Ella Magers, MSW, Author at How to be Vegan | Going Vegan | Vegan Fitness - Page 9 of 25How to be Vegan | Going Vegan | Vegan Fitness

Tags: empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching, time management, vegan fitness

Vegan Life Coach Academy | Episode 4

Episode 17: The Busyness Trap

Busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to. -Rob Bell

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.

Busyness is not a reality, it’s only your perceived reality. It’s a state of mind, meaning it’s all in your head, coming from your thoughts.

Think about it, for someone who’s used to doing very little, having a few errands to run one day can have him/her saying, “It’s a busy day.” It’s simply about WHAT you’re busy doing!

Busyness is a perception of your reality. Life is made up of present moments, and life therefore cannot be busy. Only your mind can be busy. We’ve programmed our brains to believe being busy is how we operate, and that it’s outside of our control. We’ve created a personality of being busy, and our personality creates our personal reality!

We are the energy we create and put out into the Universe, so as long as we keep saying we’re busy, we will always let busyness run our lives and keep us in a state of overwhelm.

Saying you’re busy is also a great cop-out. It’s an easy excuse. We can justify anything by blaming it on being busy.

The word “busy” tends to have a negative connotation in a lot of cases because of the feelings of overwhelm, worry, and anxiety that come along with it. Busy can also have a positive connotation though. If you’re an entrepreneur and you’re busy with an influx of business, chances are you are pumped and excited about being busy!

So, what are you really telling yourself when you say you’re busy? What are you making it mean?

The thought, “I’m busy,” could mean, “I don’t think I have enough time to check everything off my to-do list” which can trigger negative emotions/anxiety. Consider this though… There will ALWAYS be something on your to-do list! Once you check one thing off, you add another. There is no “arrival.” So what are you in such a hurry for? This is a journey!

When you think, “I’m busy,” ask, “So what? What does that really mean?” Maybe it’s that you have booked your schedule solid and did not plan for any rest, time to simply “be”, or for self-care including meal prepping and being physically active in an enjoyable way.

Being busy has nothing to do with being productive. In fact, thinking you’re busy is counter-productive. If your mental space is consumed with thoughts of how busy you are, that space and mental energy is not being used to actually get anything accomplished. It’s more of a distraction than anything.

By the way, you simply can’t be busy (or think you’re busy) when you’re truly living in the present moment. So when you decide on what you’re doing during a certain time frame, be there and put your full attention and focus on that thing you’re doing. Like magic, the busyness disappears. Why? Because it actually doesn’t exist! That’s why being present is one major antidote to busyness.

Great things happen when we give up the myth of busyness. In the mindset of busyness, the thought is often, “my plate is full.” But watch what happens when you give up the notion that you’re busy. All of a sudden, your plate actually expands. It’s quite amazing!

We encourage you to commit to going the next month without saying, “I’m busy.” And when you think it, acknowledge the thought, and come up with a new thought to clarify what’s really going on.

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We’d love to hear about your experience listening to this episode, and how helpful you found it to be (or not to be)! Email [email protected]. I read and reply to every email myself because your feedback is so incredibly valuable… This podcast is for YOU!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

28 Jul 2020

Holistic Health, Podcast, Vegan Lifestyle

Vegan Life Coach Academy | Naked & Married Podcast

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby with Tammy Greene

Today’s episode is sure to be a favorite because we are talking about sex! And because we have a very special co-host with us, Tammy Greene.

Stephanie couldn’t be here today so Tammy is filling in. Tammy is one of our coaches at Vegan Life Coach Academy, and she’s also a relationship expert. Tammy has her degree in child development. She’s a certified vegan life coach. She’s the founder of the blog and podcast, Married and Naked.

Today, Tammy and I are talking about, drum roll please, sex. That’s right! And in particular how to increase your libido. We cover everything from the shame that many of us feel for the different levels of drive and desire, to effective ways to communicate with your partner, as well as some fun games to play with your partner.

Before we jump into our episode today, I have to tell you that we are in the middle of open enrollment for Vegan Life Coach Academy! We launch on Saturday with a huge celebration, so make sure to get in now. Doors close this Friday, July 31st at 11:59 PM. Click here to find out more information and join today.

So let’s jump into today’s episode. It all started with a supplement called Horny Goat Weed, which is a supplement that is supposed to increase your libido. During the Burpees and Greens Challenge I was live on camera and I showed participants what I was putting in my drink and they went crazy. So many people were asking where they could find it, and commented that they needed it. It opened my eyes to how big of an issue this is, how silenced it is, how much we hide it, and how shameful it can feel.

One of the top questions Tammy gets from her clients is: how do I increase my libido? And she wasn’t surprised by the response I got from sharing my Horny Goat Weed. She said, “We are sexual beings, sex is a big part of our life and our existence and we all want good sex lives.”

Which leads us to ask the question how do we go about getting good sex and how do we go about understanding the differences that we can have from our partner?

