28 Dec 2018
Empowerment, Guest Blog Posts, Holistic Health, Uncategorized
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How to Instantly Become a Sexy Fit Vegan

There it was… A comment on my Facebook post.  An unsolicited, petty cut on my generally upbeat, self-deprecating Facebook page.

“You aren’t my perception of a Sexy Fit Vegan…”

My first thought?

F*CK OFF.

And this is where I earned my crown as a Sexy Fit Vegan.  Now, I know that vulgarities generally don’t inspire regal images.  But, here I am, nonetheless, A Sexy Fit Vegan Bad Ass Queen.

The struggle to earn this has not been easy.  I have lived much of my adult life avoiding all criticism, insult, and slights.  Just a short time ago, my inner response wouldn’t have been nearly so bold. I would have found myself locked in self-doubt and punishment for days upon days because that comment would have only served to validate my own beliefs about myself.  I believed I wasn’t good enough to be sexy, fit, or vegan. Frankly, my daily life was an exercise in how invisible I could be.

And then, it all changed.

I was watching my daughter look at herself in the mirror, pulling at her clothes, tears in her eyes because she hated her new body and the curves that were springing in places that had been flat just months before.  She had previously been filled with self-confidence…more than self-confidence…a fearlessness that is uncommon in most humans I have known. At her core , that is just who she is: Brave and bold is the way she was born.

Now I watched her and realized I was watching myself.  She had learned this from me. She was putting aside her natural courage and confidence to play small, just like me.

No, I had never verbally criticized my body in front of her, but I didn’t have to. My years of striving to be invisible had spoken for me. And here it was…my legacy landed on my beautiful, fearless, bold daughter.  And the younger one was watching too.

And so, that day, I decided to love my body.

And, here’s how I did it:

  1. I acted.  I didn’t think.  I didn’t feel. I acted.  I invested in myself. I connected with Ella and the Plant Empowered Coaching Program.  I threw away all that I thought I knew about meal plans and exercise and micros and calories.  I trusted the process. I let it take me where I needed to go.
  2. I became relentless with the thoughts that weren’t serving me.  I chipped away at that belief that I wasn’t enough with evidence that I am MORE than enough and never too much.  I dug into the powerful self-coaching that Ella has so masterfully honed. I stepped back with curiosity and compassion to view these beliefs from a new perspective, and then I went to work becoming the master of my thoughts.
  3. I fully engaged in a vegan life.  These are my values. I could no longer put junk and suffering in my body.  I could no longer live in a way that didn’t fit with what I knew to be true for the sake of others’ comfort.  I had to live my values in the ultimate act of self-love.
  4. I began treating my body as I would treat anyone I love.  I made decisions about nutrition and movement out of a place of love.  I wouldn’t feed my children Mountain Dew and Doritos for supper, so why would I do this to myself?  I wouldn’t let my children miss a sports practice for a game that they love, so why would I miss a workout?  I wouldn’t allow anyone to speak unkindly to my children, so why would I allow me to do that to myself?

Somewhere along the way, I began to realize that I wasn’t just acting or deciding. I was believing. I no longer wanted to hide. My butt is still big. I have a mommy tummy.  My arms still jiggle. And I am fierce and loved. Not beautiful for a big girl. Not just a pretty face.  I am fully alive and engaged and independent and strong with all my curves and every imperfection. I am a Sexy Fit Vegan who makes decisions based in love of the body I have TODAY, not the one I might have tomorrow.

When I decided to love my body, my girls decided to love theirs.  Not long ago, the three of us decided to go shopping for new jeans.  We were in the checkout line, and a woman approached me. She said something every mother longs to hear, “You’re doing it right.” She went on, “ You and your girls are laughing and admiring your butts in the mirror.  Mine is still in the dressing room crying. You’re doing it right.”

And, you know what? I am. Now, I talk about how a banana and spinach make me feel alive in the morning. Now, I discuss what a badass I am after my kickboxing workout. Now, I look in the mirror and say out loud, “Damn, Girl!”  I am the example for my girls, not just the voice that tells them they’re beautiful. I’m the example that their own voices are the most important, truly, the only ones that matter

I watched this play out in another way just after that Facebook comment.  You see, I’ve taught my daughter something else through my actions. I’ve taught her to love herself enough to not engage in self-doubt because of someone else.  She had her first, young love break up this week. And when this little boy decided to dump her through text without explanation, her response was to say, “Grow some balls.”  Not, “What is wrong with me?” Not, “Why am i not good enough?” It was, “Grow some balls.” That’s my fearless, beautiful, bold girl!

So, forgive my sailor’s mouth when I say that one of my proudest accomplishments of this decade has been to respond to outside critics with “Fuck off”.  I am a Sexy Fit Vegan. I say that without apology or caveats.

My body continues to respond to my love, and if I never lose another pound I am still a Sexy Fit Vegan. I am fit and sexy and plus size and vegan. And another’s perception of what a Sexy Fit Vegan is simply makes no difference.  The fact is, no one gets to decide if I am a Sexy Fit Vegan but me.

