Since this is my first Magic Mushroom Diaries Entry (in the form of a public blog post that is), I’ll give you a little background…
On February 5th, 2024 I’ll be celebrating my 2 year anniversary for getting off antidepressant meds.
In 1996, at the age of 16, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I was put on antidepressant medications, and with the exception of a few failed attempts to get off of them, I remained medicated all the way up until 2022.
Then, in January of 2022, after already having been on a healing and spiritual journey for many years, I decided that I was ready to navigate life without anti-depressants and weaned myself off.
Once off the meds, I did a DMT trip, which was an extraordinary experience, but did not seem to have any lasting positive effects.
I found myself spiraling into severe burn-out (something that I’d felt coming for years, but kept at bay with band-aids) and depression, which I had felt confident I would be able to handle with the countless tools I’d gained over the last decade. I shared all about this in real time with a very real and raw blog post I titled, Burn-Out, Insomnia, Psychedelics & More [An Intimate Share💖].
I subsequently traveled to Peru to work with Ayahuasca in June 2022 at an incredible center called the Temple of the Way of Light, where I participated in 6 Ayahuasca ceremonies over 11 nights with 20 others in the Amazon jungle with 5 indigenous shaman and 2 incredible facilitators.
It was a psychedelic experience I have yet to blog about because it was so complex, and so out of this world, that I’m simply not sure I can express it using words!
Just two weeks after returning from my trip to Peru however, my grandmother died, and a week later my beloved cat, Bob, fell off the balcony in front of me and died in my arms on the way to the emergency room. I share more about that in the Rise & Thrive Manifesto HERE.
A few months later I considered returning to antidepressants to take the edge off, as I just felt so heavy and uninspired… As if I was experiencing the world in greyscale despite living in bright, sunny Miami.
Instead, I decided to macrodose magic mushrooms, knowing that there is evidence to suggest that psilocybin can be effective at helping people suffering from clinical depression and anxiety.
I kayaked with a friend to a small island in Biscayne Bay (near my apartment), created a ceremonial space complete with everything needed to facilitate a transformational experience, and off we went on a trip that would change the trajectory of my life!
I walked (or paddled rather) away from that experience feeling deeply connected to not only my own spirit, but the universal consciousness that includes the energy of all creation.
The world around me presented in living color once again, and I knew in my heart of hearts that nature could provide everything I needed to navigate life without returning to prescription antidepressants.
I’ve been working with psilocybin regularly ever since, using it as-needed (usually every couple months) for a “reset,” with amazing results.
Thanks for reading this, and I look forward to continue sharing my experiences with you!
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: Psychedelics are NOT for everyone and I recommend guidance from a professional if you’re considering the possibility of working with any kind of plant-medicine.
Ella Magers, MSW
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