Tammy points out that so much of it has to do with desire. There are definite distinct differences between men and women, as well as between same sex partners. And having a different level of desire than your partner is completely normal. The most important thing to understand is just because your desire level is lower than your partner’s, doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you. And so often we can feel like because we can’t keep up with our partner and don’t have the same desire, that something has got to be wrong with us. But for most of us, there’s absolutely nothing wrong and we are completely normal. We have to learn to love ourselves through that, accept that part about ourselves, and realize there is nothing wrong with us. We’re just different from our partner. And that’s okay.

Tammy has been married for almost 22 years and that issue has been at the forefront of her relationship for the majority of their marriage.

“I think one of the issues that a lot of couples have is that the person with the higher drive can really dominate that sex conversation. And it can often lead to women specifically feeling a lot of shame for their seemingly low desire levels. And they carry that feeling with them that something’s wrong with them. It’s really hard to get past those feelings of shame in order to find your way to feeling sexy.”

Shame is an issue we deal with a lot at Vegan Life Coach Academy, and oftentimes we don’t actually call it that to ourselves. We don’t realize that, shame is what is going on. And I’m so glad that we are talking about it today because I believe shame surrounding a decreased libido and sex drive doesn’t get talked about often enough.

“It is so vital that we come together and share our experiences. One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is to come from a place of understanding and accepting ourselves and our differences rather than judging them. Judgment can be incredibly harmful to our psyches. And of course, it’s going to hurt our sex drives,” Tammy says.

The importance of communicating about sex is vital.

According to Tammy talking about sex can feel very awkward and very embarrassing. “We each carry our own sexual history forward into relationships. So it’s really difficult to do, but being able to talk about it is so important and the more, and more, and more, and more you can talk about it, the less awkward it becomes, the deeper you can go and the more you can learn about each other.”

And creating opportunities to talk about it is also vital. Tammy doesn’t recommend doing so in the heat of the moment but her and her spouse use date nights to open up the conversation. They take sexy questions and use them as conversation starters to ask one another fun questions. “It really opens the doors for us to learn more about each other and have fun with it.”

When I asked Tammy to give us a tip or two as we closed out the episode, she had this advice to give:

“One of the best ways and one of the fun ways to increase desire is to be more playful in the bedroom to not take it all so seriously. I know it is a serious topic, but to kind of loosen up and have some fun. And that’s one of the things that. My husband I really like to do is we just do a variety of games on date night.”

I couldn’t agree more. One of the mantras that I carry into the Vegan Life coach Academy with me is: play life like a game. And I say that, not because I am great at it, but because I’m not as great at it, as I want to be. I say it all the time and it really does help me. It helps me pause, take a deep breath, and realize that what is the point of stressing about everything? The anxiety, none of that does us any good. So play life like a game, then bring it into the bedroom!

Tammy and I hope that this episode encourages you to begin opening up a conversation with your partner about the things we discussed today. Don’t put so much pressure on it, and begin to get curious and playful.

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MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

21 Jul 2020

Tags: cravings, curing cravings, empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching, vegan fitness

Vegan Life Coach Academy | Episode 4

Episode 15: Vegan Fitness – Why You Can’t Outrun Your Fork

I was recently asked to give a talk about vegan fitness. I had to think about what valuable information and insights I bring to an audience… I mean, who doesn’t already know that it’s important to make consistent exercise a part of your lifestyle?

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.

Exercise has been a part of my life since I was 5 years old, starting on the swim team, gymnastic team, dance classes, and later, after my growth spurt, volleyball in high school.

From there I became a gym rat and personal trainer. I even won first place in the bikini division of the Fame World Championships, which I did to prove that it was possible as a vegan in fitness, at a time when many people didn’t even know what the word vegan meant, and those who did, thought of vegans not as fitness buffs, but rather as scrawny hippies who grew armpit hair and didn’t wear deodorant.

What I found, working in fitness, was that the industry had very little concern for true health. Instead, it was all about what you looked like on the outside. And for me, having become a walking billboard for the strong, lean physique that was possible to build as a vegan, I put a ton of pressure on myself to stay in fighting shape in order to inspire others to go vegan.

I became programmed to believe that my worth was based on the shape of my body and it sent me down the road of disordered eating and a distorted body image.

To the world I looked like the shining example of a healthy, fit vegan, but I felt like a fraud, because I was not healthy mentally or emotionally.

Maybe you have that voice inside your head that says, “I’ll be happy when… (fill in the blank). I’ll be happy when I lose this weight, or when I’ve got the body I’ve always wanted.”

Well we’re here to tell you that happiness is not on the other side of weight loss. It’s actually the other way around! Weight loss is on the other side of happiness.

It’s important to change your mindset around exercise and (vegan) fitness from what most people use as motivation… a means to lose weight, to a means of being strong, healthy and active into old age with weight loss often being a welcomed side effect.

