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Episode 21 | Vegan Life Coach Academy

Boundaries Part 2 (The Vegan Life Coach Podcast Episode 22)

If you haven’t listened to episode 21, part 1 of our 2-part series on boundaries, check it out HERE first!

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.

Setting and sustaining boundaries is a skill. Unfortunately, it’s a skill that many of us didn’t necessarily learn growing up. We may have picked up a few pointers here or there, but in reality, it can be very challenging and feel really uncomfortable when we first begin setting those boundaries.

I have a few steps that will help get you started.

Step #1

First, look to your emotions to help you name your limits. Two really good indicators of boundary violations are discomfort and resentment. If you are feeling uncomfortable, you can likely point to a boundary being violated from the outside.

If you are feeling resentment, that is often an indicator that you have pushed yourself beyond your limit to avoid feelings of guilt, or you are giving in to someone imposing their expectations or views on you. You are responding by violating our own limits.

Step #2

Pay attention to your feelings and become clear about your own limits, both internally and externally. You can’t set good boundaries if you’re unsure of where you stand.

Identify your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual limits. Consider what you can tolerate and accept, and identify what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed. Those feelings coupled with your understanding of your values help us identify what our limits are.

Take a moment to think of some examples of where your limits might be. For example, you may find that you are uncomfortable when your best friend asks you for money. This might be a mental and emotional limit that you are wanting to set with your friends and family. You do not lend money because everyone has a different philosophy when it comes to money, and it is something that tends to cause a lot of conflict, so that is your particular limit.

Another might be that you become stressed when your children have a lot of the neighborhood kids over. Maybe this is your line. Your children can play with the neighborhood kids in the yard or the garage but not in the house. This is an example of setting a physical boundary.

Maybe your partner expects you to take on the bulk of the responsibility for the household; however, this is something that you find impossible to do successfully. It is okay to set the boundaries for those areas that you are willing to take responsibility for and no more.

Step #3

The next step is to give yourself permission to set boundaries and work to preserve them. When setting new boundaries, emotional pitfalls can cause us to wonder why we deserve to have boundaries in the first place. Fear, guilt and self-doubt are big potential pitfalls.

It can feel strange when we start to set boundaries because we aren’t used to creating these limits. We might fear the other person’s response if we set and enforce our boundaries. We might feel guilty by speaking up or saying no to a family member. For example, many believe that they should be able to cope with a situation or say yes because they’re a good daughter or son, even though they “feel drained or taken advantage of.” This can cause some self doubt… So much so that we might wonder if we even deserve to have boundaries in the first place.

It’s important to keep going back to why you set the boundaries in the first place. Creating that line and holding to it creates a healthier you and healthier relationships in the long run.

Boundaries are all about honing in on your feelings and honoring them. If you notice yourself slipping and not sustaining your boundaries, ask yourself some questions…

What’s changed from when I set this limit? Consider the situation. “What I am doing or [what is] the other person doing?” or “What about this situation is making me resentful or uncomfortable or stressed?”

Then, examine your options: “What am I going to do about the situation?” “What do I have control over?”

You might also consider the roles you play, and commit to putting yourself as the leading role in your life. It is not only okay, but also necessary to put yourself first and to consider your needs just as important as the needs of others.

Prioritize self-care. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish… It is necessary for a healthy life. Putting yourself first also gives you the energy, peace of mind, and positive outlook to be more present with others and be there for them. When we’re in a better place, we can be a better wife, mother, husband, co-worker or friend.

Step #4

If you’re having a hard time with boundaries, seek some support, whether that means finding a support group, church, or seeking counseling, coaching or time with good friends.

About 13 years ago, I went through a divorce. It was painful and devastating as most divorces are. But when I came out of the emotional haze, I started really analyzing what went wrong.

It came down to boundaries…. I didn’t have any, and my ex didn’t meet a boundary he couldn’t violate. I knew it was imperative that I build them. First of all, I didn’t have them in my marriage, and I didn’t have them anywhere.

Secondly, I had to form a new relationship with this person…We had children and he wasn’t going away. Finding support was the key. I found a church that had a support group based on forming boundaries and the book, Boundaries: When to Say Yes and How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by John Townsend and Henry Cloud.

The support group was a game changer, not only for my relationship with my ex husband but for my relationships with others. I don’t think this would have been possible without the education and support that I took hold of during that time. I can tell you now that my ex husband and I have a great relationship. One in which my children never have to choose between their parents, and one in which I can honestly say that he and I are friends.

Step #5

It’s not enough to create boundaries; we actually have to follow through. Even though we know intellectually that people aren’t mind readers, we still expect others to know what hurts us, or makes us uncomfortable or stressed. Since they don’t know, it’s important to assertively communicate this when a boundary is crossed. Most of the time, it is just about being direct and communicating respectfully with the other person (or yourself) so that you can work it out together.

I want to point out that there is a world of difference between being assertive and being aggressive. To hold firm to healthy boundaries it’s vital to communicate those before you feel the need to become aggressive with another individual.