08 Dec 2018
Empowerment, Vegan Lifestyle
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Why Self-Love is the Ultimate Gift to the World

My yoga teacher instructed the class to give yourself a big hug and say, “I love me!” the other day. Most people in the class giggled, a few people rolled their eyes, and a couple others took the request very seriously. What would you have done?

I was a giggler. A few years ago I would have laughed it off completely. Even though I giggled this time, I didn’t brush it off. All I could think about was the transformational power of self-love, as demonstrated by countless clients whose lives have been forever changed by the teaching we are now doing at Vegan Life Coach Academy.

For me, overcoming shame by learning to love myself unconditionally was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done (it only took me 35 years ;)). It was also the most empowering thing I’ve ever accomplished. There is simply NO WAY anyone can even come close to reaching their true potential and living a meaningful life without having unconditional love for oneself.

At some point in my teenage years I created the story that I was not enough. Who I was and what I was capable of would never be good enough. I hid behind my strong conviction for saving animals.

For well over a decade I suffered in silence. My passion for veganism was what got me out of bed every morning. Understanding my purpose on this earth, to fight for the rights of animals, kept me going day in and day out despite the depression, anxiety, disordered eating, distorted body image, and insomnia I was experiencing.

Although I knew logically what was going on, (I had my Master’s Degree in Social Work and recognized the shame) I could not for the life of me figure out how to truly love myself.

What I didn’t realize was the amount of courage it was going to take to heal. Why courage? As Brene Brown says, “The antidote to shame is vulnerability,” and when I finally was able to figure out how to share my story, without being attached to the outcome (other people’s opinions), I was able to finally take my power back.

Wondering how this relates to veganism, fitness, and the holidays? I’ll tell you!

First of all, veganism is all about acting according to your values, and as I teach in the Coaching Program, this requires you to be able to make conscious and mindful choices about what you eat and how you live. It is impossible to consistently make the choices that will serve you best if you don’t love yourself. When I say “serve you best” I mean physically, mentally, AND emotionally.

When it comes to fitness, at the Vegan Life Coach Academy we talk about exercising because you love your body, not because you hate it. And how do you expect to love your body, no matter what shape you’re in, if you don’t love yourself as a whole being?

Last, the holidays are a time to spread love generously. Only when we love and take care of ourselves can we truly love and take care of others. It’s that simple. You can’t give away what you don’t have.

I encourage you to give yourself the most life-changing gift you could ever receive this year… the gift of self-love. Rest assured that your self-love will also be a gift to everyone around you as well.

If this resonates with you, and you’re ready to do the work it takes to learn how to eat, move, and live in a way that will bring you not only health and happiness, but also a meaningful life, I encourage you to check out our new Visionaries Membership. We help our members face the blocks that are keeping them stuck and the hurdles that are standing in their way in order to put a game plan together for them to move powerfully forward in your life. There is never a “right” or “convenient” time to dive into this tough, transformational work, so why wait? Let’s do this!!

04 Dec 2018
Empowerment, Going Vegan Tips, Vegan Lifestyle
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Beyond Survival… How to Thrive As a Vegan Over the Holidays

Wouldn’t it be fantastic if the holiday season was a time when you were able to simply focus on spreading love, experiencing joy, and spending valuable time with family? How incredible would it feel to be free from all the extra pressure you put on yourself to make sure everyone else is happy? What would it mean to you to be free from secretly stressing about how you’re going to avoid splurging too much and gaining that extra weight you seem to pack on before heading into every New Year (when you plan to have a “fresh start” of course)?

As I mentioned in my last blog post, the holidays used to be an incredibly stressful time for me due to my struggles with disordered eating and a distorted body image. If that’s a struggle for you too, check out last week’s post as well as the Facebook Live event we did in the Empowered Vegan Life Facebook Group.

The focus of this post is on the other stressor that many of our Plant-Empowered Coaching Program clients also face… Being vegan around critical relatives who just don’t get it.   

I’ve got great news for you!  I’m here to help you write a new story for your holiday this year.

It’s important to first understand that you have no control over how other people think, feel, or act. Therefore, you must let go of trying to change anyone else and focus on “doing you!”

This year, instead of apologizing for being “difficult,” I encourage you to be proud and confident about your decision to go vegan. Don’t play small and hide.

Think about it… By acting (eating) in line with your values you’re setting an incredible example for those you love, no matter how hard a time they give you. I invite you to be unattached to the outcomes and simply shine your light on those around you. Then, instead of jumping to conclusions, sit back and observe what happens with curiosity and compassion (which is also how our clients learn to approach THEMSELVES)!

Choosing a mantra or two to say to yourself every time someone is critical or pushes your buttons can really help. Some of my favorites are:

“No one can make me feel inferior without my consent.”

“They are doing the best they can with what they have.”

“The only approval I need is my own.”

“What they say is a reflection of them, not me.

”I choose to courageously speak my truth with love.”

Will this be uncomfortable at first? Yes! Do it anyway! Head to your gathering without expectations. Bring a vegan dish or two to share. Focus on the precious time with your family instead of focusing on the food and eating. All too often we don’t consider that time with family precious until those people have passed. Living in gratitude makes all the difference in the world.