In this episode we give you three shifts that you can make starting today to create a vegan lifestyle that will result in a strong, healthy, fit, body for life. These are shifts we help people make permanently through the Vegan Life Coach Academy membership.

Shift #1 is based on the philosophy that you can’t outrun your fork. What I mean is that no matter how insanely hard you workout, if you’re not fueling your body with nutrient packed whole plant foods, you won’t achieve a healthy, fit body, at least not for long.

First off, you can only over-train for so long before your body starts to break down, from overuse injuries, to acute injuries, to adrenal fatigue. (I have experienced all three thanks to all my years of over-training).

Second, let me ask you a question: You know what burpees are right?

Well most people, myself included have a love hate relationship with burpees because they are one of the toughest, yet most effective total body exercises that exist.

How many burpees do you think it takes to burn off the calories in just 3 Oreo cookies (which are accidentally vegan by the way)?

Over 100! Yes, that’s right, so if you’ve ever eaten something, thinking, “It’s okay, I’ll burn off these calories at the gym tomorrow,” good luck! Constantly working out for the purpose of burning off calories you feel guilty about consuming will keep you spinning your wheels, frustrated, and exhausted.

So I encourage you to use food and exercise as complements to each other. Use food to fuel your body so that it can perform at it’s best, so you can be energized and feel strong day in and day out.

This leads me to Shift #2: Loving yourself unconditionally is a prerequisite for changing your body. In other words, transformation occurs from the inside out.

This can be a tough concept to wrap your head around right?

We spend so much time and energy doing research and trying to find the right meal and workout plans to finally get us in good shape. But ultimately what happens? How often do you eat something, knowing very well it’s not going to help your cause?

How many times do you find yourself in a cycle of self-sabotage, where you are super motivated, stick to a strict diet, and exercise like a crazy person, only to eventually find your willpower has run out, your life is completely out of balance, and you end up “falling off” the wagon, overeating, under-exercising, and ending up back where you started or worse off?

Well what if we spent that time and energy first learning to respect and accept ourselves exactly as we are?

What if we truly loved ourselves, and started listening to our bodies, and making the choices that will serve us and our bodies best?

What if we started eating and exercising because we LOVE our bodies, not because we hate them?

I’ll tell you, because we have helped hundreds of clients do just that.

I’ll tell you about Mary, who enrolled in my program because she was pre-diabetic, had hypertension, and a decent amount of weight to lose.

She, like so many, said to me, “I’ve tried EVERYTHING” to which I asked, have you tried NOT dieting, and NOT trying to lose weight by burning calories at the gym? Have you tried overcoming the mental and emotional hurdles you may not even know are standing in your way?

Well, she had been through some individual therapy for some serious trauma she experienced as a child and teen. Despite the therapy, she was still carrying around the weight of shame, and the beliefs that she was unlovable and unworthy.

We gave her a safe space to be vulnerable, and the tools and coaching she needed to build a foundation of self-love, and when she did, everything else began to fall into place. When she began eating and exercising out of true love for herself, 25 pounds melted off, and she regained her health.

And finally, Shift #3: Get curious and find the fun in vegan fitness!

Let me tell you about my boyfriend Christian.

Christian grew up a band geek (his words not mine), so music was his thing, whereas vegan fitness and sports were mine.

Before I met him, he had the goal of getting up to 185 pounds by building muscle (don’t us women love it when men complain about not being able to gain weight?!).

He had hired a trainer and was meal prepping as his trainer recommended. Side note… When I first looked in his kitchen I was horrified, I mean absolutely horrified… from turkey burgers and canned tuna, to terrible protein and other supplement powders, to diet coke and seltzer water sweetened with aspartame and sucralose).

He was working his ass off at the gym and was seeing very little results.

He was beyond frustrated, and not long after we started dating, he got on board the vegan train, but fell off the wagon when it came to exercise. “What’s the point?” he asked me.

Well, I threw a lot of points at him! I told him that getting big muscles was one aesthetic reason to workout, but what about all the benefits that would set him up for a lifetime of activity? The strength, mobility, flexibility and agility you can get from different types of exercise. The heart health he could experience as he prevented heart disease. Fending off back problems and osteoporosis as well.

What if he could find motivation in wanting to feel his best and enjoy a high level quality of life into old age? If you really think about it, our looks are going to change regardless. We get older, we get wrinkles, we get age spots, things sag, but if you’re able to continue to move with ease and access the joy and freedom from within, the golden years really will feel golden!

That being said, I like to get creative and have fun, which often means mixing things up.

I go through phases where I’m really into one type of physical activity, let’s say training and sparring Muay Thai, and then I’ll go through a phase where I’m into calisthenics, and then heavier lifting, or cycling, the possibilities are endless.

So recently, Christian and I came up with a competition between the two of us. I’d call it a friendly competition, but we’re both competitive so there’s a lot of friendly shit-talking taking place let me tell you!