Being Assertive puts forth your needs and views confidently and directly. Being assertive is simply standing up for yourself while still considering that others have different views than your own and that yours are equally important. It is becoming your own best advocate.

Aggressive behaviors can sometimes look like you’re living the life of a Neanderthal, where the biggest club is equal to the loudest voice. I’ve noticed in my own work that sometimes aggressiveness is mistaken for strength, when in fact, aggressiveness really notes a lack of control and a lack of respect for boundaries.

Like any new skill, assertively communicating your boundaries takes practice. So, if this is something new to you, I suggest starting with a small boundary that isn’t threatening to you, and then incrementally increasing to more challenging boundaries. Build upon your success. Setting boundaries takes courage, practice and support.

If you aren’t used to setting these limits with people, it can be difficult at first. Your inner people pleaser will be screaming at the top of her lungs! That’s okay. Let her scream, and start with something small.

Maybe you will want to start with your partner and block off an hour of time on the weekends where you do something completely for yourself and by yourself while he or she takes the responsibilities of the kids.

Maybe it is less threatening to start with a co-worker who is often teasing you about your healthy food choices or your vegan food choices, and you simply have a conversation with that person about not appreciating the teasing and why.

Maybe it is with your children and the amount of money you are spending on their impulse buys at the grocery store, and setting the limit before you go that you are only buying the things that are on your list and if they request something extra, you will say, “No.”

As you build confidence in this, that inner people-pleaser will stop screaming, and you can start on the bigger boundaries where you anticipate a little more push back from those around you.

– Stephanie Hamilton Aguilar, Vegan Life Coach Academy, Master Mindset Coach

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

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01 Sep 2020

Stephanie Aguilar

Going Vegan Tips, Podcast, Vegan Fitness, Vegan Lifestyle

Tags: empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, personal boundaries

Vegan Life Coach Academy

Boundaries (The Vegan Life Coach Podcast Episode 21)

We hear the word, “boundaries” thrown around a lot, but many people lack a clear picture of what they really are, or at least why they are important.

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In this episode we dive deep into the topic of boundaries, which are key for healthy relationships. Healthy relationships have a balance of both togetherness and separateness. Boundaries really just define the lines that set us apart from those in our lives. And this is an important part of making empowered choices, both when it comes to our personal growth and daily activities as well as those choices we might make with another person.

Something that may surprise people… Boundaries are a measure of self-worth. Our self-worth has everything to do with the way that we value ourselves. And, if we have a high self-worth, if we really value ourselves, that value is NOT contingent on the feelings others have towards us. As we value ourselves less, our self-worth diminishes, and we place a much higher value on another person’s feelings toward us. We can see this play out in our values in really five different ways:

Intellectual Worth and Boundaries: I am entitled to my thoughts and opinions just as you are entitled to yours.
Emotional worth and boundaries: You are entitled to your own feelings to a given situation, as are others.
Physical worth and boundaries: You are entitled to your space, however wide it may be, as are others.
Social worth and boundaries: You are entitled to your own friends and to pursuing your own social activities, as are others.
Spiritual worth and boundaries: You are entitled to your own spiritual beliefs, as are others.

When you break it down into these five areas, it’s really easy to see where boundaries get violated as well as where they get drawn. It’s also much more clear as to what a toxic relationship, with both yourself and others, may look like.

When we talk about toxic relationships, this is often difficult to define. Toxic relationships are marked by a lack of personal boundaries or the inability to maintain those boundaries set. Healthy relationships have a balance of both togetherness and separateness. Boundaries really just define the lines that set us apart from those in our lives. This is an important part of making empowered choices, both when it comes to our personal growth and daily activities, as well as those choices we might make with another person.

We can start by creating limits on acceptable behavior from yourself as well as those around you. A healthy life is marked by good boundaries. This is because we have to create healthy boundaries in our relationships with ourselves.

Just as you would never tell your best friend she was worthless or ugly, this is a limit I encourage you to set for yourself. The feeling of discomfort when you’ve spent way over your budget… The discomfort is a signal that you’ve crossed a personal boundary. These are healthy guidelines and limits that we set for ourselves because we have established that we have self-respect and limits to our behaviors in the relationship we have with ourselves.

Three Parts to Setting Healthy Boundaries

First, have a clear understanding of what your limits are. For this it’s important to have clarity on what your values and commitments are.

Our limits are really an extension of our values and commitments. For example, one of my boundaries with my children is that they are not allowed to use my bathroom. I value time alone, and that became a pretty big issue when I became a mom. I set this physical boundary that has a big emotional impact for me. I know that I need a space that is mine because I need a break from the outside world, including my beloved kiddos.

Another boundary for me is with my co-workers. I know my tendency to be a people pleaser. I was brought up in the Midwest, and still live here today. There was no higher compliment to pay someone than to say, ”She would give you the shirt off her back,” and I know for me, I probably would. The problem came when I was fulfilling the needs of everyone, even the people at work that weren’t particularly significant in my life. I had to start saying the word, “No” to the people in my workplace. I was able to start doing this by delegating more of the duties that were simply not mine to complete, but had fallen to me because I was simply too “nice.”

