading the way for black women entrepreneurs and vegan businesses in the Kansas City Area. Stephanie came to know Gigi through her line of kale chips. (They are SO delicious!) 

This week is Gigi’s birthday, and she is opening Gigi’s Vegan Cafe where she will not only be cooking up delicious and health-promoting meals, but also growing her own produce and providing a sanctuary for healing through meditation and other types of practices. Gigi is a beautiful soul and she is not afraid to tell her own story which includes her journey to becoming a vegan and healing her body from cancer. 

In this episode, Gigi really opens up the conversation concerning systemic racism that has led to inadequate education and healthcare for the Black population in our country, in turn this has created a generational pattern that Gigi is fully committed to changing in her community.

In August of 2015, Gigi was diagnosed with colon cancer. Her doctor told her that she would need surgery but Gigi felt that she needed to find an alternative. At that time, she had a lot of stress in her life and wasn’t conscious of how she was eating, and wasn’t truly taking care of herself. That is when she decided to educate herself on cancer and how to make her body stronger for surgery. 

But what happened was remarkable! After educating herself, Gigi decided to go the holistic route with an all raw, vegan lifestyle. She learned to combine different herbs together to heal her body, and now, Gigi has been given a clean bill of health! 

It was more than just her diet Gigi changed. She also changed her mental health and stress levels. “It pretty much changed my entire life and my lifestyle. And since then, I decided to help others. I went to receive training through Parkinson’s Health Institute, as well as Dr. Campbell. And here I am. It wasn’t an easy journey for me, but it was the journey that I needed to take to make myself whole again. I’m getting another opportunity to do things over again with my children and grandchildren, inspiring them to change and live their best lives.”

At Vegan Life Coach Academy we place a high level of importance on mindset work. Mindset is important to Gigi as well, and meditation is now a vital part of her life. She had to reconnect with self and with God. 

In a world where we are so busy taking care of other people, we often forget about ourselves. Gigi said she always tells people when they first start on their journey toward a healthy lifestyle, that the first thing they need to do is, “spend time with yourself. Get quiet.” 

“Fill yourself up with so much love for yourself, and then we can distribute that to others.” And we couldn’t agree more. Gigi helps people become centered in quiet, and embody a state of peace.

Gigi attributes the success of her business to the mind, body, spirit connection. 

 “It doesn’t feel like a job. It just feels like something that I am supposed to do and I never get tired of doing it. I feel honored to be able to assist people, and their lifestyle goals and changes that they want to make in their life, and inspire others.”

Gigi’s desire to make a difference in her community is visible in everything she does . Gigi believes not only that black lives matter, but also that black health matters. She believes that African American health is in a state of emergency.  

African Americans are leading the numbers when it comes to COVID deaths, high blood pressure and diabetes. Forty percent of African American men are hypertensive, and forty four percent for African American women.  Thirty-seven percent of African American men, and fifty six percent of African American women struggle with obesity.

“So, for me, I think that there has to be a focus on black health care because black health care matters.” Gigi says. “I’m just here as a vessel to do the work, the information that I have, I just want to be able to give that to my community.”

And that is exactly what Gigi is doing with the opening of her cafe, Gigi’s Vegan & Wellness Cafe, where they grow much of their own food, as well as her line of Kale Chips, and her 21 Day Detox program. 

It was an honor and pleasure to have Gigi on our show. Her story is so very inspiring. We want to wish Gigi the Happiest of Birthdays and massive success for her restaurant!

 


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