And what will happen after our competition? I’m not sure! Maybe Christian will be in the flow, feeling so good from the inside out he will keep it up on a more moderate level. Maybe he’ll be achy and ready to join me for some yoga. Maybe we’ll take couples yoga classes, or I’ll join him for some workouts at the park or track since. We’ll see! I’m not worried because there’s always a solution when you think outside the box.

So ask yourself, “What could I do to make working out something I WANT to do?” Give it some thought!

Here are some ideas:

Take on fun challenges.
I’m a huge proponent of classes, though right now with the Pandemic they may have to be virtual. I really like the Social/community aspect of classes, the energy, and accountability. Have you tried (Kick)boxing classes, indoor cycling, or bootcamps?
What about yoga, which has become a moving meditation I can’t live without. (And if you “hate yoga” I get it. I resisted it for years until I found the style and instructors that worked for me at which point it was life-changing!)
There are also programs that last a certain number of weeks/months which make it possible to really test your progress if that motivates you.
And what about recreational sports like tennis, volleyball, cycling, swimming, that you could make part of your weekly routine?

Don’t think, just do! You talk yourself into going to work, and doing things for the people you love, not necessarily because you feel motivated, but because it’s a responsibility you’ve chosen. Time to choose exercise as one of those responsibilities!

I’ll finish up here with this thought…

You are not a body. You have a body. You are a soul. Take care of your body, so you have a healthy vessel for your soul to reside while you navigate this game we call life.

We encourage you to join our uniquely powerful and compassionate Empowered Vegan Life group on Facebook for more coaching and support around this topic.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

14 Jul 2020

Empowerment, Holistic Health, Podcast, Vegan Lifestyle

Tags: empowerment, going vegan, healthy vegan lifestyle, kale

Black Health Matters with Gigi The Vegan

We are so excited for our listeners to hear this episode!

We have a really fantastic guest today who has a fascinating story about how she healed her body with food as her medicine. She didn’t stop with her own health though… She started a health movement in Kansas City, focusing on the Black community in particular. Her name is Annette Jones, but she’s better known as Gigi The Vegan.

Gigi is leading the way for black women entrepreneurs and vegan businesses in the Kansas City Area. Stephanie came to know Gigi through her line of kale chips. (They are SO delicious!)

This week is Gigi’s birthday, and she is opening Gigi’s Vegan Cafe where she will not only be cooking up delicious and health-promoting meals, but also growing her own produce and providing a sanctuary for healing through meditation and other types of practices. Gigi is a beautiful soul and she is not afraid to tell her own story which includes her journey to becoming a vegan and healing her body from cancer.

In this episode, Gigi really opens up the conversation concerning systemic racism that has led to inadequate education and healthcare for the Black population in our country, in turn this has created a generational pattern that Gigi is fully committed to changing in her community.

In August of 2015, Gigi was diagnosed with colon cancer. Her doctor told her that she would need surgery but Gigi felt that she needed to find an alternative. At that time, she had a lot of stress in her life and wasn’t conscious of how she was eating, and wasn’t truly taking care of herself. That is when she decided to educate herself on cancer and how to make her body stronger for surgery.

But what happened was remarkable! After educating herself, Gigi decided to go the holistic route with an all raw, vegan lifestyle. She learned to combine different herbs together to heal her body, and now, Gigi has been given a clean bill of health!

It was more than just her diet Gigi changed. She also changed her mental health and stress levels. “It pretty much changed my entire life and my lifestyle. And since then, I decided to help others. I went to receive training through Parkinson’s Health Institute, as well as Dr. Campbell. And here I am. It wasn’t an easy journey for me, but it was the journey that I needed to take to make myself whole again. I’m getting another opportunity to do things over again with my children and grandchildren, inspiring them to change and live their best lives.”

At Vegan Life Coach Academy we place a high level of importance on mindset work. Mindset is important to Gigi as well, and meditation is now a vital part of her life. She had to reconnect with self and with God.

In a world where we are so busy taking care of other people, we often forget about ourselves. Gigi said she always tells people when they first start on their journey toward a healthy lifestyle, that the first thing they need to do is, “spend time with yourself. Get quiet.”

“Fill yourself up with so much love for yourself, and then we can distribute that to others.” And we couldn’t agree more. Gigi helps people become centered in quiet, and embody a state of peace.

Gigi attributes the success of her business to the mind, body, spirit connection.

“It doesn’t feel like a job. It just feels like something that I am supposed to do and I never get tired of doing it. I feel honored to be able to assist people, and their lifestyle goals and changes that they want to make in their life, and inspire others.”

Gigi’s desire to make a difference in her community is visible in everything she does . Gigi believes not only that black lives matter, but also that black health matters. She believes that African American health is in a state of emergency.

African Americans are leading the numbers when it comes to COVID deaths, high blood pressure and diabetes. Forty percent of African American men are hypertensive, and forty four percent for African American women. Thirty-seven percent of African American men, and fifty six percent of African American women struggle with obesity.