Second, it is not enough to know where your limits are. You also have to communicate and maintain those limits effectively. Knowing our boundaries and setting them are two very different hurdles to overcome.

Setting boundaries does not always come easily. It’s often a skill that needs to be learned. As renowned psychologist Albert Bandura noted, much of human social learning comes from modeling behavior, so if we do not have adequate role models whose behavior we can encode through observation and later imitate, we are at a loss, often left fumbling and frustrated.

Finally, we have to come to the understanding of why this is important. I think this is the perfect phrase to define what boundaries really mean. It is ”knowing where you end and I begin.” It is that sense that there is a separateness that makes you, you, and me, me, and that if we blurr those lines of separation, we both end up unhappy and unhealthy.

In the next episode we will be giving you the exact steps you can take to effectively implement boundaries into your life and relationships… Boundaries that can empower you to start moving through the world with more confidence, joy, peace, and freedom!

-Stephanie Hamilton Aguilar, Vegan Life Coach Academy, Master Mindset Coach

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

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04 Aug 2020

Tags: empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching, time management, vegan fitness

Vegan Life Coach Academy | Episode 4

Episode 17: The Busyness Trap

Busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to. -Rob Bell

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Busyness is not a reality, it’s only your perceived reality. It’s a state of mind, meaning it’s all in your head, coming from your thoughts.

Think about it, for someone who’s used to doing very little, having a few errands to run one day can have him/her saying, “It’s a busy day.” It’s simply about WHAT you’re busy doing!

Busyness is a perception of your reality. Life is made up of present moments, and life therefore cannot be busy. Only your mind can be busy. We’ve programmed our brains to believe being busy is how we operate, and that it’s outside of our control. We’ve created a personality of being busy, and our personality creates our personal reality!

We are the energy we create and put out into the Universe, so as long as we keep saying we’re busy, we will always let busyness run our lives and keep us in a state of overwhelm.

Saying you’re busy is also a great cop-out. It’s an easy excuse. We can justify anything by blaming it on being busy.

The word “busy” tends to have a negative connotation in a lot of cases because of the feelings of overwhelm, worry, and anxiety that come along with it. Busy can also have a positive connotation though. If you’re an entrepreneur and you’re busy with an influx of business, chances are you are pumped and excited about being busy!

So, what are you really telling yourself when you say you’re busy? What are you making it mean?

The thought, “I’m busy,” could mean, “I don’t think I have enough time to check everything off my to-do list” which can trigger negative emotions/anxiety. Consider this though… There will ALWAYS be something on your to-do list! Once you check one thing off, you add another. There is no “arrival.” So what are you in such a hurry for? This is a journey!

When you think, “I’m busy,” ask, “So what? What does that really mean?” Maybe it’s that you have booked your schedule solid and did not plan for any rest, time to simply “be”, or for self-care including meal prepping and being physically active in an enjoyable way.

Being busy has nothing to do with being productive. In fact, thinking you’re busy is counter-productive. If your mental space is consumed with thoughts of how busy you are, that space and mental energy is not being used to actually get anything accomplished. It’s more of a distraction than anything.

By the way, you simply can’t be busy (or think you’re busy) when you’re truly living in the present moment. So when you decide on what you’re doing during a certain time frame, be there and put your full attention and focus on that thing you’re doing. Like magic, the busyness disappears. Why? Because it actually doesn’t exist! That’s why being present is one major antidote to busyness.

Great things happen when we give up the myth of busyness. In the mindset of busyness, the thought is often, “my plate is full.” But watch what happens when you give up the notion that you’re busy. All of a sudden, your plate actually expands. It’s quite amazing!

We encourage you to commit to going the next month without saying, “I’m busy.” And when you think it, acknowledge the thought, and come up with a new thought to clarify what’s really going on.

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We’d love to hear about your experience listening to this episode, and how helpful you found it to be (or not to be)! Email [email protected]. I read and reply to every email myself because your feedback is so incredibly valuable… This podcast is for YOU!

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21 Jul 2020

Tags: cravings, curing cravings, empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching, vegan fitness

Vegan Life Coach Academy | Episode 4

Episode 15: Vegan Fitness – Why You Can’t Outrun Your Fork

I was recently asked to give a talk about vegan fitness. I had to think about what valuable information and insights I bring to an audience… I mean, who doesn’t already know that it’s important to make consistent exercise a part of your lifestyle?

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Exercise has been a part of my life since I was 5 years old, starting on the swim team, gymnastic team, dance classes, and later, after my growth spurt, volleyball in high school.

From there I became a gym rat and personal trainer. I even won first place in the bikini division of the Fame World Championships, which I did to prove that it was possible as a vegan in fitness, at a time when many people didn’t even know what the word vegan meant, and those who did, thought of vegans not as fitness buffs, but rather as scrawny hippies who grew armpit hair and didn’t wear deodorant.

