When people set a goal, the reason they set that goal is usually because they are unhappy with where they currently are.
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People often believe that happiness is on the other side of reaching certain goals. “Once I reach that goal of losing 20 pounds, then I’ll be happy,” or, “When I get that promotion, then I’ll be happy.”
Setting goals in the traditional way comes from a place of scarcity and unfulfillment. In this episode we offer a different perspective on goals… The idea that goals are fantastic tools for progressing on our life’s journey in a positive and powerful way, but only when they come from a place of abundance and acceptance.
On last week’s episode we discussed how happiness is not created in the past or found in the future. Happiness is within all of us right now. It’s a matter of developing the tools that you need to unlock or unleash the joy that you’re capable of in this very moment. And that’s a powerful thing. So, what can goals set from a place of abundance do for us?
Goals set from a place of abundance can empower us, motivate us, and create self-confidence. They can help us align our actions with our values.
On the other hand, when we set goals from a place of scarcity, we may feel shameful, not good enough as we are right now.
Goals coming from a place of scarcity can cause us to compare ourselves to others, which can in turn, bring on anxiety. We can start judging ourselves and feel a sense of disappointment, thinking, “I’m not good enough,” and “What I have is not enough”.
No matter what, goal-setting brings up obstacles, fears, and limiting beliefs, right? We start to think about all the things that are standing in our way. The Self-Empowerment Coaching System we’re always talking about, is a tool that will allow you to deal with these feelings and thoughts and recognize the opportunity for growth in any given situation.
Without the self-coaching tools, goals can actually get you stuck… Stuck in your own head, stuck in your fears, and/or stuck in your limiting beliefs.
Stephanie told me about a realization she had after watching a post I did from Santa Marta, Columbia, in which I talked about doing a handstand on some rocks. She shared with me the thoughts and feelings that came up for her when she saw my post.
Stephanie’s immediate reaction was to start to compare herself to me. She was able, however, to take a step back, become the observer, and look at the situation in a different light. She realized that doing a handstand is not a goal of hers. It’s not something that she is wanting to work towards. Doing a handstand is not something that’s in her vision of what a successful, happy life looks like for her. And that’s okay.
We all have different goals. We have different visions of what success means to us. Stephanie knew that she had reached the place where she could see my post and appreciate the skill and strength it takes to do a handstand, without diminishing her own growth or feelings of success. She was able to start appreciating her own body and her own accomplishments.
To practice the goal-setting process from a place of abundance, I encourage you to do this exercise: Take out a piece of paper and make a list of 6 things that you want to accomplish, whether that’s in the next month, the next year, or in five years. Don’t worry about the timeframe, just make a list of six things that you want, big or small. They should be things that you want and believe you can, with the right steps, accomplish.
Now I want you to pick one of the things that you listed and fine tune it. Make it into a measurable goal with a timeframe.
Now, see what emotions come up. Do you have limiting beliefs that come up surrounding the goal? Are you feeling some doubt or fear that you could fail? These are all normal emotions that can come up when we set goals. That doesn’t mean you’re coming from a place of scarcity though. It means that it’s time to utilize the self-coaching tools so you can coach yourself through the fears and self-doubt.
Write down your limiting thoughts on your paper. Observe the emotions that come. Now take a moment to transport yourself mentally to the place where the goal has already been accomplished. Visualize that reality.
Now look back at the thoughts you wrote down and address them from a place of the goal having already been achieved. Again, transport yourself to the place where that goal is already achieved. You’ve achieved that goal, and now you’re looking back on yourself now and looking at those thoughts and how you addressed them. What would you tell yourself now that you’ve already completed and achieved that goal?
The next step is to create an action plan. Again, put yourself in that place where you’ve already achieved that goal. Tell yourself how you got there. How did you achieve that goal?
What were the big steps that you took? For each big step, break it down into actionable tasks. Take yourself through the process of reaching and achieving and completing that goal from the place of already having completed it.
You may be pretty blown away with the wisdom you have. Everything is “figure-outable.” We just have to believe in ourselves!
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