“So, for me, I think that there has to be a focus on black health care because black health care matters.” Gigi says. “I’m just here as a vessel to do the work, the information that I have, I just want to be able to give that to my community.”

And that is exactly what Gigi is doing with the opening of her cafe, Gigi’s Vegan & Wellness Cafe, where they grow much of their own food, as well as her line of Kale Chips, and her 21 Day Detox program.

It was an honor and pleasure to have Gigi on our show. Her story is so very inspiring. We want to wish Gigi the Happiest of Birthdays and massive success for her restaurant!

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MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach Academy | Gigi’s Wellness Cafe | Connect with Gigi on Instagram|Connect with Gigi Facebook | Gigi’s Website

CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

07 Jul 2020

Vegan Life Coach Academy | Episode 4

Tags: cravings, curing cravings, empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching

1 Comment

Cravings: Causes and Cures

Let’s talk about food cravings! What are some of the foods you crave?

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.

If you’re curious about why you have cravings, and how to cure them, this episode is for you!

You may have heard me share my former struggles with foods like peanut butter and granola (we make plenty of jokes about my granola addiction, so feel free to make fun of me)!

For Stephanie, it’s the sugar that’s her kryptonite. She even tells us her dirty little secret that she’s a recovering Mountain Dew addict.

Every person experiences cravings differently, but often cravings are for processed “junk” foods because they are high in sugar, salt and fat (all of which are highly addictive.) The desire for these foods that don’t nourish our bodies can be so intense and seem uncontrollable to the point that your “hunger” might not be satisfied until you consume that particular food.

Cravings are not actually caused by the stomach or the taste buds, but the regions of the brain that are responsible for memory, pleasure, and reward… A powerful combination of forces! We remember how these foods make us feel, and we want to replicate the pleasure experience.

Our brains are so efficient at steering us to what is going to make us feel good. Unfortunately, this often overrides the centers of our brain that control our logic and reasoning. So it’s easy to see how food cravings present a major roadblock to forming new, healthier nutritional habits.

A couple of causes for the brain’s reaction that produce the cravings are very intimately connected. First is an imbalance of hormones such as leptin and serotonin. Commonly craved foods release endorphins after eating, which mirrors addiction in many ways. The brain knows how to make the body feel good, so it signals the craving to get the flow of endorphins, but after the flow, comes the crash.

As temporary as the relief is, junk food can fulfill the need for relief from negative emotions very quickly.

When it comes to overcoming or curing cravings for unhealthy foods, we give a number of helpful tips and strategies in this episode.

The mindset strategies we cover in this episode are an extension of our Self-Empowerment Coaching System (Episode 4).

One such strategy is as follows… When you feel like eating, give yourself a little test and ask yourself, “Would I eat kale right now (or any nutrient-dense plant food you like, but don’t feel addicted to)?” If the answer is yes, go right ahead and eat kale. If the answer is no, then you probably are not hungry and may be wanting to eat out of habit and/or to suppress emotions.

If eating to suppress emotions is any part of that answer, then it is time to take a step back and suspend your judgment. Look at yourself and your situation with compassion and curiosity, and then ask yourself some questions.

First, “What’s bothering me?” or “What’s really stressing me out?” Then, “What can I do about it?” And finally, “Why am I NOT doing something about it?” If you commit to facing the stress and underlying emotions first, you can usually bust through the craving.

In other words, you are really facing your stuff, rather than stuffing your face!

It’s really important to explore what’s underneath that has you looking for comfort, pleasure, and a reward that is momentary, and actually deal with the root issue rather than making a self-sabotaging choice.

By giving into a craving rather than dealing with the fuel behind it, you find yourself then dealing with guilt, sadness or stress about the craving and the rest of the muck that you were escaping from in the first place.

Remember this… It’s rarely about the food!

We encourage you to join our uniquely powerful and compassionate Empowered Vegan Life group on Facebook for more coaching and support around this topic!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

30 Jun 2020

Tags: abundance, empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching

Vegan Life Coach Academy | Episode 4

Body Image: How You Can Love Your Body AND Change It Simultaneously

Today’s episode focuses on a topic that our listeners have been requesting… body image (a “fun” one I know)!

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.

The VAST majority of people are walking around uncomfortable in their own skin.

Most people that we encounter every single day have a negative view of their bodies, so if that’s you, you’re FAR from alone.

Stephanie and I can relate on both a personal level, and through the hundreds of clients we’ve worked with who struggle with their body image and self-esteem.

It’s important to make a distinction between self-esteem and body-image, because people often use those terms interchangeably. Though they can be intimately connected, they are actually quite different.

Body image is specific to the body while self-esteem is an evaluation of our worth as a whole, and is not just specifically related to our bodies. We can see the impact and the over emphasis many of us put on our physical bodies, and the way we feel about our physical bodies, has a large impact on how we really feel about ourselves.