What I found, working in fitness, was that the industry had very little concern for true health. Instead, it was all about what you looked like on the outside. And for me, having become a walking billboard for the strong, lean physique that was possible to build as a vegan, I put a ton of pressure on myself to stay in fighting shape in order to inspire others to go vegan.

I became programmed to believe that my worth was based on the shape of my body and it sent me down the road of disordered eating and a distorted body image.

To the world I looked like the shining example of a healthy, fit vegan, but I felt like a fraud, because I was not healthy mentally or emotionally.

Maybe you have that voice inside your head that says, “I’ll be happy when… (fill in the blank). I’ll be happy when I lose this weight, or when I’ve got the body I’ve always wanted.”

Well we’re here to tell you that happiness is not on the other side of weight loss. It’s actually the other way around! Weight loss is on the other side of happiness.

It’s important to change your mindset around exercise and (vegan) fitness from what most people use as motivation… a means to lose weight, to a means of being strong, healthy and active into old age with weight loss often being a welcomed side effect.

In this episode we give you three shifts that you can make starting today to create a vegan lifestyle that will result in a strong, healthy, fit, body for life. These are shifts we help people make permanently through the Vegan Life Coach Academy membership.

Shift #1 is based on the philosophy that you can’t outrun your fork. What I mean is that no matter how insanely hard you workout, if you’re not fueling your body with nutrient packed whole plant foods, you won’t achieve a healthy, fit body, at least not for long.

First off, you can only over-train for so long before your body starts to break down, from overuse injuries, to acute injuries, to adrenal fatigue. (I have experienced all three thanks to all my years of over-training).

Second, let me ask you a question: You know what burpees are right?

Well most people, myself included have a love hate relationship with burpees because they are one of the toughest, yet most effective total body exercises that exist.

How many burpees do you think it takes to burn off the calories in just 3 Oreo cookies (which are accidentally vegan by the way)?

Over 100! Yes, that’s right, so if you’ve ever eaten something, thinking, “It’s okay, I’ll burn off these calories at the gym tomorrow,” good luck! Constantly working out for the purpose of burning off calories you feel guilty about consuming will keep you spinning your wheels, frustrated, and exhausted.

So I encourage you to use food and exercise as complements to each other. Use food to fuel your body so that it can perform at it’s best, so you can be energized and feel strong day in and day out.

This leads me to Shift #2: Loving yourself unconditionally is a prerequisite for changing your body. In other words, transformation occurs from the inside out.

This can be a tough concept to wrap your head around right?

We spend so much time and energy doing research and trying to find the right meal and workout plans to finally get us in good shape. But ultimately what happens? How often do you eat something, knowing very well it’s not going to help your cause?

How many times do you find yourself in a cycle of self-sabotage, where you are super motivated, stick to a strict diet, and exercise like a crazy person, only to eventually find your willpower has run out, your life is completely out of balance, and you end up “falling off” the wagon, overeating, under-exercising, and ending up back where you started or worse off?

Well what if we spent that time and energy first learning to respect and accept ourselves exactly as we are?

What if we truly loved ourselves, and started listening to our bodies, and making the choices that will serve us and our bodies best?

What if we started eating and exercising because we LOVE our bodies, not because we hate them?

I’ll tell you, because we have helped hundreds of clients do just that.

I’ll tell you about Mary, who enrolled in my program because she was pre-diabetic, had hypertension, and a decent amount of weight to lose.

She, like so many, said to me, “I’ve tried EVERYTHING” to which I asked, have you tried NOT dieting, and NOT trying to lose weight by burning calories at the gym? Have you tried overcoming the mental and emotional hurdles you may not even know are standing in your way?

Well, she had been through some individual therapy for some serious trauma she experienced as a child and teen. Despite the therapy, she was still carrying around the weight of shame, and the beliefs that she was unlovable and unworthy.

We gave her a safe space to be vulnerable, and the tools and coaching she needed to build a foundation of self-love, and when she did, everything else began to fall into place. When she began eating and exercising out of true love for herself, 25 pounds melted off, and she regained her health.

And finally, Shift #3: Get curious and find the fun in vegan fitness!

Let me tell you about my boyfriend Christian.

Christian grew up a band geek (his words not mine), so music was his thing, whereas vegan fitness and sports were mine.

Before I met him, he had the goal of getting up to 185 pounds by building muscle (don’t us women love it when men complain about not being able to gain weight?!).

He had hired a trainer and was meal prepping as his trainer recommended. Side note… When I first looked in his kitchen I was horrified, I mean absolutely horrified… from turkey burgers and canned tuna, to terrible protein and other supplement powders, to diet coke and seltzer water sweetened with aspartame and sucralose).

He was working his ass off at the gym and was seeing very little results.

He was beyond frustrated, and not long after we started dating, he got on board the vegan train, but fell off the wagon when it came to exercise. “What’s the point?” he asked me.

Well, I threw a lot of points at him! I told him that getting big muscles was one aesthetic reason to workout, but what about all the benefits that would set him up for a lifetime of activity? The strength, mobility, flexibility and agility you can get from different types of exercise. The heart health he could experience as he prevented heart disease. Fending off back problems and osteoporosis as well.