Basically, consciously using the holiday as an opportunity to work on YOURSELF is key to continue powerfully down the path to not only a health and happy life, but also a meaningful life.

12 Nov 2018
Empowerment, Vegan Lifestyle
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Diaries of a Dating Vegan (Me)!

Vegan Dating

Until a couple months ago I had been on a dating hiatus, putting all my vibrant vegan energy into my incredibly rewarding work transforming lives with the Plant-Empowered Coaching Program.

In fact, my last relationship ended over three years ago! 

Looking back, was I disappointed when we broke up? Yes. Was it a shock? Not at all.

Although there were multiple factors that led up to the split, ultimately, at the root, there was such a huge difference in core values that my growth as a human being was being stifled.

I don’t play the blame game. I take full responsibility for the consequences of staying in a toxic relationship for many years. Now, over three years later, however, I am able to approach myself and my past with curiosity and compassion instead of contempt and ridicule.

Being so clear on the value I place on the well-being of animals since I was seven years old is something I am eternally grateful for. At the same time, having my identity be so connected to veganism, starting long before the average person even knew what the word vegan meant, has made dating and relationships especially challenging.

On November 11th, 2018, for the first time in my life, I realized how vital it is that I build a long-term relationship with someone who, quite simply, gives a shit, someone who feels compelled to make choices based on love and compassion, instead of hate and fear, someone who opens their heart and mind and thinks for themselves instead of taking what they’re taught by society as “the way it is,” someone who respects and values ALL life and the planet as a whole, someone who is driven to live a meaningful life in abundance instead of making decisions from a place of greed and scarcity. This also means supporting leaders who care about giving a voice to the voiceless and protecting our environment, instead of choosing to have tunnel vision and voting with his wallet.

I was at the Yard House in South Beach for Sunday Funday football, sitting at a table with the guy I was dating and a guy friend that I’m not close with. I won’t go into many details, but here’s the gist of what went down. The boys started talking, and when it turned political, I sat quietly listening. I also sat quietly as they covered the topic of plant-based eating. I found it interesting that not one time was I asked my opinion or for input, despite being the obvious expert on plant-based diets. For the most part I just wanted to listen anyway, though I couldn’t help but to jump in a few times. 

As surprised as I was to hear my friend ask for my date’s political views (we’ve never talked politics on Sunday Funday before), I was equally as grateful to be able to listen to the conversation, and here’s what I learned throughout their conversation. 

My date votes with his wallet above all else, above human rights, environmental protection, and certainly above animal welfare. I learned that he finds the current political situation somewhat “entertaining”. I learned that bringing him to numerous powerful vegan events during the Seed Food and Wine Festival that week, introducing him to my amazing world-renowned network of vegan health, wellness, and fitness professionals, had so little impact that it wasn’t even worth mentioning in a relevant discussion. I even learned that a qualified woman sports reporter is only worthy of announcing if she’s young and pretty.

It only took a few minutes after they started talking to develop a knot in my stomach and to feel all of a sudden very alone and deflated. As I looked around, understanding that I was likely the only vegan in the entire restaurant, and feeling completely disconnected from my date, I had a number of realizations.

Growing up as the only vegetarian in elementary and middle school, and the only vegan in high school and college, I had a hard time creating close relationships with others. It was me with my view of animals and the planet, versus everyone else and their view. I didn’t think about my difficulty connecting in that way though. Instead, I just assumed that there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t seem to form close relationships with many people.

On November 11, after telling my friend and head mindset coach in my Plant-Empowered Coaching Program Stephanie about my experience that Sunday, she wrote the most insightful words of wisdom.

She wrote,

“I think you’ve hit on something huge in terms of giving yourself a hard time. You connect easily with others, but in all honesty, you are a revolutionary with a big part in creating and forging a new world and way of living. You are so courageous to be doing that while not hiding exclusively in that community that is not yet mainstream. I know it’s not easy, my beautiful friend.”

Stephanie made such a powerful point… To a large degree I have always kept myself smack dab in the middle of the mainstream world, having mostly mainstream friends and boyfriends, and doing mainstream activities (like practicing Thai boxing and watching football). I’ve always seen it as part of my life’s work, to live my truth and inspire others to open their hearts and minds so that they too can live theirs. If I surrounded myself with people who have the same perspective, what good would I be doing the world?

That being said, I realize now that having a boyfriend who sees the world similarly to the majority of the population will inherently prevent us from developing the intimacy I am seeking with a life partner.

My date asked me the other day, “How do you travel as a vegan?” I now realize that I want a partner who will see vegan travel as an exciting opportunity to explore other countries and cultures, instead of being an annoyance or inconvenience.

There is a worthiness issue that arises here. I battled with shame the majority of my life. Shame is routed in limiting beliefs, the main one being, “I am not enough.” I have been moving through the world believing I am unworthy of a partner who facilitates my growth, a partner who brings a sense of freedom, peace, light, meaning, and joy to my life, a partner who feels I add those same things to his life. Well that changes now. I am worthy of true love and connection on a deep spiritual level, and I am putting this new energy out into the universe starting right now!