I share about my struggles with body image, and Stephanie talks about how at one point, she was in such a horrible place with her body image that she would avoid pictures at all cost. This was even after taking care of the dysfunction of her eating disorder.

Stephanie talks about how, early in her law enforcement career, she became a part of the crisis negotiation team as a negotiator, and when it would come time to get fitted for uniforms or take team pictures, she would actually use a sick day to avoid having to participate. She realizes now how much time and energy she spent locked into core beliefs that weren’t serving her. (I’m not good enough. I’m not skinny, so I’m not worthy.)

We talk about clients like Erin who carried a scale around in her purse because she was so obsessed with her body image she couldn’t go out to eat without weighing and measuring her food.

One important distinction that we make, that was helpful for Erin and so many of our clients, was that you can love and accept your body for everything that it is and does in the present, while also working toward changing it on your quest to becoming the healthiest version of yourself.

In so many ways, the diet culture has really sold us a system that keeps them in business. If they continue to make our bodies the enemy and not the expert, then they are able to sell us on their products.

The truth is, no lasting change can occur until you start treating your body with love, acceptance, respect, and gratitude. The body is forgiving. It’s responsive and patient.

Learning to eat and exercise INTUITIVELY is key. Your body is unique, and it’s been trying to tell you what it needs, but you’ve been trained by society to listen to diet rules instead.

Creating a healthy body image is the basis for change, not the result of it. It’s a privilege to simply live and move. The only way we get to experience life is in our bodies. I eat greens and beans in the morning because I love my body enough to fuel it with good stuff. I feel so energized and powerful when I exercise, so I do it, not because I want to burn calories or punish myself for the vegan pizza or extra margarita.

At Vegan Life Coach Academy, our clients very quickly learn that the food and exercise become the easy part of the equation! Changing your beliefs about your body, so that you can come from a place of love, is the more difficult thing to do.

Coming from a place of love is also the only way to make lasting changes and move to a place of freedom from all of that self-doubt and counting macros and having the number on the scale or the size of your jeans rule your day.

If you want support with this topic, we invite you to join our Facebook group where you can find so many people who are on this journey with you!

Stephanie gives three strategies that will help to really bring awareness to those beliefs and help you challenge those negative beliefs about your body.

The first, Check Your Inner Critic. Having a negative body image is like having a critic in your head. The critic is a harsh, derogatory narrative that makes nasty comments about you. For example, “I look disgusting in this outfit” or “I can’t believe how fat I am”. The critic makes you feel awful, because you believe it.

Because you feel terrible about yourself, you look for ways to feel better. You may eat something, which gives momentary pleasure, but minutes later the critic is back to comment on how much of a pig you are for eating. One key to changing negative body image is to banish the critic, and learn self-acceptance. This means accepting yourself as you are, and to do this, we invite you to really challenge those critical thoughts.

A second strategy involves this exercise: Create a list of 10 things you love about your body…10 things that have nothing to do with weight. Stop focusing on the bits you don’t like and start seeing your body as a whole. Do you have a smile that lights up the room? Do you enjoy the way your body feels when you are hugging your boyfriend or girlfriend?

Think about not just attributes but experiences that you can only have with your body like finishing a hard workout, petting your dog, your first kiss…. Once you’ve created this list, use it to challenge those negative thoughts that your inner critic is throwing at you.

Finally, catch yourself when you go into COMPARISON MODE. This is a nasty habit that so many of us find ourselves in. It can be really challenging to stop because it has become so automatic and you do it a hundred times a day, but this behavior is not serving you.

In fact, the comparison game is causing you a lot of damage, so get very firm with drawing this internal boundary, and do NOT accept this from yourself any longer.

When you find yourself in this comparison trap ask yourself, am I being fair to myself or this other person? The answer is always NO. And then ask yourself what can I say that will be helpful for building a more realistic and positive body image? This takes a lot of self-discipline, but it isn’t unlike any other habit you have broken in the past.

Remember… reprogramming your mind and creating a healthy relationship with your body is a process! There is no “arrival” either, the process is life long, so you may as well embrace the ride.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

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Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

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23 Jun 2020

Tags: abundance, empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching

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How to Shift from Scarcity-Mode to a Life of Abundance and Freedom

Today’s mindset topic, abundance vs. scarcity, is one that has impacted my own life, as it has Stephanie’s, countless of our clients, as I’m guessing it has YOU too!

LISTEN/WATCH

Subscribe: Apple Podcast | Stitcher | Spotify | YouTube

*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.

We play a little game at the beginning of this episode and ask you to play along too! Stephanie says a word, and I say the first thing that pops into my head, and invite you to do the same. The words are

Comfort Zone
Money
Success
Sharing
Focus

I won’t spoil the fun by giving away my answers, but what I can tell you, is that my answers would have been a lot different four or five years ago.