What if he could find motivation in wanting to feel his best and enjoy a high level quality of life into old age? If you really think about it, our looks are going to change regardless. We get older, we get wrinkles, we get age spots, things sag, but if you’re able to continue to move with ease and access the joy and freedom from within, the golden years really will feel golden!

That being said, I like to get creative and have fun, which often means mixing things up.

I go through phases where I’m really into one type of physical activity, let’s say training and sparring Muay Thai, and then I’ll go through a phase where I’m into calisthenics, and then heavier lifting, or cycling, the possibilities are endless.

So recently, Christian and I came up with a competition between the two of us. I’d call it a friendly competition, but we’re both competitive so there’s a lot of friendly shit-talking taking place let me tell you!

And what will happen after our competition? I’m not sure! Maybe Christian will be in the flow, feeling so good from the inside out he will keep it up on a more moderate level. Maybe he’ll be achy and ready to join me for some yoga. Maybe we’ll take couples yoga classes, or I’ll join him for some workouts at the park or track since. We’ll see! I’m not worried because there’s always a solution when you think outside the box.

So ask yourself, “What could I do to make working out something I WANT to do?” Give it some thought!

Here are some ideas:

Take on fun challenges.
I’m a huge proponent of classes, though right now with the Pandemic they may have to be virtual. I really like the Social/community aspect of classes, the energy, and accountability. Have you tried (Kick)boxing classes, indoor cycling, or bootcamps?
What about yoga, which has become a moving meditation I can’t live without. (And if you “hate yoga” I get it. I resisted it for years until I found the style and instructors that worked for me at which point it was life-changing!)
There are also programs that last a certain number of weeks/months which make it possible to really test your progress if that motivates you.
And what about recreational sports like tennis, volleyball, cycling, swimming, that you could make part of your weekly routine?

Don’t think, just do! You talk yourself into going to work, and doing things for the people you love, not necessarily because you feel motivated, but because it’s a responsibility you’ve chosen. Time to choose exercise as one of those responsibilities!

I’ll finish up here with this thought…

You are not a body. You have a body. You are a soul. Take care of your body, so you have a healthy vessel for your soul to reside while you navigate this game we call life.

We encourage you to join our uniquely powerful and compassionate Empowered Vegan Life group on Facebook for more coaching and support around this topic.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

14 Jul 2020

Empowerment, Holistic Health, Podcast, Vegan Lifestyle

Tags: empowerment, going vegan, healthy vegan lifestyle, kale

Black Health Matters with Gigi The Vegan

We are so excited for our listeners to hear this episode!

We have a really fantastic guest today who has a fascinating story about how she healed her body with food as her medicine. She didn’t stop with her own health though… She started a health movement in Kansas City, focusing on the Black community in particular. Her name is Annette Jones, but she’s better known as Gigi The Vegan.

Gigi is leading the way for black women entrepreneurs and vegan businesses in the Kansas City Area. Stephanie came to know Gigi through her line of kale chips. (They are SO delicious!)

This week is Gigi’s birthday, and she is opening Gigi’s Vegan Cafe where she will not only be cooking up delicious and health-promoting meals, but also growing her own produce and providing a sanctuary for healing through meditation and other types of practices. Gigi is a beautiful soul and she is not afraid to tell her own story which includes her journey to becoming a vegan and healing her body from cancer.

In this episode, Gigi really opens up the conversation concerning systemic racism that has led to inadequate education and healthcare for the Black population in our country, in turn this has created a generational pattern that Gigi is fully committed to changing in her community.

In August of 2015, Gigi was diagnosed with colon cancer. Her doctor told her that she would need surgery but Gigi felt that she needed to find an alternative. At that time, she had a lot of stress in her life and wasn’t conscious of how she was eating, and wasn’t truly taking care of herself. That is when she decided to educate herself on cancer and how to make her body stronger for surgery.

But what happened was remarkable! After educating herself, Gigi decided to go the holistic route with an all raw, vegan lifestyle. She learned to combine different herbs together to heal her body, and now, Gigi has been given a clean bill of health!

It was more than just her diet Gigi changed. She also changed her mental health and stress levels. “It pretty much changed my entire life and my lifestyle. And since then, I decided to help others. I went to receive training through Parkinson’s Health Institute, as well as Dr. Campbell. And here I am. It wasn’t an easy journey for me, but it was the journey that I needed to take to make myself whole again. I’m getting another opportunity to do things over again with my children and grandchildren, inspiring them to change and live their best lives.”

At Vegan Life Coach Academy we place a high level of importance on mindset work. Mindset is important to Gigi as well, and meditation is now a vital part of her life. She had to reconnect with self and with God.

In a world where we are so busy taking care of other people, we often forget about ourselves. Gigi said she always tells people when they first start on their journey toward a healthy lifestyle, that the first thing they need to do is, “spend time with yourself. Get quiet.”