I’ve learned so much about inviting abundance into my life, and in this episode I share my personal story about the moment EVERYTHING changed for me… the moment I made a decision from a place of abundance despite all my fears that came from living with a scarcity mindset my entire life. (I was potty-trained in an out house after all due to lack of indoor plumbing!)

The late Steven Covey coined the terms Scarcity Mindset and Abundance Mindset, and just so we are all on the same page, people who operate from a scarcity mindset believe that there is never enough. They really see life as having a finite amount of everything…money, success, love, recognition. It’s as if life were a pie, and if the person sitting beside them gets the biggest slice, then they simply won’t get dessert. They therefore cling to everything they have, afraid that at some point they are going to come up short.

When you have a scarcity mindset, thoughts and actions come from a place of lack When it’s time to make decisions, fear and paranoia set in, making it very difficult to make life decisions that will lead to self-growth and abundance. When you are living in scarcity mode, you create feelings of jealousy, stress, and anxiety because you are constantly comparing yourself to those around you and living in the fear of the unknown.

Stephanie also lived with a scarcity mindset most of her life. Don’t get me wrong by the way, we both have thoughts based on fears and scarcity at times to this day, we’re just able to recognize tham and work through them!)

Stephanie shares about how her scarcity mindset led her to some of the most costly decisions of her life, not to mention years of unhappiness

Fear of scarcity causes us to have tunnel vision… looking only at what is right in front of you for fear of there not being another option. You eat the chocolate cake because there may never be another chance to eat the chocolate cake. You settle for a less than ideal relationship because you may not have another chance to love. You choose the quick fix diet program rather than the long-term investment in your health and wellness.

We then talked about the flip side… the abundance mindset. An abundance mindset is one that flows out of a deep sense of personal worth and security. It is a belief that there is more than enough for everyone, and this where life becomes full and we are able to dream and think big. Abundance creates freedom.

Stephanie then gives you three ways to start you on your road to developing an abundance mindset.

The first is to focus on what you have. There is no quicker path away from scarcity than gratitude. When you focus on the things that you are most grateful for in your life, you naturally pull yourself out of the scarcity mindset. To show gratitude is to appreciate, and to appreciate literally means to increase in value. This actually creates the abundance.

Next, Look for the opportunity in life’s circumstances. When we are thrown curveballs in life, the temptation is to come at it from a scarcity perspective. “Why is this happening to me?” or “Why don’t I ever get ahead?”

There is another way to look at these circumstances however, and that’s to identify where the opportunity lies. What can I learn from this? This leads directly to abundance by producing growth and development.

I think we can look at all that is going on in the world right now, and discover that there are opportunities to be found.

For example, though COVID is a terrible virus that has caused much destruction and death, we can choose to look for those opportunities such as a slower pace of life and even a very chance for many to revisit the benefits of a healthy vegan lifestyle. The virus has also inspired many people, including my own boyfriend, to start their own online businesses.

We can also look at the horrific events that have sparked powerful protests across the country and world, as allowing us an opportunity to have very difficult conversations about racism, and begin working collectively to change the systemic injustices that have oppressed people of color throughout history.

Finally, develop the belief that you are enough. This can be the most challenging, but also the most impactful when moving from scarcity to abundance. So many of us struggle with our self-worth. The belief that we are not enough comes from a very deeply ingrained system that we are generally not conscious of. We challenge you to bring the subconscious programming keeping you in self-defeating thought patterns into your awareness.

When you find yourself comparing yourself to others or questioning if you are deserving, take a step back and view these thoughts with compassion and curiosity, then challenge them. Explore the feelings of unworthiness that are attached to these beliefs.

We won’t sugar coat this… Changing these deeply-ingrained core beliefs takes work. It requires an investment in yourself. For you to turn your scarcity to abundance, you must suspend your belief system for just a bit, and make that investment in your own development.

I share the stories of incredible clients like Dawn, who got the courage to not only invest in her growth by working with us, but afterward, by operating from abundance, a whole new career path opened up and she is happier, more fulfilled, and definitely wealthier financially.

We’ve had many clients actually get the courage to launch their own businesses, when they would have likely stayed in the security of the jobs they dreaded going to each day until they retired.

We’re not talking about voodoo magic here… It’s really about putting yourself in a position so that you are ready to receive, which has nothing to do with materialism or another person. It all begins with the belief that you’re worthy, and that everything you want and need are available to you.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach Academy | Episode 4 | Episode 7

CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

16 Jun 2020

Tags: empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching

Disordered Eating: Up Close & Personal (Episode 10)

Today’s topic is something many of you, our listeners, vegan and vegan-curious alike, have expressed is a struggle… disordered eating.

LISTEN/WATCH

Subscribe: Apple Podcast | Stitcher | Spotify | YouTube

*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.

First, please know you’re not alone in your struggle. In fact, statistics show 50-70% of Americans demonstrate a problematic relationship with food. Stephanie and I agree that well over 70% of our clients would say they find themselves in some really disordered eating cycles.