“Fill yourself up with so much love for yourself, and then we can distribute that to others.” And we couldn’t agree more. Gigi helps people become centered in quiet, and embody a state of peace.

Gigi attributes the success of her business to the mind, body, spirit connection.

“It doesn’t feel like a job. It just feels like something that I am supposed to do and I never get tired of doing it. I feel honored to be able to assist people, and their lifestyle goals and changes that they want to make in their life, and inspire others.”

Gigi’s desire to make a difference in her community is visible in everything she does . Gigi believes not only that black lives matter, but also that black health matters. She believes that African American health is in a state of emergency.

African Americans are leading the numbers when it comes to COVID deaths, high blood pressure and diabetes. Forty percent of African American men are hypertensive, and forty four percent for African American women. Thirty-seven percent of African American men, and fifty six percent of African American women struggle with obesity.

“So, for me, I think that there has to be a focus on black health care because black health care matters.” Gigi says. “I’m just here as a vessel to do the work, the information that I have, I just want to be able to give that to my community.”

And that is exactly what Gigi is doing with the opening of her cafe, Gigi’s Vegan & Wellness Cafe, where they grow much of their own food, as well as her line of Kale Chips, and her 21 Day Detox program.

It was an honor and pleasure to have Gigi on our show. Her story is so very inspiring. We want to wish Gigi the Happiest of Birthdays and massive success for her restaurant!

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MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach Academy | Gigi’s Wellness Cafe | Connect with Gigi on Instagram|Connect with Gigi Facebook | Gigi’s Website

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07 Jul 2020

Tags: cravings, curing cravings, empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching

Cravings: Causes and Cures

Let’s talk about food cravings! What are some of the foods you crave?

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*Learn about group and 1:1 coaching opportunities HERE.

If you’re curious about why you have cravings, and how to cure them, this episode is for you!

You may have heard me share my former struggles with foods like peanut butter and granola (we make plenty of jokes about my granola addiction, so feel free to make fun of me)!

For Stephanie, it’s the sugar that’s her kryptonite. She even tells us her dirty little secret that she’s a recovering Mountain Dew addict.

Every person experiences cravings differently, but often cravings are for processed “junk” foods because they are high in sugar, salt and fat (all of which are highly addictive.) The desire for these foods that don’t nourish our bodies can be so intense and seem uncontrollable to the point that your “hunger” might not be satisfied until you consume that particular food.

Cravings are not actually caused by the stomach or the taste buds, but the regions of the brain that are responsible for memory, pleasure, and reward… A powerful combination of forces! We remember how these foods make us feel, and we want to replicate the pleasure experience.

Our brains are so efficient at steering us to what is going to make us feel good. Unfortunately, this often overrides the centers of our brain that control our logic and reasoning. So it’s easy to see how food cravings present a major roadblock to forming new, healthier nutritional habits.

A couple of causes for the brain’s reaction that produce the cravings are very intimately connected. First is an imbalance of hormones such as leptin and serotonin. Commonly craved foods release endorphins after eating, which mirrors addiction in many ways. The brain knows how to make the body feel good, so it signals the craving to get the flow of endorphins, but after the flow, comes the crash.

As temporary as the relief is, junk food can fulfill the need for relief from negative emotions very quickly.

When it comes to overcoming or curing cravings for unhealthy foods, we give a number of helpful tips and strategies in this episode.

The mindset strategies we cover in this episode are an extension of our Self-Empowerment Coaching System (Episode 4).

One such strategy is as follows… When you feel like eating, give yourself a little test and ask yourself, “Would I eat kale right now (or any nutrient-dense plant food you like, but don’t feel addicted to)?” If the answer is yes, go right ahead and eat kale. If the answer is no, then you probably are not hungry and may be wanting to eat out of habit and/or to suppress emotions.

If eating to suppress emotions is any part of that answer, then it is time to take a step back and suspend your judgment. Look at yourself and your situation with compassion and curiosity, and then ask yourself some questions.

First, “What’s bothering me?” or “What’s really stressing me out?” Then, “What can I do about it?” And finally, “Why am I NOT doing something about it?” If you commit to facing the stress and underlying emotions first, you can usually bust through the craving.

In other words, you are really facing your stuff, rather than stuffing your face!

It’s really important to explore what’s underneath that has you looking for comfort, pleasure, and a reward that is momentary, and actually deal with the root issue rather than making a self-sabotaging choice.

By giving into a craving rather than dealing with the fuel behind it, you find yourself then dealing with guilt, sadness or stress about the craving and the rest of the muck that you were escaping from in the first place.

Remember this… It’s rarely about the food!

We encourage you to join our uniquely powerful and compassionate Empowered Vegan Life group on Facebook for more coaching and support around this topic!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Episode 4

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Interested in getting coaching? Learn more HERE

Want to work directly with Ella? Visit her website HERE and email her: [email protected]

30 Jun 2020

Tags: abundance, empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching

Vegan Life Coach Academy | Episode 4

Body Image: How You Can Love Your Body AND Change It Simultaneously

Today’s episode focuses on a topic that our listeners have been requesting… body image (a “fun” one I know)!

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.

The VAST majority of people are walking around uncomfortable in their own skin.

Most people that we encounter every single day have a negative view of their bodies, so if that’s you, you’re FAR from alone.

Stephanie and I can relate on both a personal level, and through the hundreds of clients we’ve worked with who struggle with their body image and self-esteem.

It’s important to make a distinction between self-esteem and body-image, because people often use those terms interchangeably. Though they can be intimately connected, they are actually quite different.

Body image is specific to the body while self-esteem is an evaluation of our worth as a whole, and is not just specifically related to our bodies. We can see the impact and the over emphasis many of us put on our physical bodies, and the way we feel about our physical bodies, has a large impact on how we really feel about ourselves.

I share about my struggles with body image, and Stephanie talks about how at one point, she was in such a horrible place with her body image that she would avoid pictures at all cost. This was even after taking care of the dysfunction of her eating disorder.

Stephanie talks about how, early in her law enforcement career, she became a part of the crisis negotiation team as a negotiator, and when it would come time to get fitted for uniforms or take team pictures, she would actually use a sick day to avoid having to participate. She realizes now how much time and energy she spent locked into core beliefs that weren’t serving her. (I’m not good enough. I’m not skinny, so I’m not worthy.)

We talk about clients like Erin who carried a scale around in her purse because she was so obsessed with her body image she couldn’t go out to eat without weighing and measuring her food.

One important distinction that we make, that was helpful for Erin and so many of our clients, was that you can love and accept your body for everything that it is and does in the present, while also working toward changing it on your quest to becoming the healthiest version of yourself.

In so many ways, the diet culture has really sold us a system that keeps them in business. If they continue to make our bodies the enemy and not the expert, then they are able to sell us on their products.

The truth is, no lasting change can occur until you start treating your body with love, acceptance, respect, and gratitude. The body is forgiving. It’s responsive and patient.

Learning to eat and exercise INTUITIVELY is key. Your body is unique, and it’s been trying to tell you what it needs, but you’ve been trained by society to listen to diet rules instead.

Creating a healthy body image is the basis for change, not the result of it. It’s a privilege to simply live and move. The only way we get to experience life is in our bodies. I eat greens and beans in the morning because I love my body enough to fuel it with good stuff. I feel so energized and powerful when I exercise, so I do it, not because I want to burn calories or punish myself for the vegan pizza or extra margarita.

At Vegan Life Coach Academy, our clients very quickly learn that the food and exercise become the easy part of the equation! Changing your beliefs about your body, so that you can come from a place of love, is the more difficult thing to do.

Coming from a place of love is also the only way to make lasting changes and move to a place of freedom from all of that self-doubt and counting macros and having the number on the scale or the size of your jeans rule your day.

If you want support with this topic, we invite you to join our Facebook group where you can find so many people who are on this journey with you!

Stephanie gives three strategies that will help to really bring awareness to those beliefs and help you challenge those negative beliefs about your body.

The first, Check Your Inner Critic. Having a negative body image is like having a critic in your head. The critic is a harsh, derogatory narrative that makes nasty comments about you. For example, “I look disgusting in this outfit” or “I can’t believe how fat I am”. The critic makes you feel awful, because you believe it.

Because you feel terrible about yourself, you look for ways to feel better. You may eat something, which gives momentary pleasure, but minutes later the critic is back to comment on how much of a pig you are for eating. One key to changing negative body image is to banish the critic, and learn self-acceptance. This means accepting yourself as you are, and to do this, we invite you to really challenge those critical thoughts.

A second strategy involves this exercise: Create a list of 10 things you love about your body…10 things that have nothing to do with weight. Stop focusing on the bits you don’t like and start seeing your body as a whole. Do you have a smile that lights up the room? Do you enjoy the way your body feels when you are hugging your boyfriend or girlfriend?

Think about not just attributes but experiences that you can only have with your body like finishing a hard workout, petting your dog, your first kiss…. Once you’ve created this list, use it to challenge those negative thoughts that your inner critic is throwing at you.

Finally, catch yourself when you go into COMPARISON MODE. This is a nasty habit that so many of us find ourselves in. It can be really challenging to stop because it has become so automatic and you do it a hundred times a day, but this behavior is not serving you.

In fact, the comparison game is causing you a lot of damage, so get very firm with drawing this internal boundary, and do NOT accept this from yourself any longer.

When you find yourself in this comparison trap ask yourself, am I being fair to myself or this other person? The answer is always NO. And then ask yourself what can I say that will be helpful for building a more realistic and positive body image? This takes a lot of self-discipline, but it isn’t unlike any other habit you have broken in the past.

Remember… reprogramming your mind and creating a healthy relationship with your body is a process! There is no “arrival” either, the process is life long, so you may as well embrace the ride.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

23 Jun 2020

Tags: abundance, empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching

How to Shift from Scarcity-Mode to a Life of Abundance and Freedom

Today’s mindset topic, abundance vs. scarcity, is one that has impacted my own life, as it has Stephanie’s, countless of our clients, as I’m guessing it has YOU too!

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*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.

We play a little game at the beginning of this episode and ask you to play along too! Stephanie says a word, and I say the first thing that pops into my head, and invite you to do the same. The words are

Comfort Zone
Money
Success
Sharing
Focus

I won’t spoil the fun by giving away my answers, but what I can tell you, is that my answers would have been a lot different four or five years ago.

I’ve learned so much about inviting abundance into my life, and in this episode I share my personal story about the moment EVERYTHING changed for me… the moment I made a decision from a place of abundance despite all my fears that came from living with a scarcity mindset my entire life. (I was potty-trained in an out house after all due to lack of indoor plumbing!)

The late Steven Covey coined the terms Scarcity Mindset and Abundance Mindset, and just so we are all on the same page, people who operate from a scarcity mindset believe that there is never enough. They really see life as having a finite amount of everything…money, success, love, recognition. It’s as if life were a pie, and if the person sitting beside them gets the biggest slice, then they simply won’t get dessert. They therefore cling to everything they have, afraid that at some point they are going to come up short.

When you have a scarcity mindset, thoughts and actions come from a place of lack When it’s time to make decisions, fear and paranoia set in, making it very difficult to make life decisions that will lead to self-growth and abundance. When you are living in scarcity mode, you create feelings of jealousy, stress, and anxiety because you are constantly comparing yourself to those around you and living in the fear of the unknown.

Stephanie also lived with a scarcity mindset most of her life. Don’t get me wrong by the way, we both have thoughts based on fears and scarcity at times to this day, we’re just able to recognize tham and work through them!)

Stephanie shares about how her scarcity mindset led her to some of the most costly decisions of her life, not to mention years of unhappiness

Fear of scarcity causes us to have tunnel vision… looking only at what is right in front of you for fear of there not being another option. You eat the chocolate cake because there may never be another chance to eat the chocolate cake. You settle for a less than ideal relationship because you may not have another chance to love. You choose the quick fix diet program rather than the long-term investment in your health and wellness.

We then talked about the flip side… the abundance mindset. An abundance mindset is one that flows out of a deep sense of personal worth and security. It is a belief that there is more than enough for everyone, and this where life becomes full and we are able to dream and think big. Abundance creates freedom.

Stephanie then gives you three ways to start you on your road to developing an abundance mindset.

The first is to focus on what you have. There is no quicker path away from scarcity than gratitude. When you focus on the things that you are most grateful for in your life, you naturally pull yourself out of the scarcity mindset. To show gratitude is to appreciate, and to appreciate literally means to increase in value. This actually creates the abundance.

Next, Look for the opportunity in life’s circumstances. When we are thrown curveballs in life, the temptation is to come at it from a scarcity perspective. “Why is this happening to me?” or “Why don’t I ever get ahead?”

There is another way to look at these circumstances however, and that’s to identify where the opportunity lies. What can I learn from this? This leads directly to abundance by producing growth and development.

I think we can look at all that is going on in the world right now, and discover that there are opportunities to be found.

For example, though COVID is a terrible virus that has caused much destruction and death, we can choose to look for those opportunities such as a slower pace of life and even a very chance for many to revisit the benefits of a healthy vegan lifestyle. The virus has also inspired many people, including my own boyfriend, to start their own online businesses.

We can also look at the horrific events that have sparked powerful protests across the country and world, as allowing us an opportunity to have very difficult conversations about racism, and begin working collectively to change the systemic injustices that have oppressed people of color throughout history.

Finally, develop the belief that you are enough. This can be the most challenging, but also the most impactful when moving from scarcity to abundance. So many of us struggle with our self-worth. The belief that we are not enough comes from a very deeply ingrained system that we are generally not conscious of. We challenge you to bring the subconscious programming keeping you in self-defeating thought patterns into your awareness.

When you find yourself comparing yourself to others or questioning if you are deserving, take a step back and view these thoughts with compassion and curiosity, then challenge them. Explore the feelings of unworthiness that are attached to these beliefs.

We won’t sugar coat this… Changing these deeply-ingrained core beliefs takes work. It requires an investment in yourself. For you to turn your scarcity to abundance, you must suspend your belief system for just a bit, and make that investment in your own development.

I share the stories of incredible clients like Dawn, who got the courage to not only invest in her growth by working with us, but afterward, by operating from abundance, a whole new career path opened up and she is happier, more fulfilled, and definitely wealthier financially.

We’ve had many clients actually get the courage to launch their own businesses, when they would have likely stayed in the security of the jobs they dreaded going to each day until they retired.

We’re not talking about voodoo magic here… It’s really about putting yourself in a position so that you are ready to receive, which has nothing to do with materialism or another person. It all begins with the belief that you’re worthy, and that everything you want and need are available to you.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach Academy | Episode 4 | Episode 7

CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

16 Jun 2020

Tags: empowerment, healthy vegan lifestyle, life coaching