People are often surprised to discover that I hid my tumultuous relationship with food for well over a decade. I briefly tell my story in this episode.

We also discuss the difference between disordered eating and an eating disorder. An eating disorder is a diagnosis, and Stephanie describes how she believes her eating disorder really grew out of some very early disordered eating patterns.

Stephanie started restricting her food as early as 9 years old. She internalized a lot of messages that she was receiving. She was a girl that was tall and big for her age, hitting puberty very early, and she heard people’s well-intentioned words as truth… that something was wrong with her.

By the time she was 14, she was actively in binging and purging cycles, meeting the criteria for Bulimia. These cycles lasted until she got to the point where her life was completely unmanageable, and treatment was a necessity.

Disordered eating does have some of the same markers as an eating disorder, like anxiety about eating certain food groups, obsessive calorie counting, a rigid approach to exercise or eating patterns, and this is a big one… a self-worth based highly or even exclusively on body size or weight.

It’s important to recognize that just because someone’s patterns aren’t as extreme as a full-blown, diagnosable eating disorder, doesn’t mean that disordered eating isn’t problematic. We see this so often with our clients and the people that come to us regularly. They are locked in cycles that keep them stuck, and keep them locked inside these patterns of thinking and living out their limiting beliefs.

Our bodies are our vessel to experience the world. Spending years and years hating our bodies, preoccupied with counting calories and macros and minutes exercised limits our ability to live the life we really want. We are too preoccupied with these things to actually design lives that we love, BUT we don’t have to stay in that place. We don’t have to continue living locked into these disordered eating cycles.

Stephanie encourages you, if you think you are struggling with disordered eating, to ask yourself some hard questions and look at the quality of your life and price you are paying for being so preoccupied with these thoughts and patterns that are not serving you.

If what we talk about in this episode resonates with you in some way, we want you to get out a pen and paper and really think about your answers to some really hard questions about your relationship with food.

Do you use food or food restriction as a way to cope with life’s uncomfortable and negative emotions?

Are you lonely or feel disconnected from others because you restrict your social life based on gatherings that involve food or a rigid and inflexible exercise routine?

How uncomfortable are you with food and your body?

Do you find negative thoughts about food and your body take up a lot of your time or cause you to fall into an anxiety loop?

If so, it’s time to ask yourself one more question: How much more time are you willing to waste before you find freedom from this?

The word “freedom” is the number one word clients who we’ve helped build a healthy relationship with food and their bodies use. People like Erin, who literally carried around a scale in her purse to restaurants trying to stick with the plan her trainer gave her, and she still couldn’t lose those last 10 pounds (until she worked with us)!

Then there’s Valerie, who counted every morsel and chose a travel bag of chips over an apple so she’d know the exact numbers. And don’t get me wrong… She lost 100 pounds, but when she came to us she was terrified at gaining it back because she knew HOW she was losing the weight was unhealthy and unsustainable. And guess what… She is now free, healthy, and happier than ever a year later, eating vegan and eating intuitively!

We’ve worked with 18 years olds up to 70 year olds. It’s amazing to be able to help teenagers like April (we’ve changed her name to protect privacy) who was 18 and had her whole life ahead of her. It’s equally as gratifying to work with people who are later in their lives, to break free from the prison of disordered eating for basically the first time in their lives. We helped them master their mindset with our SECS (episodes 4 & 7) and everything else in their lives started falling into place, and new opportunities began to open for them.

This all leads back to our mindset. Believe it or not, disordered eating has very little to do with food. Disordered eating patterns are really about questioning our ability to base our worth on something other than outward appearance or even that we are worthy at all.

Disordered eating is based in our relationships with our bodies, which are mentally and emotionally very complex, but healing those relationship really starts with becoming incredibly aware of how we speak to ourselves.

Getting relentless with our thoughts, really challenging that inner critic, is the first step in the healing process. We’ve got to tell that inner critic that we’re on to her!

The Self Empowerment Coaching System is really useful in challenging those thoughts and seeing them for what they are.

Challenging those thoughts, not letting them pass without a solid examination, approaching them with compassion and curiosity, that’s the way to freedom from these disordered eating patterns.

Stephanie wraps things up with one strategy you can use to start making powerful shifts. It will likely feel very artificial, but try it anyway. Write a letter to yourself and outline what your life would look like if you were free of all of the preoccupation with, and negative patterns of, disordered eating. Then tell yourself why you love yourself, saying, “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere until we have this figured out.” Then, write out your commitments to healing, exactly what you are going to do to fight for your freedom from the pain, self-doubt, and anxiety.

It’s incredibly important to keep commitments to yourself if you are serious about being free from these destructive patterns and creating a healthy relationship with food. One of those commitments might be writing out some affirmations to say every day. One could be to take some time to simply do the above exercise, ask yourself some really hard questions, and do some journaling around the subject.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Episode 4 | Episode 7

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Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

09 Jun 2020

Tags: empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching